‘Wow,’ I said, transfixed by my mother, who, for the first time, actually looked like my mother and mature enough to be Dad’s wife. ‘You’re beautiful,’ I said, and truly meant it. She was even more stunning than she had been, just older.
She beamed. ‘I know it isn’t what you expected, but I’ve wanted to grow up for a long time and although your dad and I won’t get back the years we lost, this way … The years ahead will be all ours,’ she said, cosying up to Dad. I’d never seen Dad look so content.
I smiled. ‘It’s perfect.’
‘Are you sure you want to do this, sweetheart?’ Dad asked.
‘I’m sure,’ I said, heading to my room to find it stripped bare, a lone suitcase sitting in the middle of the floor. I grabbed it and headed back out. I knew that Lincoln wouldn’t be up and about for another couple of days, but I didn’t want to wait around to find out. Dad and Evelyn were by the door when I re-emerged, waiting for me.
‘Ready,’ I said.
We rode the lift down and headed straight for the taxi Dad had waiting, but as soon as we cleared the doors I saw that Spence was standing by the car. I headed to the boot and threw in my bag. The taxi driver gave me an odd look and I realised I should’ve made it look as though it was heavy.
Whatever.
After gawking at my mother’s changed appearance, Spence stalked around the car, nodding to my parents as they got in the back.
‘You weren’t even going to say goodbye?’
‘Don’t sulk,’ I said, trying to concentrate on organising my travel wallet.
‘This is bullshit and you know it, Eden! You’re not even giving him a chance to talk to you.’
‘There’s no point. Look, I’ve spoken to Dapper. He’s promised to look out for you until you have your partner. If you’re injured, he’ll heal you. Griffin and … Lincoln, too. For as long as you all need it.’
Spence’s fist went down on the car. ‘That’s not what this is about and you know it!’
I tried to press on. ‘Tell Griffin that … That technically I died so maybe Lincoln is within his rights to request a new partner. Even if he isn’t, I won’t protest if he lodges an application.’
Spence shook his head. ‘You’re running away!’
My throat ached as the permanent lump grew larger.
‘I know.’
Spence’s eyes squinted and his mouth twisted as he tried to hold himself together. ‘You’re the only damn family I have!’
I placed a hand on his shoulder. ‘I’m not. Your family is all back at that warehouse. I … I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but I have to go.’
He looked down at his feet. ‘I could come with you,’ he said quietly.
‘Not this time, Spence. You need to find your partner. I need to find myself. We’ll both be better for it in the end.’
He stepped back and opened the taxi door for me. Dad and Evelyn were waiting patiently.
‘I’ve always got your back, Eden.’
‘And I’ve got yours. Anytime, anywhere.’ It wasn’t the first time I’d made Spence that promise and I meant it just as much now.
We waited in the airport lounge for our flight to board. Only then, once I was safely checked in and ready to leave, did I allow myself to exhale.
He was alive.
Part of me wished that meant happily ever after, that I had been able to write something in that note that meant that there was hope. But there was none. Any resolution that ended with us near each other as partners or together and in love didn’t end well. He would always be the one trying to die for me.
And that wasn’t enough.
I closed my eyes. I don’t know if I actually slipped out of myself and into my angelic Sight, or simply dreamed, but one moment my eyes were closed to blackness, the next they were above Lincoln. He was on his sofa, propped up against pillows. He was panting heavily and sweating.
‘I told you; you can’t move yet, Linc. It’s going to take a few days for everything to come back online,’ Griffin said, sounding out of breath himself. Something had happened – they were surrounded by broken furniture and both looked worse for wear. Lincoln was staring straight ahead, the drop-sheet now gone, exposing the mural on my wall. I looked at the painting that had started as a solitary white lily, and now depicted a whole field of them beneath a violet sky and a golden sun. It was us … a lifetime ago.
‘I have to get to her,’ he said, his voice barely there, every word hitting me like a freight train.
‘She’s gone, Linc. She’s gone.’
A cry fell from Lincoln’s lips that speared my heart. His hand dropped down to his lap and my note fell from his fingertips.
Nothing is endless.
I know that now.
Let me go.
V
‘Sweetheart,’ Dad said, shaking my shoulder gently. ‘They just called our flight. You ready?’
I looked up at him, still feeling Lincoln’s nearness, feeling the fading rays of sunlight. I picked up my backpack and let Dad pull me to my feet. I hated that I was hurting Lincoln, hated that I was hurting myself.
But there was no other way.