Even though she was very young, Marie felt she had a grasp on the world around her. But Sadie was an enigma. Every time she spotted Sadie, she went home with a troubled feeling. It was as if she were totally ignorant about the world. And that she might be a fool.
Marie had a nightmare she was in the woods. She was walking along when she encountered a deer. The deer stopped in its tracks and stared at her. She had always thought deer were among the most beautiful animals. They were like horses in a ballet. She held out an apple for the deer. The deer approached her, opened its mouth, and let out the cry of a young troubled girl.
Marie sat up in her bed. She began to cry loudly. The dream had made her feel so alone. It was as though the voice inside the deer had come from her own throat. She had never felt alone in life. There were always so many people around to amuse her and tell her she was wonderful. But now she sat up in her bed and cried as though she were totally abandoned, as though there were no one to hear her for miles. Two maids and her father rushed through the door that joined their bedrooms in order to come to her aid. One of the maids was naked except for her bloomers, while the other had on nothing but a bonnet and her father’s robe. “Now, now,” her father said.
Marie had been reading Goblin Market for the last few weeks. She was memorizing it for the annual Girls’ Elocution Contest. She brought the small book of Rossetti poems in her hand to the park. She intuitively knew that people who read books a lot always wanted to talk about them. It was a communal language. This was a book she thought she knew well. She would be able to use it as an excuse to speak to the inscrutable and reclusive Sadie.
Sadie and Marie had figured out that the other was often in the park around four thirty. They had arranged to be in each other’s presence even though they hadn’t yet spoken. Marie looked around for Sadie. She spotted her from a distance, seated on her favorite bench.
Sadie took a notebook out of her basket and scribbled a thought down with a fountain pen. Marie was overcome by a desire to know what Sadie had written. What was it like to have a thought so interesting it belonged in a notebook? She didn’t know whether she had thoughts like that. She felt that she didn’t leave a thought in her head long enough for it to be organized, thoughtful, and worth recording. For a moment she considered turning back. But instead she approached the dark-haired girl.
Another girl skipped up to Marie to say hello. Marie was curt with her and sent her away. She had never been rude like that to another girl, but she didn’t want Sadie to know they were friends. She would be humiliated by the association. She had seen Sadie standing and looking at a group of girls the day before with a dour expression, as though she was judging them. She wondered what was wrong with the girls. What was it that Marie wasn’t seeing? Marie decided this girl was trivial and silly, and she wanted nothing to do with her.
“Hello,” Marie said.
“Hello,” Sadie answered, looking up.
They stared at each other. And that was it. They were already shackled together.
“What are you reading?” Sadie asked.
“Goblin Market.”
“Ah! I like that poem.”
“You can’t possibly know it. It’s brand-new. That’s why I’ve chosen it.”
“It is the story of two sisters who go for a walk in the woods and come across a goblin market. One of the sisters eats the fruit and becomes poisoned and mad. So the other sister must return the next day for an antidote to save her.”
“Oh,” said Marie, chastised.
“I have been reading The Lady of Shalott. It’s truly ridiculous what women do for men. She has to kill herself to look at a handsome man? She doesn’t even know him. That’s totally ridiculous. I don’t find men good-looking at all. In fact, I find them all ugly. I would gladly never have to look at any of them ever again.”
“But my father is beautiful. All the maids tell me they find him handsome.”
“Perhaps. But men always tell you what to do, don’t they? I want to live a passionate and tragic life. Because then I will have things to write about. The way things are now, I have no subject matter. Everyone here is positively boring. Everyone acts the same. They don’t care at all about ideas.”
Marie didn’t know you could be critical of the Golden Mile in this way. She had accepted the world around her with great delight. She was beyond satisfied with it. It had never occurred to her that she might be living in a false, inadequate world that was robbing people of their true experiences. She was startled.
Marie was immediately smitten by the manner in which Sadie complained about things. Sadie analyzed everything. She found everything wanting. Her distaste for the world around her caused her to visualize and desire more. Marie had never realized how intelligent being negative made you.
She went home confused. What else was she not seeing? She would have to spend more time with Sadie. She had something to learn from Sadie. She wanted to know everything Sadie did.
* * *
Sadie was surprised when she received a written invitation from Marie to come over to her house the next Saturday for tea. But if she was surprised, her parents were shocked. Her mother had no idea why Marie Antoine would want to spend time with her dour, inhospitable child. But although she could not fathom the motives, she immediately saw the opportunity for what it was.
That evening Sadie’s parents made her aware of how important her relationship with Marie was. Sadie needed to understand the scope of the Antoines’ fortune. Louis Antoine had so much money, he could fund a political campaign to victory. He could easily buy anyone a seat in Parliament. And that was what Sadie Arnett’s father wanted more than anything.
Her mother got on her knees in front of her and fixed her large bow around her neck.
“Sadie, my love,” her mother said. “Be sweet with Marie. Daddy needs this very much. We are very proud of you.”
Her mother kissed both her cheeks and her father patted her on the head. It didn’t really make Sadie feel loved. In fact, quite the opposite.
* * *
Marie met Sadie at the gate of her mansion and walked her around the estate. Marie paused to give Sadie a few minutes to look at the roses, as guests generally liked to do. The mansion was surrounded by a thick bed of beautifully kept pink roses. They were like ballerinas taking a break and sitting down in their tutus. It was so incredibly lovely. Each rose seemed to be a vision of health. It was as though each were in such a good mood.