60
One More Chance
I never thought I would
Hear your voice again
When the others left the room Sarah lingered for a few moments. She was alone, she could see that, and yet she didn’t feel alone. She looked at the book in her hand, wondering if the presence she felt might be that of the person who had last held it. Morag Midnight. She shuddered at the thought. But as she walked from the room she felt a small hand entangled in her hair, and she sighed in relief. “Mairead,” she whispered. “Thank you.”
She ran downstairs. There was something else Sarah needed to do before they left. Alone. Just for a minute, she begged, and reluctantly Sean agreed, as long as she didn’t wander out of sight. He was now standing a hundred yards from her, watching her clutch her mobile with shaking hands, her hood shielding the snow from the back of her neck.
She had to speak to them. It might be the last time. She decided to start with the conversation that was likely to be less painful. Bryony.
Three bars in the corner of the screen showed that there was a signal. She prayed that it would be strong enough. She pressed the green button.
Sarah knew that Bryony lived with her phone in her hand, and it barely rang once before Sarah heard her friend’s familiar voice.
“Sarah?” Bryony sounded astounded.
“Bryony. It’s me. Merry Christmas, a bit late.”
“I’ve been trying to phone you for ages! Where are you? Still on Islay?”
“Yes.”
“With Harry, or Sean – whatever his name is?”
“Yes.”
“Are you OK?”
“For now, yes. Bryony, listen. Listen. I know you’ll find this hard to believe, but you were right. It wasn’t a burglar, that night in my house. I’m sorry I lied to you.”
Bryony let out a deep breath. “I was right.”
“Please let me finish. I’m going somewhere. I might not come back. I wanted to apologize, to tell you the truth, just in case.”
Bryony sounded strangled. “Sarah! Don’t do this.”
“It’s OK. Really, it’s OK. There was always so much going on in my life, Bryony.” She closed her eyes briefly. “I could never tell you. And I’m sorry about that. You need to keep safe, do you hear me? Don’t go out on your own. Try and always have someone with you. And if you see something strange, be on guard.”
“Sarah, you’re scaring me!”
“I’m so sorry. I just want you safe. Will you do as I say?”
Bryony’s voice sounded fearful. “What’s going on? Are you in trouble? What is it? Have you done something wrong?”
“No, nothing like that. Bryony, you know you were my best friend.”
“That I was your best friend?” Bryony was crying now. Sarah could hear it in her voice. She imagined her friend’s face, that face she knew so well.
“I might come back.” She tried to sound brighter.
But Bryony wasn’t reassured. “You might. You might come back!”
There was no point in continuing the conversation. “Be safe. And please don’t tell anyone about this. Promise.”
“I promise, Sarah.”
“Bye, Bryony. ”
Sarah pressed the red button as quickly as she could, cutting Bryony off before she could respond. That was hard enough. She took another deep breath, then, giving Sean a quick wave over her shoulder to reassure him that she was nearly ready, she dialled the next number. There wasn’t much time.
It rang for what seemed like an eternity. Finally Sarah’s heart plummeted as the answering machine kicked in. She couldn’t leave a message. She tried again. It rang a few more times, and Sarah was almost ready to give up and walk back to Sean, when she heard a crackle on the line, and then a feeble, barely audible voice.
“Hello, Siobhan’s phone. Juliet speaking.”
Sarah felt her legs buckle from under her, and she fell to her knees on the wet sand.
“Hello? Hello?”
A sob came from Sarah’s throat, and exploded in a flood of joyful tears. “Aunt Juliet! It’s me! It’s Sarah!”
“Sarah! Darling! I’m so glad to hear your voice. Your uncle told me you never wanted to speak to me again!”
“What? No, no! I thought you were dead.”
“I nearly died, Sarah. It was a terrible attack. And I think they were looking for you. They mentioned your name. I had to know how you were, but Trevor wouldn’t let me.”
“I’m so sorry, Aunt Juliet. There’s so much I’d like to tell you.”
“Sarah, darling, don’t. I know. I’ve always known that there was something strange going on in your lives. I just never wanted to believe it was as dangerous as this. Come home, my love. We’ll help you, we’ll keep you safe.”
The offer of a home, love, security was so tempting. Sarah turned and looked towards Sean, standing waiting for her. “I can’t. I need to go. I need to sort it all out, for us, and … for everyone. I know it’s hard to believe.”
A moment of silence.
“I understand,” said Juliet.
“You do?”
Sarah could hear a voice in the background. Uncle Trevor.
“Bless you, my Sarah,” whispered Juliet. “I need to go. I love you like a daughter, you know that, don’t you?”
“I love you too, Aunt Juliet!” said Sarah, closing her eyes to a sudden gust of salty wind.
The line went dead. Aunt Juliet was gone.
Aunt Juliet was alive.
61
Love Must Be Spoken
My love for you
Is what keeps me breathing
I knew you
Before I knew you
Sean
Everybody is packing, sorting, loading the cars to head for the boats, stepping over ashes and debris. All of us are pale, frightened, determined. I watch Sarah make her calls, and then get back on her feet and slip her mobile back into her pocket. She’s walking towards me, her eyes wide. Something has happened.
“Aunt Juliet survived,” she whispers, smiling.
I take her hand and lead her away from the house. She looks at me for a second, in a silent question, but she follows me down the snowy slope and onto the beach, and beyond the rocks where we met Winter for the first time.
The wind cuts our faces with sheets of snow. It’s so strong it hurts, and so cold that my breath is taken away. The sea and the sky are angry, and I know it’s going to get much worse. But we’re about to steal a moment from the world, a moment just for us.
I have to shout over the roar of the sea as I lean towards Sarah, her hair blown by the wind, enveloping me. I know we can never be together, I know that our union would betray all I believe in, all I stand for – Harry’s legacy, and my duty as a Gamekeeper – but I still have to tell her. I still have to speak the only words that matter right now.
“Sarah. I love you.”
The wind and the sea are so loud that they carry my words away. She has to stand on her toes and whisper her answer straight into my ear. Her breath is warm against my face, her hair caresses my cheek as she replies.
“I love you, too.”