Flora alighted at Liverpool Street from the airport and came up from the warm bowels of the subway, reflecting, briefly, how shocking London is when you’ve been away and aren’t used to it; how there are more people, probably, on the railway concourse than live on her entire island. Then she realised that she’d been standing on the escalator a microsecond too long because somebody barged into her and made a loud tutting sound.
It seemed very strange to her that she’d only been away a few months, as the London commute used to feel as natural to her as breathing. Now she couldn’t imagine why anybody would put themselves through this if they didn’t absolutely have to.
Now, this morning was something she was not looking forward to. Not at all. It was ridiculous: all she had to do was go in, pick up her stuff, sign some forms for HR to tell them she was leaving and promise not to work for any more high-flying law firms in the next three months, which wouldn’t be difficult, seeing as there weren’t any high-flying law firms on Mure. There was no high-flying anything. That’s what made it so nice.
So she shouldn’t be nervous. But she was. The trouble was, Flora couldn’t help herself remembering, now she was back in London. She remembered what it was like here, when Joel was constantly dating ridiculously beautiful models; when he used Tinder and hook-ups and all sorts of things Flora had never been particularly good at; when you would never, in your wildest dreams, have put a senior partner – a handsome senior partner too – together with some pale paralegal.
Flora was unusual-looking, she knew, but not traditionally lovely. Her hair was a very pale strawberry blonde, almost fading away to nothing, and her skin was white as milk. Her eyes were the colour of the sea; they changed almost constantly from grey to green to blue. She was the product of generations of island folk and Vikings.
But she wasn’t like the gorgeously, beautifully made-up Instagram girls of London, with their amazing clothes – everyone in Mure just wore a fleece every day – and blow-dried hair – there was never any point doing this in Mure, for windy reasons. Here, everyone seemed so self-assured and busy and rushing and glamorous. And she felt herself shrink. Whereas Mure felt like her home, her place to be. It didn’t, however, stop London making her feel like a failure.
Focus, Flora told herself. Focus on the good stuff. Their life together. She blinked.
There was no doubt that being with someone as driven, as tough as Joel was, was as her best friend Lorna said, difficult. A pickle. He had grown up in foster care, in and out of other people’s homes. Flora wasn’t exactly sure he’d ever managed to properly attach to anyone. She worried, genuinely, how much it was her he loved, how much her family – she and her three brothers adored each other, mostly through the medium of slagging each other off – or how much the island itself, with its calm atmosphere, where everyone knew each other. That it gave his anxious heart a berth, which was all very well. But Flora wondered if that was enough; if she, herself, were enough.
Because they had worked together, in this building, for four years, and he’d never noticed her. Not once. Never even known her name. Even though she’d spoken to him several times, when he first called her up to discuss Mure, he’d acted as if they’d never met before. Kai, her best friend in the office, had found it absolutely astounding that they had got together. And Kai was someone who cared for her. What on earth the rest of the office must be thinking she couldn’t bear to imagine.
She steeled herself. In, out and it would be over. And she could get on with the next, massive stage of her life, whatever it was going to be.
Chapter Four
Fintan MacKenzie, the youngest of Flora’s three elder brothers, blinked awake to the sight of his boyfriend, Colton Rogers, stretching in the sun.
‘What are you doing?’ groaned Fintan. They’d been finalising possible whisky suppliers for the Rock the night before – the development was coming on at an extremely leisurely pace – with fairly predictable results, and the early spring sunshine coming through the huge paned windows of the hotel room was messing with his head.
‘Sun salutations!’ said Colton bouncily. ‘C’mon, join me?’
Fintan put his head back under the covers. ‘No thanks! Also, you know, that is not your most flattering angle.’
Colton grinned and carried on. ‘You won’t say that when you see how bendy it makes me. Come on, get up. I’ve got green juice and green tea on the go downstairs.’
‘The only thing green around here,’ complained Fintan as he headed off to the bathroom, ‘is me. What have you got planned today?’
‘Seeing my lawyer this morning to go over a few things,’ said Colton.
‘Is that the weird American guy?’ shouted Fintan from the bathroom.
‘Weird guy would suffice,’ said Colton, ‘seeing as you are talking to an American. Anyway, you should know. Isn’t he marrying your sister?’
Fintan groaned and popped his head out of the bathroom. ‘Don’t ask me, for God’s sake. Flora is a law unto herself. And anyway, marrying? Really?’ He made a face.
‘What have you got against marriage?’ said Colton, stretching himself out again like a cat and bending his back.
‘Only that it’s for idiots,’ said Fintan. ‘Look at Innes.’
Innes was the eldest MacKenzie brother, who had married the beautiful Eilidh. It had ended badly, she had raced back to the mainland and now he saw his gorgeous, wilful daughter Agot not nearly as much as he would like.
‘Mmm,’ said Colton. He changed position and didn’t say anything more, and there was a slightly odd silence between them. Then Fintan disappeared into the shower and promptly forgot all about it.
Colton kissed him when he got out.
‘That’s your “going away for ages” kiss,’ grumbled Fintan. ‘I don’t like it.’
‘Neither do I,’ said Colton, a smile playing on his lips.
‘What?’
‘Nothing.’
‘What?’
‘Well, now I’ve got that tame lawyer working for me …’
‘Can we stop talking about him please?’
‘… I thought I’d go, maybe close down a few things – make it easier for me to spend more time here.’
‘Seriously?’ said Fintan, his face lighting up. Colton looked at him for a while, just enjoying the effect it had. ‘That would be awesome,’ said Fintan.
‘I know,’ said Colton. ‘I’m going to … well. I have some ideas.’
Fintan embraced him. Then he looked up. ‘Can we still go to the Caribbean in February though?’
‘Yes.’
Chapter Five
Adu on reception smiled happily to see Flora and she was grateful to see a friendly face.
‘You’re back!’ he said.
‘Oh, no, I’m off,’ she said. ‘I’ll turn in my pass later. I’m leaving.’
Adu looked surprised. ‘You’re leaving the firm?’
‘Uh-huh.’
‘Why?’
‘To … um. I’m running a café in Scotland now.’
Adu blinked. ‘But this is … this is the best law firm in London.’
Flora tried to smile. She tried to make herself think of all the punishing hours she’d put in here, the early mornings, the late nights, the endless tedious paperwork she really hated. She’d done everything her mother had wanted her to do – get a degree, get a career – and then, she’d been forced to go home, thinking she didn’t want to – and realised she’d loved it all along. It was the strangest feeling.