The words were formal, her voice a false calm that told him she was two inches from the cliff.
"Grace—"
"And by all means, you should go now. You've more than served your purpose. You've saved me."
There was a little hiccup after that last word.
"I'm not going anywhere."
Her hand went to the base of her throat. " There's no reason for you to stay."
"What I'm trying to say is—"
"Or are you going to have me arrested for what I did to Tiny?"
Smith frowned. "We'll talk about that later."
"There is no later for us."
“Yes, there is." He went over to her and turned her around. "I don't know how it's going to work but I can't leave you. Walking away from you this afternoon felt wrong, like I was leaving a part of me behind. I don't want to be without you. I don't know if I can ... live without you."
Her eyes were wary. "What about Black Watch? What about your past? "
"Like you said, we'll work it out together."
"Oh, really?" She stepped out of his reach. "You were very worried about it before, that's changed?"
He shook his head. "Nothing. Everything."
"Now there's an answer." She smiled sadly. "Actually, that's just what I would have expected you to say."
He frowned. "Grace, I—"
Her voice was tired as she cut him off. "I'm sorry, John. But I don't think there's anything you could say that would convince me that all of the problems you saw between us have disappeared."
"How about this." He waited until she looked up. "I love you."
Her eyebrows rose and her mouth opened slightly.
"I love you. And I don't want to live without you." He paused. "I won't pretend I've handled any of this well. But I promise to improve over time. And I am trainable. That's how I made it through the Army."
He offered her a lopsided smile, hoping like hell she would believe him. Believe in them. Now that he finally saw everything they had together, he prayed that he wasn't too late.
Grace just kept staring at him. As the silence stretched between them, a cold dread formed in the pit of his stomach. She'd told him it would take a hell of a lot to open her heart to him again and he wondered if his love was enough.
He was getting ready to beg when she lurched forward.
With an awkward lunge, she grabbed on to him, almost taking him down on the floor with the force of her body.
She held on to him so hard, he thought he wouldn't be able to breathe and didn't care if he suffocated or not.
When her hold loosened, he bent down and kissed her softly.
"I love you," he whispered, relishing the glow radiating from her face. He ran a finger down her cheek. "And I want you to know that I'm ready to change. It's not going to be easy but—"
"Stop talking and kiss me again," she murmured with a smile.
"You don't have to ask me twice, lady," he said, as he put his lips down on hers.
EPILOGUE
The next morning, Grace smiled as she lay in bed and watched Smith get out of the shower. His big body was hers to have and to hold, she thought. Every last rock-hard inch of it.
And she'd held on pretty hard last night, she remembered with satisfaction.
As he pivoted to dry off his legs, she caught a glimpse of where she'd scratched his back with her nails.
"Look what I did to you," she said with a grimace.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the mirror. When he turned to her, his smile was full of masculine approval.
"I'm wearing your marks with pride and hoping for more tonight."
He wrapped a towel around his tight waist and, when she held her arms out, he joined her. His hair was still damp and he smelled like a clean man.
Her man.
I've chosen well, she thought while staring into his dark blue eyes.
When he chuckled deep in his chest, she raised an eyebrow.
"I'm just thinking of Tiny," he said. "I can't believe you Maced him."
Grace flushed. "I feel really badly about that."
"Don't worry about it. He's tough enough to handle it. I'm laughing because right about now, he's choking back some plastic eggs on a plane headed for the Middle East. He hates eating on planes."
She frowned. "Was that going to be your next job?"
"When John nodded, she felt her nerves stir.
"Do you wish you were going?"
He shook his head.
"I don't. Undoubtedly, I will sometimes but this morning, I want to be here." He dropped in for a kiss.
"I love you, John," she whispered.
He pulled back, a serious look on his face. "I have something I want to do."
"What?"
"I want to take you to dinner."
She smiled. "Dinner?"
He cleared his throat. "I want to show up on your doorstep with flowers and some little trinket from Tiffany's. I want to take you out, hold your hand, pull back the chair for you. Treat you like a lady. Be your man."
Grace laughed softly.
"You've always treated me like a lady. And 1 don't need flowers or dinner or jewelry. I only need you."
He rolled her over on top of him. "Well, you've got me."
She was about to kiss him, when he took her face in his hands.
"Grace, do me a favor." He paused. "I want you to call me Ross."
Her breath caught in her throat as she looked down into his eyes.
"It was the name I was born with. Seems fitting I should use it, now that I'm starting out all over. My last name’s gone forever but at least I can resurrect the first half."
"Ross," she repeated. "I love you, Ross." He brought her lips to his. "Oh, God, say that again."