“Well, okay then,” I whispered. A part of me didn’t believe her, but I guess only time would tell. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you home, babe.”
Dropping Ash off at her apartment, I was excited to surprise Patrick. After I parked my car on the side of the road, I jumped out and started to run towards the apartment but something just wasn’t feeling right. Normally, at this time Patrick’s grandma and grandpa were planting more flowers in the front garden.
I thought maybe I should go check on them first just to make sure everything was okay. Walking up to the front door, I started to knock but I heard screaming and crying from the other side of the door coming from his grandpa. Oh no.
As I ran past the door, I yelled, “Herman! Herman! What’s going on?” All I heard was Gramps and the sounds he was making weren’t good. I knew the noise was coming from their bedroom, so I headed there as fast as I could. Opening the door, I saw Evelyn lying in the bed and I knew something just wasn’t right. Herman was holding onto her, crying as he whispered in her ear and kissed her forehead.
I froze. My mouth hung open and tears instantly fell from my eyes. I just stood there—I didn’t know what to do. I had never lost anyone before.
Death is peaceful. It’s living that’s hard as hell. Making choices and mistakes. Having ideas and messing up. Life is what’s hard because you have all of these situations and outcomes and paths to choose and in the end, we’re all going to the same place. We can’t change the end result because every single one of us is going to die. It’s life that gives us that difference from everyone else. Because what you make of your life is all up to you. Of course you take others into consideration, but in the end the choice is yours. No one else’s. Those mistakes are ones you made. And those beautiful choices and ideas are yours as well.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason and I think we go through ups and downs in life to learn. At least, I hope people learn from them. I think I learn from mine. While I have struggled my entire life with who I really am, I made that choice.
Just recently I had decided to finally live my life. I was tired of hiding. Hiding from myself… from everyone. And that’s why I made that choice. It was a struggle but I wouldn’t change it for anything because I’m finally able to be who I want to be.
Sucking in a breath, I slowly walked over to Herman and just held onto him. Turning around in my arms, he held onto me and cried into my chest. It broke my heart to see a grown man cry. I had never even seen my dad cry. I held onto him tightly and just let him release all of that sadness. Taking a breath, I whispered, “Come on, Herman.”
He didn’t say anything. Just shook his head in my chest.
“Herman, I need to make some calls. Please come into the living room and I’ll make you some coffee.” Standing up, I wrapped Herman in my arms and walked him out of the bedroom. I sat him down on the couch. Sitting down next to him, I said, “I need to go tell Patrick.”
Quickly shaking his head, Herman said, “Patrick isn’t here.”
“I know he’s up in the apartment.”
“No, he left for the weekend,” Herman spit out.
“What do you mean, Herman? Where is he?”
Turning to me with unshed tears still in his eyes, Herman said, “He went to talk with your father. He wanted to try and make amends with him.”
“Are you serious?”
Dropping his head to the back of the couch, Herman closed his eyes. “Yes.” Tears rolled down his face. “This will kill him.”
Grabbing ahold of Herman’s hand, I said, “I’ll call him.” Standing up, I walked out into the kitchen and pulled my cell phone from my pocket. Scrolling to Patrick’s name, I looked down at it. I couldn’t believe that he was going to try and talk with my dad. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I took a few deep breaths and pressed dial.
***
Racing to the front door I flung it open. Relieved, I let out a breath. “Patrick.” I wrapped my arms around his shoulders. I knew he wouldn’t be excited to see me, at least under the circumstances. I could see my parents standing behind him and I was surprised my dad had come. The last time we had talked it wasn’t really a conversation. More of a yelling and throwing punches match. Letting out a breath, I gave Patrick another squeeze and whispered, “Welcome home,” before kissing him on the side of his neck.
As I kept one hand around his shoulder, I went to grab his bag from my dad. “I’ve got it, Derrick,” my dad said with a small smile.
Giving him a small smile back, I walked Patrick into the living room where his grandpa was. Herman got up from the sofa and before he could fully extend his arms, Patrick ran into them. As he ducked his head into his grandfather’s chest, my mom placed a hand on my shoulder and whispered, “I think we should give them some room, honey.”