Every Love

Glancing down at my phone, it’s still dead, so I plug it in to charge on my drive home. It’s the first moment I’ve had away from my mom and it’s hard to leave her. But I had to get out of there before I exploded.

My phone turns on and a text from Amanda comes in. I hope your mom is okay. Call me. Dammit, I feel terrible for not saying goodbye to her. I have to call her back; she’ll be worried if I don’t.

Watching the cars on the road veering around me, I realize how slow I’m going and how zoned out I am. My phone rings and I answer it without even looking at the screen.

“Please tell me you can come over,” a familiar sultry voice says on the other end of the line. Pulling the phone away from my ear, I look at the screen, and sure enough, Andrea. Fuck. Now she calls. Why not last night when I was horny as fuck and only had my hand and some online porn to get me off? Before all this chaos.

Ever since I fucked her at Nash’s birthday party last year, she’s been riding my dick non-stop. She knows all I want is sex, so it’s a perfect arrangement for me. I take a minute before responding to her, thinking if there is any way that I can make it work. But there isn’t, and I know what my answer has to be.

“Nate, are you there?”

“Yeah, sorry. It’s…I can’t tonight.”

Telling her no kills me since she never turns me down.

“Please don’t say that, I am so fucking horny for you. Can I come to you or we can meet at the gym?”

“I can’t, my mom’s in the hospital.”

“I’m so sorry. I’m such an ass.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t know. Let me get through this and I’ll be in touch.”

We hang up and it pisses me off that I can’t just go to her. She’s become my own personal Arion in a fucked up way. She gives me a small dose of what I used to have with Arion and I fucking love it. Andrea looks so much like Arion and that’s got me hooked. Watching her blonde head as she blows me or when I fuck her from behind puts me back in Arion’s control for a few minutes at a time. So, sex with her I can’t ever seem to get enough of. She’s so sexy and a bit damaged like I am, which turns me on. Besides the obviously fucked up headspace of using her as my Arion replacement – I get it…it’s twisted – there’s the problem of her boyfriend. I don’t love being the other guy, but it does help that he’s a real douchebag, treating her shitty, talking down to her, and having his nose stuffed into fucking video games all the time. I don’t get why she stays with him, but it works for me, since I’m not looking for anything serious. We just don’t get time together whenever we want which sucks.

Putting my car in park, I head inside my parents’. Knowing what I have to do first, even though I don’t want to…I have to. I grab a trash bag, paper towels, some cleaning shit and head upstairs, then I take an old towel out of the linen closet. Before walking into the bathroom, I take a deep breath, letting all the pent up air out of my lungs. I will my brain to take me anywhere else, to ignore the task at hand. My mind keeps playing tricks on me as it’s pushing me back to that nasty room where I was held captive. I block it away, like I have so many times and just start to clean. But my mind gets the best of me and takes me back…

It’s hot – fuck it’s hot – and I can barely breathe. Looking around, the room is dusty. There is no light except the sallow sunlight that shines through the cracks of the door and a few open holes in the ceiling. My body hurts. My hands are tied behind my back to my legs. Dammit, I’m hog tied, like a fucking animal. Having my control taken away from me shoots panic through my heart. I thrash my body every which way, trying to break free and realize suddenly that I got one of my legs loose.

Before I can act on this revelation, I hear voices. It sounds like two men on the other side of the door. I quiet down and listen, but they aren’t speaking English and my Farsi is not good at all. Ignoring them, I roll to my side to get a better look at how I am tied. If I got one leg free so easily, I can certainly do the rest. All my energy is focused on getting the hell out of here. Looking behind me in the dim light of the room, it’s hard to make out what I’m seeing, or maybe it’s that I don’t want to see it. I move my leg to be sure that my eyes aren’t tricking me and they aren’t. My left foot and lower half of my left leg is gone. All that’s left is a bloody stump, wrapped in God only knows what. The shock of realizing that a piece of my body is gone causes me to scream not only in anger, but in pain and confusion…

I pull myself out of that pain and find myself kneeling on the bathroom flooring, breathing rapidly, clutching a dirty, bloody rag. Startled, I look around and realize the bathroom floor is clean. Shaking my head, I walk the trash bag out to the cans on the side of the house. On the way back in, I happen to hear my phone ringing in my car. I grab it and see it’s Amanda. “Hey, how are you feeling?” I ask, beginning to collect the things I need to take back to the hospital with me.

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