Palmer: So, you gearing up for graduation?
Me: (Nods) I’m on track for May.
Palmer: Only a month left then?
Me: (Smiles) Yeah.
Palmer: And Kaeleb? He’s ready as well?
Me: Yep.
Palmer: (Grins) I hear you two are getting married. Congratulations, Aubrey. I’m very happy for both of you.
Me: (Laughs) And to think it all started with the Elements of Trust. Who knew you had mad match-making skills?
Palmer: (Chuckles and strokes his beard) I’m multi-talented, what can I say?
Me: You’re more than that, Doc. You’re a miracle worker.
Me: (Brows furrow) Why did you quit? Practicing I mean.
Palmer: (Laughs) It would seem that I never really did, wouldn’t you say? (Sighs) I do enjoy the teaching aspect, helping people learn to break through whatever issues they have with trusting others. But sometimes I guess there are just certain individuals who silently call to me for my guidance such as you and Kaeleb. I don’t need to get paid for it. I just do it because that’s what I feel that I’ve been put on Earth to do.
Me: (Nods) I understand completely. That’s why I’m going to med school, I think. To use my experiences to better others.
Palmer: That’s very admirable, Aubrey. I have no doubt that you will find yourself very satisfied with your chosen profession. That passion is unyielding and when you witness a complete transformation, such as I did with you, there is truly no greater reward.
Me: (Leans forward) I don’t think I could ever possibly convey how much you did for me, Doc. If it hadn’t been for you, I’m not sure I would be sitting here.
Palmer: You would be. I have no doubt. The strength that you possess can’t be taught. It’s inherent. As I’ve said before, you did all the work. With or without me, you would have found your way eventually.
Me: Well, I’m not so sure about that. (Laughs) But thank you.
Me: (Rises from couch) I guess that’s it, Doc. I just wanted to stop by and say thank you again, for everything. See you at graduation?
Palmer: Of course. (Stands) It’s been the utmost privilege to watch you grow over the last four years. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of it. I hope that you will keep in touch in the future. I will…miss our chats.
Me: (Swallows back tears and punches him in the arm) Oh, Doc. You can’t get rid of me that easy. I’ve got your number, remember?
Palmer: (Laughs and opens door) Well then, I look forward to hearing from you. (Face falls serious) I’m very proud of you, Aubrey. You have overcome so much over our time together and I have no doubt that you will make a profound impact on your patients, no matter what area you choose to specialize in.
Me: (Jerks head back) Did I not tell you?
Palmer: I don’t think you mentioned it, no. I would have remembered.
Me: Oh. (Exhales) Well, since I had such an excellent mentor, I will obviously be pursuing Psychiatry. Working with children and adolescents specifically.
Palmer: (Grins Widely) I think that is an excellent choice.
Me: I thought you would. (Laughs) So you will most definitely be chatting with me a great deal in the future.
Palmer: (Dips his head) I can’t imagine a greater honor. Thank you, Aubrey.
Me: (Steps out of his office and turns with smile on face) No. Thank you, Doc
.
Today is officially my last day here at Titan. The year passed by in the blink of an eye, but it wasn’t without some new firsts that should be mentioned:
The first night Kaeleb and I spent together in our house. Rental house of course, but it’s our home…for the meantime. After we’d christened it multiple times, I rolled over in Kaeleb’s arms and stared at the swear jar on our bedside table, its only purpose to remind me of the meaning of unconditional love. Linda’s. Quinn’s. And of course, Kaeleb’s. Although he did strive to remind me often. Hence the reason we didn’t leave the house for an entire week.
The first (and only) time Quinn became engaged. Tommy Larkin proposed at a candlelight dinner via serenade and she happily accepted, giggling the entire time no doubt. They’ll be getting married this summer, right after us.
The first time we all finally managed to have a successful family dinner. Quinn’s and Tommy’s parents, Kaeleb’s grandparents, and me as we celebrated the new engagements. It was bittersweet without Linda, but as I looked at the people all around me, I knew I would never be without family. They surrounded me as we recanted the details of the proposals to everyone, and even gave encouraging hoots when we went into Quinn’s standoff with Sabrina. The pride on her mother’s face told me that she finally grasped the fact that there was no need to worry about her baby girl.
The first time that Kaeleb caved to his grandparent’s insistence, and finally spoke to his parents. It wasn’t easy, but I think he’s finally worked through what he needs to in order find the closure he needs. They continue to speak once a week as they work on mending their relationship. They’re here today, along with his sister.
And as I sit here in my turn to cross the stage, I reflect on my four years here at Titan University.
I came here a terrified girl, completely hidden inside my darkness and ruled by my fears.
Yet somehow, even while consumed by that darkness, I found my way.
I found the courage to make new friends. Life-long friends.
Friends that provided me strength when I thought I had none.
Friends that forced me to face my greatest fears, no matter how much I protested.
Friends that gave me a reason to wake up each day.
Friends that made me laugh for the first time in years, held me when I cried, and rooted themselves deeply in my heart, refusing to cut the ties that bound us together when I pushed them away.
They taught me the meaning of true friendship, and for that I will forever be grateful.
I found love. True, absolute, everlasting love.
Love that was so readily given even when I refused it.
Love that when finally accepted, spread throughout my heart and soul, giving me the strength to look deep within myself and face my past.
Love that doesn’t end with death, but that does, in fact, conquer it. Because in death, I found the true meaning of love and laid to rest my fears, emerging the person I was meant to be.
But most importantly, I found myself. I found the light that had been yearning to burn inside of me all along. And once I found it, I held on tightly and nurtured it until it infused within my heart and my soul, bathing away the darkness. Cleansing me. Preparing me. Healing me.
I died when I was eight years old.
I existed inside death for many years until I finally discovered the true meaning of life—a gift to be utilized and never be taken for granted.
And I will leave this campus today alive and breathing, ready to make my mark on this world...
Fully resurrected.
“So there it is folks. The story of my resurrection. As I stated before, I hope that you find yourselves able to take something from my story. The next four years of your life, as you embark on your own journeys, will be some of the greatest and possibly some of the most difficult of your lives. There will be so many of your own firsts to experience. Take time to learn from each one.
“In the audience among you, you will see all the people who made a difference in my life during my time here at Titan. Well, almost all of them. There’s Kaeleb McMadden, with his patented crooked smile, right there in the front row holding our six-month-old baby girl, Adley Walker McMadden in his arms. Next to him is the infamous Quinn Larkin, formerly known as Quinn Matthews. Yes, the one bouncing up and down in the chair. And next to her is her husband Tommy Larkin, along with their very handsome young man, Ethan.
“Behind me on the stage in that chair right there, is Professor Martin Palmer. He invited me here and gave me the opportunity to share my story with you. So thank you for that, Doc. You know how I love speaking in front of crowds. I’m pretty sure this is some sort of therapeutic exercise in which I’m unknowingly participating. That being said, if you have a chance to take his Elements of Trust course, I highly recommend it.
“All kidding aside, I wanted you to see all of these people because without their help, I wouldn’t have become Dr. Aubrey Miller and I most likely wouldn’t be standing here in front of you today. You see, whether it be the assignment of a roommate, or the pairing of your Boarding Buddy, or a certain class you take, or even a particular relationship you form with one of your professors…no matter how trivial it may seem, every situation you will find yourself in over these next four years has the potential to change your life.
“I was lucky. I was given a second chance. And I’m using that gift to counsel patients who need help dealing with their own darkness. To help them navigate through the particularly hard times in their lives. That’s my purpose. What’s yours?
“You may not know now, but I hope that during these next few years, you discover what your true passion is. College is a time of learning and growth for all of you. So here’s my advice:
“Face your fears and overcome them. Become the best person you can be as you grow into your impending adulthood. Find what drives you and hone those skills. Practice them and perfect them, so that you can leave this world in a better state than you found it.
“Be thankful for each day you’re granted on this earth. Form friendships. Find love. Feel passion. Embrace destiny. Your destiny. Because at the end of these four years, you will most likely not be the same person you are at this moment. It’s up to you to decide who you will be. What you will do. And how you will do it. So, choose wisely.
“Thank you so much for allowing me to speak at this year’s Freshman Orientation. And although I’m still wondering if this isn’t Dr. Palmer’s payback for missing my own, I’m extremely honored to be the first to introduce you to this campus. I look forward to witnessing the indelible marks that you will most certainly leave upon this world as each and every one of you complete your own separate journeys here. So, with that being said…
“Congratulations, Graduating Class of 2018. Good luck to all of you, and of course, welcome to Titan University.”
There are several subject matters in this book that sadly affect millions of people all around the world. If you, or someone you know, is battling depression, dealing with the aspect of being bullied, plagued with thoughts of suicide, or in need of help accepting the loss of a loved one, please click on the appropriate link below to access information about mental illness and finding a way to get help.
No one is alone.
Depression: The National Institute of Mental Health: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/depression/index.shtml
Bullying: Stopbullying.org:
http://www.stopbullying.gov/what-is-bullying/
Suicide: Suicide.org: Suicide Prevention, Awareness and Support: http://suicide.org/
Grief Counseling: Medline Plus: A service of the U.S. National Library of Medicine and National Institutes of Health:
http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/001530.htm
There are so many people to thank in this section. So many people that worked with me, listened to me, and helped me when trying to get Aubrey’s story where I wanted it to be. I hope I get everyone…
First, and foremost, my husband. Who painstakingly dealt with our three children as I wrote this book. Taking them to dinners, to movies, feeding them ice cream–whatever I needed so that I could write undistracted. Your faith in my writing and your strength when I had none will never go unnoticed. But they do, sometimes, go unmentioned. So, thank you honey, for everything. You are my anchor.
To my girls – I love you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for your patience. I know it’s not easy, but you never complain. And I love you so much for that. You are truly the loves of my life. I. LOVE. YOU.
Jena Eilers – GAH! Our fourth book. Yikes. Thank you so much for just being there. Building me up when I feel nervous, listening to me go on and on about the storyline, giving me ideas and helping me when trying to figure out where to go next – with all of my books. You are the definition of true friendship, unconditional love, and unyielding support. I love you so much. THANK YOU!
Stephanie Johnson – Thank you for being there from the VERY beginning. You were there when this was supposed to be another story entirely. You helped me work out the details, listened to me ramble on, and on, and on – FOREVER! You never complained and cheered me on as I wrote. I love you so much. Thank you for being my friend and one awesome beta reader.
Lisa Paul – My sister. Thank you for taking calls every five seconds, reading my random excerpts, bouncing ideas with me, and giving me excellent advice when coming up with the plot clear until I typed “The End”. And even long after. I have been SO incredibly blessed to have you in my life. You are such an amazing friend and I love you clear to the depths of my heart.
Nicole Tway – Thank you for also taking my random phone calls and helping me form the story. I remember talking to you about the prologue and you helped me work the beginning and the end of my story to help it become full circle. And of course, thank you for your friendship. It’s not often we find things to be real, but you my dear are as REAL as they come. And I am so thankful to have you in my life. I love you.
Tina Torrest – GAH WOMAN! You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much for beta reading this story in its last stages. Well, I thought it was in the final stages until you got a hold of it. LOL! Thank you for challenging me. Because of you, my story is exactly how it should be. Your love for these characters rivals mine, and I know you expected nothing less than the best for them. You are amazing. And I am so glad that I met you. THANK YOU!!!!!
Regina Wamba – I sent you ONE scene and you came up with the most beautiful cover I’ve ever laid my eyes on. And it’s not only gorgeous, but it is so perfectly representative of the story inside. The light and the dark, the dismal abyss, the resurrection. You captured and told my story beautifully. You are so fabulous at what you do. My words cannot thank you enough.
Jennifer Roberts-Hall – Thank you for not only editing this baby, but for your unconditional support and faith in my writing. You know better than most how difficult this journey can be, but your optimism and continuous support give me hope. Thank you for understanding my stories, my lessons, and helping me mold them. You are truly the most caring and wonderful person I know. I love you.
Kassi Cooper – Thank you for formatting my baby and making it look it’s best in every single way that it’s read. You add so much personality with your little tweaks here and there. You are truly gifted at formatting, and I thank you for bringing the words to life on the pages.
Missy MacKenzie Swain – Thank you for making me smile on a daily basis. And thank you for your constant uplifting messages and hope-filled words. You will NEVER know how much they mean to me. You keep me going when I want to quit. You never fail to make me laugh, and I am SO blessed to be able to call you my friend. I love you so much.
Alexis Ciman – I must include you because you, like Aubrey, have excellent taste in music my friend. And because our highly intellectual conversation are actually useful sometimes. ;) Thank you for giving me music suggestions, but more importantly, thank you for making me giggle non-stop via text. I love you!
Becky Carter Nichols – Thank YOU for cracking that whip. You were the driving force when I wanted to lounge around and not write this book. You kept me on course, and I thank you so much for that. Now that I’m done, you can stop cracking now. LOL!
Jennifer Diaz – Thank you so much for your constant support and your mad pimping skills. And thank you for pointing out a couple of aspects in the story that I overlooked. You are amazing at what you do, your constant support for indie writers. I know it’s not said as much as it should be, but THANK YOU. From the bottom of my heart!
Keelie Chatfield – Thank you for all of our random, less than clear-headed conversations. LOL! You listened to me chat about the story, and your excitement to see what happened truly kept me writing. I am so glad we met in Vegas. But, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except that one picture of me kissing your cheek. Not sure how that happened. Heehee. Any-who. I love you, woman. Thank you for your CONSTANT support.
Luna Sol – A VERY special thank you goes out to you and your awesome teasers! Thank you for bringing the characters to life with such amazing collages. You are so talented, and every one you make for me truly showcases the stories in such a beautiful way. Thank you for taking your very valuable time to highlight some of my favorite quotes. I keep all that you make, and go back often, smiling when I read them.
Kara Hildebrand – Thank you for YOUR awesome teasers as well, and your uncanny ability to make me spit Red Bull when I read your messages. I can’t wait to meet you later this year! Thank you for being there as I wrote this story. #writelbwrite will forever be my favorite hashtag.
Sandi Armstrong, Cezanne Dilbert, Jennifer Sons, Laura Harris, Christine Borgford, MJ Fyer, Laura Hildalgo, Jeanette Mancine, Heather Reed, Lisa Ammari, Maria Ibarra, Annie Brown, and Kendra Kirby Haneline – YOU LADIES! GAH! I just love you so much! Your excitement and support mean the world to me. You have no idea how much you make me smile. Every. Single. Day. I love you all so much. Thank you for constantly commenting, pimping, “liking” – all the things that you do to help me get my books seen. You are so amazing, all of you.
For all the bloggers that continuously share my teasers and generate excitement for my upcoming books. I would be absolutely nothing without you. My works would remain unread if it wasn’t for your reading, reviewing, and pimping. You do so much for the indie community, and please believe me when I say, you make a WORLD of difference for every indie author you promote. And you do it all because of your love of books and for no other reason. Completely. Amazing. Thank you.
And finally, to the readers, thank you so much for reading Aubrey’s story. I truly hope that you took something away when you were through. That her journey made a difference in your life, in some way, shape, or form. I can never truly express my gratitude for taking a chance on this book. Thank you.