Jacob seems to have lost interest in his chores and has turned his full attention on our conversation. Xavier snaps his fingers and the boy is quickly back on task. I purse my lips, knowing all too well how much Xavier can demand of a person with the slightest non-verbal command.
“I’m glad to hear that. She’s sleeping right now, but I will show you to her room.” I follow Xavier through the kitchen. I don’t want to think about how his body has changed since the last time we saw one another. He was always fit, but now, his gray t-shirt is pulled tight across broad shoulders, tucked into and defining his narrow waist. I would give anything to ignore the way he glides across the cool hardwood floors. There’s something incredibly sexy about the look of a man wearing jeans with bare feet.
Not wanting to spend any more time cataloging the ways his physique has improved with time, I cast my eyes downward. It’s the only direction I can look to have any chance of avoiding the clenching in my chest. Looking around the house, I can’t help but notice how much is still the same. If I had moved into a house my husband bought for another woman, I would have insisted on a complete overhaul before the first box was unpacked. So few things have changed here that I could easily forget that this is no longer home to me.
I wish Alyssa had done more to make this place her own when she moved in. Seeing the colors I chose brightening each room, the table and chairs I picked out in the dining room and the paintings I selected hanging on the walls, makes it feel like this could still be my home. There’s no way I will ever open the door to the master bedroom because if my mission style furniture is still set against sage green walls with a chocolate brown comforter on top, my head might explode.
“Since they had to bring in a hospital bed for Alyssa, she’s been staying in my old office,” he informs me coolly, pointing to the last door on the left. “Jacob’s room is on the right and you know where the bathroom is.” I watch Xavier’s broad back as he walks away from me. He seems to have recovered from the shock of my arrival much quicker than I have.
My hand reaches for the doorknob, bracing myself for what I will find inside, reminding myself that this is just another assignment. There is nothing about the woman napping in the bed that immediately gives away her condition. If I didn’t know that a second bout with leukemia is claiming her life, it would be easy to ignore the subtle signs such as her pale skin tone and sunken cheeks. In a perverse way, I am overcome with a need to know what she looked like before the illness. Was her chestnut hair cut in the chic, short style it is now or was it longer the way I know Xavier prefers? What color are her eyes that are currently hidden behind closed eyelids? Was her frame more athletic or was she slender even before the chemotherapy began eating away at her body?
“Are you going to stand there staring or introduce yourself? A weak voice asks, pulling me out of my twisted thoughts. I need to get my head in the game before every member of the Ross family thinks of me as an incompetent flake.
“I’m sorry,” I say sheepishly, making my way to the side of her bed. I swallow hard before speaking, giving myself a moment to make sure I sound proficient at what I do. “I’m Melanie, I was sent by the home health agency.”
Alyssa assesses me in much the same way I was just doing to her. Even dark circles can’t take away from the brilliance of her jade green eyes. When she sits up, I notice a small diamond stud in the side of her nose. I push back the curiosity of what Xavier thinks of such a piercing. Back when we were together, he was adamantly against anything which would mar my face.
Stop it! You cannot afford to make comparisons between the man you used to love and this woman’s husband. You’re a professional, starting acting like it.
“Ah, yes. Xavier’s way of not having to deal with me day in and day out,” she says, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice. My chest tightens as I pray Alyssa isn’t hoping I will become her new best friend and confidant. Seeing the look on my face, she quickly adds, “Oh, don’t get me wrong, my husband is a good man, but he’s not the most caring person in the world. Don’t let him push you around or he’ll have you helping out with Jacob before you know it.”
“Mrs. Ross, I’m sure your husband is doing everything he can to make sure you’re comfortable. And I look forward to getting to know everyone in your family, but I promise you, my primary job is to take care of you.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to voice this sentiment, but I do. Desperately needing to find something to distract me, I reach for the copy of her medical chart sitting on the dresser. I don’t need to pay attention to the words on the pages because I’ve memorized them in anticipation of the challenge taking her case was going to pose for me.
“Well, that’s good to hear. Now, why don’t you pull up a chair and tell me something about yourself. I might not be in any shape to run a marathon, but I promise, we’re going to have plenty of time to get to know one another.” She smiles faintly and I get the impression she’s more trying to convince herself than me.