“I don’t suppose I could just text her?” I ask, only half joking.
My aunt tosses a sugar packet at me. “No, absolutely not.” To my horror, her eyes begin to water. I suppress the urge to run, thinking I can’t possibly deal with another emotional scene right now. “You really love her, don’t you? I mean, not just that, you’re in love with her.”
I consider it a small victory that I don’t flinch as I answer, “Completely and absolutely. I can’t lose her.”
Seeming much more confident than I do, she assures me, “You won’t. She might be upset right now, but she loves you as well. I’ve never been one to believe in soulmates, but if such a thing exists, you two are surely it. She brings out a side of you that I never thought I’d see.”
“A nice guy?” I quip.
“You’re ruining this moment for me,” she complains with a smile. “What I actually meant was that I see the boy in you before the man was forced into survival mode. You were always a serious one, but you had a big heart. That part of you was gone after Cassie. It took Lia to bring it back.”
“Well, let’s hope she’s happy with what she has uncovered,” I say lightly even though I feel a fresh surge of anxiety. I had managed to distract myself from my earlier panic while talking with my aunt, but it’s back now and stronger than ever.
“Everything you’ve been through is a part of who you are, Luc. We all have moments in life we’re not proud of. I don’t know what happened in your last days with Cassie—that’s none of my business. But, you need to share it with Lia so you can finally be free from carrying the burden by yourself. It’s not a sign of weakness to need someone to help and support you.” With a laugh, she adds, “And to kick your butt when you deserve it. I have a feeling that Lia can handle the job.”
I smile, thinking my aunt knows Lia very well. “No doubt about it,” I agree. We both finish our coffee, making small talk. Truthfully, I’m dragging my feet like a * and talking to my aunt gives me a convenient excuse to do it. Her knowing look, when I continue to stall, lets me know she’s well aware of what I’m doing but is too nice to call me on it.
“If it’s okay with you, Luc, I’m going to talk to a friend of mine who runs an alcohol treatment program. I know cocaine is different, but some of the withdrawal symptoms are similar I would imagine. Unless you plan to enter a facility to withdraw, which of course I would recommend, then we need a plan. I think Jeff would even see you on an outpatient basis.”
“I’m not doing anything inpatient,” I reply immediately. “I know it might be better if I did, but there is just too much going on right now for that. If you trust this guy, I’m willing to talk to him about treatment. I’m not naive enough to think I can do it on my own. I didn’t use anything while Lia was in the hospital, but I was about to climb the walls. Stress is a trigger for me, which, of course, is impossible to avoid.”
“I’ll talk to him today then. Call me later if you can and let me know how things go with Lia. Just remember that she’s been through a lot lately. Even if you want to order her to come back home with you immediately, you shouldn’t. If she needs time, then give it to her.”
Frowning, I shake my head. “I can’t do that, Fae. I can’t fuc—breathe without her.”
My aunt smiles at my attempt to cover my curse word. It’s not as if I don’t cuss around her, but I try to avoid the F-word. Holding a hand in the air, she asks, “Then why are we still here? I’m waiting for you to grab a paper and start reading it next. For a man on a mission, you’re rather slow-moving.”
“As long as I’m here, I still have hope that she’s coming back home with me. Soon, all bets are off.” I get to my feet, knowing I can no longer delay.
My aunt tells me that she’s going to stay and return some emails for a bit. “Good luck, Luc. Remember, just let Lia listen to you and then you do the same. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.” When I nod slowly, she gives me an encouraging smile. “Call me later.” Surprising us both, I drop a kiss onto her cheek before leaving. If my aunt’s reaction to a simple act of affection is any indication, I’ve been failing both of the women I love. Would the one woman I love more than anyone else in the world forgive my failings?
Chapter Two
Lia