I looked at her properly; her lower lip was trembling, her eyes had dark rings around them. She had been keeping vigil over Lincoln since I had not been able to. She’d been there for me and she was exhausted.
‘You’re my best friend, Steph. You’ll always be my best friend, but …’
‘You’re doing what you have to do to survive?’ she finished.
‘Yeah.’
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. ‘Just know that I’m here. I’ll always be here.’
I swallowed and tried to think of something else to say. ‘So you and Salvatore are going well? Does he know what he’s going to do next?’
She shrugged. ‘Not really. But for now, he and Zoe are going to stay in the city and help Griffin out.’
I nodded. ‘Have Dapper and Onyx been here a lot?’
‘Yeah, they’re in and out. Dapper brings food and Onyx brings … Well, nothing, but he comes. I think that’s the most he can manage.’
I sat in my chair and cuddled the pillow. ‘You know he could’ve become an exile again. Lilith offered him everything and he turned her down.’
She wasn’t surprised. ‘What can I say? He’s one of those moves-in-mysterious-ways types.’
I actually felt the corner of my mouth twitch. ‘He is.’
Steph raised an eyebrow. ‘Hey, do you think … I mean, have you noticed how Dapper and Onyx are always together and how they fight but don’t at the same time?’
I nodded, remembering having the same conversation with Lincoln. ‘Yep. Totally together.’
‘They’re a good match,’ Steph said, approvingly. She looked at Lincoln and back to me. ‘He’ll be okay. I can feel it.’
‘I know he will,’ I replied. ‘I can feel it, too.’
After Steph left, I settled into the chair and tried to sleep. I failed and eventually had to look at him. I leaned forward, putting my face close to his, and reached forwards, my hand shaking as my fingers skimmed his hair. His chest moved up and down and when my hand touched him, his breathing became faster, just like mine.
‘I can feel you,’ I whispered. ‘I know you’re back.’
I inhaled his scent, letting everything about him surround me, his warmth building. Sun and honey. I breathed out, resting my head beside him. I slept a blissful, dreamless sleep.
The next morning Evelyn was in the room, too, clearly waiting for me to wake up.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, moving away from Lincoln, who seemed to have moved closer during the night.
‘We heard what you did,’ she said.
‘Is Dad pissed?’ I asked.
‘Yep. But he’s also doing that thing he does when you do something he’s proud of.’
I nodded, understanding. Dad had a signature proud-tobe-Dad smile that went with a particularly cocky walk.
‘It seems collecting Lincoln’s soul isn’t the only thing you’ve been up to,’ she added raising an eyebrow. ‘I had a visit last night. I’d almost forgotten how intimidating your angel maker is.’
I shrugged. ‘He grows on you.’
‘Hmm,’ she said, moving to the edge of the bed and sitting opposite me. ‘He’s offered me a choice and since I’m fairly certain you opened up the opportunity for me, I wanted to ask you what you thought before I make a decision.’
I leaned towards her, taking her hands in mine. ‘Mum, do you know what you want to do?’
She froze. Her eyes welled.
‘What?’ I asked, worried.
She shook her head. ‘It’s just … That’s the first time you’ve called me Mum.’
I sighed. ‘It shouldn’t have taken me so long.’
She pulled me into a hug. I tried to hug her back, I really did, but I just couldn’t.
She eased back, studying me carefully. ‘If I do this, I won’t be Grigori any more. And we might have to move away.’
I nodded. There were no surprises there. ‘If you know what you want, and if Dad wants it too, just do it. You don’t need my permission.’
She smiled and nodded. ‘Okay.’ She glanced at Lincoln. ‘And what about you? What are we going to do with you, my girl?’
I bit down on my lip. ‘Actually, I wanted to talk to you and Dad about that.’
‘Oh?’
‘Yeah. I’ve made a decision.’
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
‘I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.’
Friedrich Nietzsche
For the next two days I sat in the chair, leaving Lincoln only to shower and make the occasional phone call. On the third day, Dapper came to see me, after I had asked him to drop by.
I could feel that Lincoln was getting stronger. I knew he would wake up soon.
I knew something else, too. Our souls were no longer joined. We were still soulmates – the familiar tug had returned instantly, combining with the coldness I imagined would now be with me forever – but the connection we’d made in the cabin … Gone.
‘Why do I suspect this is a business call?’ Dapper asked as he entered the room.
I stood up and closed the door behind him. ‘Because it is.’
He grunted. ‘And why do I have a feeling I know where this is leading?’
‘Because you probably do,’ I admitted.
He sighed and leaned on the windowsill.
‘You said once that you owed me a favour.’