Sugar Cookie Murder

BLUEBERRY SHORTBREAD BAR COOKIES

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

 

This is Betty Jackson’s recipe. She says to tell you they’re the best bar cookie to eat if you’re on a diet, because they have only ? cup of powdered sugar. (that’s true, but she’s forgetting about all the sugar in the can of pie filling.)

 

3 cups flour (no need to sift)

 

1 ? cups butter, softened

 

? cup powdered (confectioner’s) sugar (don’t sift unless it’s got big lumps)

 

1 can (21 ounces) blueberry pie filling (or any other fruit except lemon)

 

First Step: Combine butter with powdered sugar and add flour. Mix well.

 

(You can also do this in a food processor using cold butter cut into chunks, and the steel blade.)

 

Spread half of this mixture (approximately 3 ? cups) into a greased 9 x 13 inch pan.

 

Bake at 350 degrees F. for 15 minutes. Remove the pan from the oven. DON’T TURN OFF THE OVEN!

 

Let the crust cool for 5 minutes.

 

Second Step: Spread the pie filling over the top of the crust you just baked. Sprinkle it with the other half of the crust mixture you reserved and gently pressed it down with a metal spatula.

 

Bake the cookie bars for another 30-35 minutes, or until the top is lightly golden. Remove the pan to a wire rack.

 

Cool thoroughly and then cut into brownie-sized bars. If you like, sprinkle the bars with a little extra powdered sugar.

 

HANNAH’S “HOT” BROWNIES

 

Preheat the oven to whatever it says on the package of brownie mix.

 

I really have to apologize for this recipe. I don’t usually use packaged mixes, but the thought of putting hot peppers into my very best brownies made me queasy. At the time, I figured this was good enough to be on the front lines of the brownie wars. I wouldn’t have put this in the cookbook, but Mike and Bill, along with seven other deputies, begged me to do it.

 

1 package brownie mix (any old kind will do)

 

4 ounces canned diced jalape?o peppers

 

Prepare the pan and the brownie batter according to the package directions.

 

Drain the liquid from the can of jalape?o peppers. (This could have a side benefit of clearing out your drain.)

 

Dump the peppers into the brownie batter and stir them around.

 

Pour the batter into the pan and bake according to the package directions.

 

Mike likes these with milk. Bill would rather cut a big square and top it off with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Lonnie likes his with plain coffee (and that makes me think that he might be the right guy for Michelle).

 

RHUBARD BAR COOKIES

 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

 

A note from Hannah: This recipe, or a very close variant, was contributed by over a dozen Lake Eden women. They also contributed recipes fro rhubarb pie, rhubarb bread, rhubarb cookies, rhubarb jam, rhubarb tarts, rhubarb cakes, and rhubarb sauce. We decided, in a emergency session of the cookbook committee, to include only one rhubarb recipe, since the cookbook will be distributed nationally and, believe it or not, there are some areas of the country where the rhubarb doesn’t grow! Since so many Lake Eden ladies like this recipe, we chose it.

 

1 cup flour (no need to sift)

 

1 teaspoon baking powder

 

? teaspoon salt

 

? cup butter, softened

 

1 egg

 

1 tablespoon milk

 

2 cups rhubarb, peeled, finely diced

 

1 package (3 ounces) strawberry Jell-O (regular, not sugar-free)

 

1 cup white (granulated) sugar

 

? cup flour (no need to sift)

 

? teaspoon cinnamon

 

? cup butter, softened

 

Mix the flour with the baking powder and the salt in a small bowl. Cut in the softened butter (mix in small amounts with a fork) until the mixture is crumbly. Whip up the eggs in a glass with the milk. Add the mixture to your work bowl and stir until it’s thoroughly incorporated. (You can also do this in the food processor with chilled butter cut in pieces and the steel blade.)

 

Coat a 9 x 9 inch pan with nonstick cooking spray.

 

Spread the mixture out in the bottom of the pan and press it down slightly with a spatula (or your hands.)

 

Sprinkle the diced rhubarb over the top and sprinkle the Jell-O powder over that.

 

Put the cup of sugar, half-cup of flour, and cinnamon in your work bowl. Mix together and cut in ? cup softened butter (mix in small amounts with a fork) until the resulting mixture is crumbly. (You can also do this in the food processor with chilled butter cut in pieces and the steel blade.)

 

Scatter the crumb mixture over the top of the pan.

 

Bake at 350 degrees F. for 45 minutes, or until the rhubarb has cooked through and the topping is nice and brown.

 

Cool in the pan on a wire rack. When the cookie bars are thoroughly cool, cut them into brownie-sized pieces.

 

These can be served warm, room temperature, or chilled.

 

DESSERTS: OTHER SWEET TREATS

 

CANDIED PECANS FROM LOIS

 

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F., rack in the middle position.

 

Sally Laughlin’s mother, Francine, got this recipe from her friend Lois Melin.

 

2 pounds pecan halves.

 

2 egg whites

 

dash of salt

 

1 cup white (granulated) sugar

 

? cup butter, melted

 

Coat two 9 x 13 inch cake pans with nonstick cooking spray. Divide pecans and put half in one pan, half in the other. Toast them at 325 degrees F. for 15 minutes. Remove from pans and set aside.

 

Beat the two egg whites with the dash of salt until stiff but not dry. Fold in the sugar and then the toasted pecan halves.

 

Pour half of the melted butter in one pan and half in the other. Divide the nut mixture and put half in each pan. Fold the mixture into the melted butter with a wooden spoon or spatula.

 

Bake at 325 degrees F., uncovered, for 30 minutes. Stir every 10 minutes.

 

Remove pans from the oven and spread the contents out on wax paper. Let cool slightly, and then separate. Cool completely.

 

Sally puts these in little tins and gives them as Christmas presents. They’re so good, you won’t be able to resist them.

 

CHOCOLATE FRUIT PLATTER

 

This recipe is from Bonnie Surma, who says this is about as fancy (and easy) as she ever gets when it comes to desserts.

 

2 cups chocolate chips (semi-sweet or milk chocolate)

 

Dried fruit (apricots, peaches, dates, figs, and pears work best)

 

Melt the chocolate chips in the top of a double boiler and stir them until smooth.

 

Spread the fruit out on cookie sheets lined with wax paper.

 

Dip the fruit into the chocolate, coating half of the piece. Once dipped, place the fruit on the waxed paper. (Pears look best if you dip the bottom half.)

 

Once all the fruit is dipped, refrigerate the cookie sheets until 30 minutes before you’re ready to serve. (The chocolate is tastier if it’s not too cold.) When it’s time to serve, arrange the fruit on a platter and serve with strong coffee for an elegant dessert.

 

Bonnie says to tell you that you can dip fresh strawberries in chocolate by this method. If you buy strawberries with the stems on, you can dip the whole berry. Otherwise, just pierce the top half of the berry with a toothpick and dip the bottom half.

 

Mother reports that Bonnie made a lovely platter for the Lake Eden Regency Romance Readers group last summer. It had strawberries dipped in milk chocolate, semi-sweet chocolate, and white chocolate.

 

BEVERAGES

 

ENGLISH EGGNOG

 

This recipe was contributed by Winthrop Harrington II. Even though Winthrop isn’t from Lake Eden, Mother is, so it’s in.

 

1 dozen eggs

 

? cup white (granulated) sugar

 

1 quart whole milk

 

1 pint half-and-halt (light cream)

 

1 pint whipping cream

 

2 cups brandy (or rum, or whiskey of your choice)*

 

Separate the eggs. Beat the egg whites until they form soft peaks. Set aside.

 

Beat the whipping cream until it forms soft peaks. Fold it into the egg whites. Set the mixture aside.

 

Beat the egg yolks until light-colored and fluffy. Mix in the sugar, milk, half-and-half, and 1 cup of brandy. Fold into the cream and egg white mixture.

 

At this point, the eggnog can be refrigerated in a tightly covered pitcher for up to 12 hours.

 

To serve, stir brandy into the pitcher, and the pour the eggnog into glass cups, if you have them. Dust the tops with freshly grated nutmeg or cinnamon.

 

This is English eggnog, and it’s not as sweet as American eggnog. Taste it after you’ve made it. If your family would like it sweeter, add more sugar to taste.

 

*To make the nonalcoholic version, add 2 additional cups of milk and 2 teaspoons of rum extract or vanilla extract.

 

DIMPLED DUCHESS

 

Bertie Straub contributed this recipe. She told me she serves these drinks when her best customers stay late for a “hen party” at the Cut ‘n Curl. (Mother says she certainly wouldn’t swear this on a stack of Bibles, but there’s a rumor going around that one too many Dimpled Duchesses could be responsible for Donna Lempke’s bright orange hair.)

 

Use a blender to make these drinks. For each person served you will need:

 

2 tablespoons amaretto liqueur

 

? cup strawberry ice cream

 

Zoop up the ice cream and the liqueur in the blender and pour into a fancy stemmed glass.

 

Bertie says to make certain that anyone who’s had more than two Dimpled Duchesses gets a ride home with someone who hasn’t had any.

 

EXTRAS (THAT DIDN’T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE)

 

MRS. KNUDSON’S SEASON SALT

 

Priscilla Knudson says to tell you that she got tired of buying the expensive “seasoned” and “seasoning” salt they sell at the Red Owl Grocery and started making her own. She says it’s just as good as the store-bought kind, even better when you consider that you probably have all the ingredients in your spice drawer anyway, and that it costs you nothing to make it.

 

? cup table salt

 

1 tablespoon celery salt

 

1 tablespoon garlic salt

 

1 tablespoon paprika

 

1 teaspoon dry mustard

 

1 teaspoon onion powder

 

? teaspoon cornstarch

 

? teaspoon ground oregano

 

Place the ingredients in a blender and blend for a few seconds. Store in a tightly-covered container (like the one you saved from the last time you spent money for the store-bought kind.)

 

You really don’t need a blender to make this, so don’t run out and buy one if you don’t have one. Mrs. Knudson says to tell you she just puts everything in a quart canning jar and rolls it around on the kitchen counter until it’s mixed.

 

Yield: ? cup Season Salt

 

WERNER HERMAN’S CATFISH BAIT

 

*** NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION ***

 

Jack Herman, Werner’s son, contributed this recipe. Lisa says to warn you not to let anyone make this in your kitchen. Do it outside in a bowl that you can throw away. And for heaven’s sake, keep it outside! Don’t ever let anyone talk you into putting it into your refrigerator!

 

1 pound fresh liver (any kind will do)

 

1 small can very smelly cat food

 

1 small package Jell-O powder (Jack says to tell you they like any flavor except grape — Lisa says Jack doesn’t like grape Jell-O either.)

 

fat from 6 strips of bacon, fried crisp (You can eat the bacon.)

 

2 cups melted Velveeta cheese (the original flavor)

 

Chop the liver, sprinkle the Jell-O over it, mix in the smelly cat food, and add the bacon fat. Drizzle the melted cheese over everything and stir to coat.

 

Marinate (Lisa suggested another word) for a week in a cool place. (NOT your refrigerator — use a cooler in the woodshed or outside on the back porch.)

 

Yield: Makes all the bait you need to catch enough catfish for the annual Lion’s Club fish fry.