CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
WHEN I HOBBLED INTO THE CAFETERIA (STILL minus a shoe), my emotions were completely tied in lopsided bows. I stood, looking over the student body, unsure of where to begin.
Maybe it was the paper flowers or homecoming ribbons on the walls or the alternating red and blue lighting, but this place was romantic. And I didn’t belong here. Not without Aiden.
I reached down to slip off my other shoe before making my way back out of the dance and down the deserted hallway. The sound of music slowly faded behind me, and I wondered where I should go. What I should do.
But going home didn’t sound glorious, and the Smitten Kittens were all inside, enjoying their nights. And I wouldn’t bring them down. Not when we’d finally solved the copy-Kitten crisis. Only they didn’t know the real devastation. I’d have to fake it until we make it. No matter how much it hurt.
I paused and looked through the glass window of the exit door. I could see the filled parking lot, the streamers hanging on the cars for the parade at the end of the dance. It was so peppy that I had to smile.
I pushed hard on the heavy metal door and had made my way across the cement when I spotted the football field behind the parking lot. I laughed at myself. How obvious—where else would a cheerleader go to think?
When I got there, I sat down on the cool metal bleacher, looking out at the pieces of confetti littering the football field to prep it for the celebration. There was a chill in the air, so I wrapped my arms around my torso and glanced up at the scoreboard. Wildcats vs. Ducks. Even though I hadn’t been a cheerleader in months, my school spirit had never faded.
I closed my eyes as a gust of wind blew through my hair, sending it back from my face. Behind my lids, I could feel tears, hot, salty.
Aiden was gone. He didn’t belong to me anymore, and really, maybe he never had. Maybe we just weren’t right, no matter how much we felt like we were. And even though I missed him, I didn’t miss the confusion.
And Kira. I shook my head, not wanting to think about what she’d done, the ways she’d betrayed me. After all of our time together, she’d written me off. She wanted to hurt me.
I put my hands over my face, trying to block out the questions. The lies. Suddenly I felt something warm wrap around me and I spun around to see Joel standing there.
“Sorry,” he said, smiling slightly. “You just look cold.”
“I am.” Inside and out. But it was certainly nice to see him.
He adjusted his coat around my shoulders before stepping over the bleacher and sitting down next to me. His thigh pressed against mine, and I wondered if he realized how close he was.
I slipped my arms into the sleeves of the jacket and used my fingertips to hold it closed. Even with company, my heart was still aching. Joel shifted next to me and I looked over at him.
The wind blew his brown hair around, and when he smiled, warm and imperfect, I felt myself smile back. “Hi,” he whispered, like we’d just started talking.
“Hi.”
“You left the dance,” he said, running his glance down the length of my dress to my bare feet. “Did you lose your shoe, Cinderella?”
I didn’t want to tell him that his girlfriend had freaked out and physically assaulted me. Instead, “I lost it in the gym.”
Joel nodded. “That’s sort of funny,” he said. I raised my eyebrow, not quite sure what could be funny about me walking around barefoot, holding my remaining shoe.
Joel reached over, and my heart sped up as he slipped his hand into the pocket of his coat (which just so happened to be against my body).
“I went back to the gym to look for you and…wait,” he said, close enough that his breath was warm against my face. “It’s not midnight, is it?”
“No,” I murmured, not sure how to move anymore. Because I was fairly certain I should pull back in some way. Instead I sat there, nearly lip to lip with Kira’s ex-boyfriend.
“Good,” he whispered. “I wouldn’t want you turning into a pumpkin or anything.”
Okay, if Joel was drinking, I would probably have been able to smell it on his breath at this distance. But he seemed completely lucid. Completely—
Just then he pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket (which, again, had been against my body the entire time) and held up a shoe. My shoe.
“I found your glass slipper,” he said with a huge smile on his face.
I looked between Joel and my yellow size six and a half and felt my entire body tingle. He shouldn’t be here with me. He shouldn’t be rescuing my shoe.
“Thank you.”
“Does this mean I’m Prince Charming?” he asked, licking his lips as he glanced at mine. “I can slay a dragon if you need me to.”
I stared into his soft hazel eyes, feeling both lost and safe. “No dragons in Cinderella,” I murmured, my breath quickening.
“Yeah.” He smiled. “I never believed in that fairy-tale bullshit anyway.” Joel leaned over like he was about to kiss me. Then he moved his head and gently pressed his lips to my cheek, touching me so softly that for a minute, I wasn’t sure if it was real.
I shut my eyes, aware that being this close to my ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend in the bleachers of the football field was completely unethical, both socially and athletically. But the way Joel touched me was so right. It was exactly what I needed, maybe all along.
With a whisper of a kiss, he pulled back only to rest his forehead against mine, his warm breath tickling my face. “I’m such a chicken,” he said with a quick laugh.
There was another breeze and I felt the rush of air on my toes. Straightening up, I glanced at my high heel, still in Joel’s hand. I smiled. “Would you mind?” I asked, crossing my legs to hold my bare foot in his direction.
He stared at my toes for a long moment, then scrunched his nose and looked over at me. “Actually, I do.” He held out my shoe to me. “I have a weird thing with feet. They sort of gross me out.”
I gasped, not because it was a horrible thing, but because it was a different thing.
“Not that your feet are gross,” Joel said quickly, looking like he was worried. “I’m not saying that. They are very cute feet.” He cringed a little. “It’s just…I don’t like anyone’s feet. I…I’m just going to shut up now.” He laughed and handed me my shoe.
Slipping it on quickly and then adding the other, I placed both feet back onto the floor of the bleachers and looked up as Joel examined them. “See, now they look cute.”
“Oh, thanks.”
Joel narrowed his eyes, glancing over me adorably. “You like me, don’t you?”
I met his eyes without lifting my head. “Maybe.”
He grinned. “ ‘Maybe’ means you’re incredibly in love with me.”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” I said. If there was one word I wouldn’t throw around again, that was it. In fact, there was a good chance I’d never love anyone again.
“ ‘Ahead of ourselves’ means you want to jump my bones right here in the Washington High bleachers.” He held up his hands. “But I’m sorry, Tess. I’m not that kind of boy.”
“Stop.” I laughed. Okay, maybe “never love again” was a bit overdramatic. “You know, you’re sort of funny?” I asked, taking a strand of my hair and twisting it like I was bored. “You should really think about becoming a stand-up comedian or something.”
Joel made a face and then smiled. “I have a better idea,” he said, standing up and extending his hand to me.
I was scared to take it. What if my back spasmed again? What if—
“Take my hand,” he whispered, his face becoming serious. “Be with me.”
My stomach fluttered with anxious butterflies. He was right. I did like him. Without thinking anymore, I slid my cool palm into his, immediately comforted by his warmth. Joel pulled me to my feet and stood me up close to him. Carefully he put his hands on either side of my waist as I put my hands behind his neck.
“May I have this dance?” he asked.
I looked around the empty bleachers and the field beyond. “Here?” There weren’t even any paper flowers!
“Right here.”
I stared at him, seeing both his affection for me and his insecurity that I might walk away at any moment. And to be honest, I knew I should.
“Right now,” he added, pulling me just a little closer.
Being against him and enjoying it were wrong. But I couldn’t stop myself even if I tried. There were things I’d done in my past that I wasn’t proud of. All the time with SOS, Christian, and some of my poor relationship choices with Aiden. And even as I stood, slow dancing in the bleachers, feeling completely…well, smitten, I had a feeling that out of any of my mistakes, this could wind up being my worst one.
Totally and completely falling for my ex-best friend’s ex-boyfriend.