Chapter 23
It was too much for him for a second. Something that scared him, that he obviously didn’t want to do but he once again put his trust in Jack. And Jack could not remember being happier and more determined to make sure he made his boy feel safe and cherished. Of course he knew that being cleaned the way he wanted was something that was strange the first few times. Shit it was strange every time until it became familiar but he also knew that it was going to put Rebel in the right mindset.
“Sit backward on the toilet,” He told his sub, kissing him before and after.
Rebel looked at the toilet like he wanted to run from it, like it was something alien but he did it. He straddled the toilet and folded his arms across the tank before he put his chin on them. Jack rubbed his shoulders, massaging the tension out of them and his neck. He leaned in to the touch of his Master and his eyes closed. Jack was glad it was easy to take his tension at least for that few moments. He wanted this all to be a good experience for Rebel.
Stopping the touches for as little time as possible he worked fast to get the bag ready, get the shower turned on and get everything set so he could start before Rebel could take off or reconsider safe wording. Rebel hadn’t moved a muscle when he felt over his back and moved his hair to the side so he could bend over and kiss his neck, whispering, “It’s going to go into you and I want you to hold it in for a little while and then let it out when I tell you. Okay?”
Rebel nodded, paling almost instantly. Jack didn’t push a verbal answer. He wanted to put Rebel back into the place he was when he was flogged. Eventually he wanted to be able to put Rebel into that place, that peaceful subspace, with only a word or look. Jack lubed the thin nozzle and knelt down beside Rebel. Rebel’s eyes were screwed tightly shut and Jack took a minute to touch his thigh, caressing gently. “You’re beautiful. You’re mine.”
Jack inserted the nozzle and Rebel clenched. Talking to him, Jack got him to relax some but not much. This was the hardest thing they done together for Rebel but Jack knew he would be all right, and hopefully more than all right.
“I’m letting the water go now. It’s warm but it may cramp you some. Just breathe through it and focus on me Rebel.”
Rebel shook his head once and said, “Fuck just do it already or I’m gonna book it out of here.”
Smiling Jack said, “Okay just focus on me baby.”
Finally Rebel’s eyes opened and turned to Jack, his eyes imploring his Master and Jack let the water start to release then leaned up to kiss his sub gently. “Stay right here with me baby. I’m not leaving you.”
“You keep saying that.”
Jack kissed him again and felt Rebel shift. “Because I want you to know that. I want you to know that I’m always going to be with you.”
Rebel closed his eyes again and groaned. The water was half gone from the bag and Jack knew he was having his first cramp. He rubbed his hands over Rebel’s lower back and stomach. “It’ll pass Rebel. Focus on me, on my love.”
“Fuck I love you. Didn’t want to.”
Jack chuckled low. “I know. It showed.”
The little smile Rebel gave was amazing and Jack had to drag his eyes from it to look up at the bag. The water was almost gone and he kept his hands rubbing slow circles, easing the second building cramp.
“It’s gotta be over now. I can’t take this anymore.”
His sub looked pained but he knew it was nothing Rebel couldn’t handle. Rebel was strong, so fucking strong. Just to survive all he had showed that. “It’s almost over baby and then we’ll shower together. A long hot shower.”
Rebel hummed, “Good, mmm, yes, shower.”
The water gone, Jack took the nozzle from Rebel and kept rubbing. Rebel squirmed and had tears leaking from his eyes. “Get the fuck out of here now. I ain’t doing this in front of you. There’s no way.”
Jack stood but didn’t move away. “Let it go baby, I’m not going anywhere.”
He could tell Rebel was struggling between wanting to argue and not wanting the water inside of him anymore and once Jack saw that he was having another cramp, his body tense with it, the pain won out and he let go. His boy turned bright red in his face and over his chest and Jack soothed him through it. Made him know he wasn’t alone.
Jack hurried Rebel into the shower and held him close as the water warmed over them. He started kissing a resistant Rebel. “Talk to me.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?” Rebel shook his head and looked away but Jack wouldn’t have that. “Look at me now.”
Rebel did, his eyes full of pain. “Listen Jack if you want that guy you can have him. You don’t have to try to chase me away.”
Jack leaned back on the shower wall, completely stunned that Rebel could even have that thought going through his head let alone believe it. He pulled Rebel into his arms and held him tight. “Fuck what do I have to do to show you that’s just not true? What do you need from me baby?”
Rebel was shivering even though the water was hot and Jack held him even tighter. “I don’t know. I just don’t understand this shit. It feels like you’re trying to shove me away. It’s not that hard believe me. I am pretty good at figuring shit out and if you want me gone to make room for that Lonnie guy I can go right now.”
Jack looked into Rebel’s eyes and pushed back the tears he wanted to shed for the way Rebel thought about himself. “I’m doing these things to bring you closer to me not to shove you away. No way on Earth am I ever giving you up. There is no way that I don’t want you with me. I don’t even want to go to work just so I can be with you more. I want to live every second with you and enjoy our time together. I’m doing this stuff for you not to you Rebel I thought you understood that. I know that was hard for you but it will get easier. All of the things I do are to put you in a better place in your mind and body.”
“That was hard.”
Nodding and nuzzling his face into Rebel’s neck Jack said, “I know but it was nothing you couldn’t handle. The flogging is hard isn’t it?”
Rebel shifted and as Jack looked back into his face he saw him blush. He knew then that it would be okay. “It’s different with that.”
Jack held back his smile. “Why is that? Because you like it? Because you get off on it?”
“Yeah, okay. It’s cool. It’s different.”
Jack got the shampoo then and moved Rebel under the water, wetting his silky hair and working up the suds. “Well, we are going to do a lot of different things. I can’t have you thinking that all of them have some hidden meaning. I want you with me. Forever.”
“Forever is a long time.”
“I’m counting on it.”
As much as he wanted to put off the rest of the evening, he knew he had to push through it. Rebel could not think that he would get out of doing the things that Jack planned for him by getting freaked out. If anything he had to keep going, keep pushing even harder to show Rebel that he was not backing off a bit. He needed the consistency in his life and he needed to know that Jack would follow through with what he said.
He took Rebel’s hand and walked with him to the bedroom. There was no rush so he lay on the bed and brought Rebel over the top of him. Rebel’s cheek rested on Jack’s chest and Jack breathed slowly, letting Rebel feel that he was at ease.
“You really think this shit will help me? Chase the demons or whatever the fuck you call it.”
“Yeah I do or I wouldn’t be doing it. The sex parts of the things we do are secondary to getting your headspace from thinking you have to fight or run all the time.”
Rebel nodded against his chest and sniffled. Jack lifted his face into his hands. The tears in Rebel’s eye tore at his heart and he longed for the day that that sadness wouldn’t be prevalent and his happy subspace would be his normal feelings.
“Rebel, believe me when I say that I want you. I told you about Lonnie because I never want to lie to you or keep things from you. I want us to share everything and live our lives together in every way.”
Rebel’s voice was hoarse with emotion. “That seems so…so impossible. I think it’s unreal to think you will tell me everything and I will. Relationships don’t work like that.”
“Ours will. I am going to insist on it.”
A blush and a smile preceded Rebel asking, “Or you’ll beat it out of me?”
Jack’s chuckle shook Rebel on top of him. “You got it.”
They lay together just kissing and touching for a long time. Rebel’s hands felt so good on him that Jack’s skin tingled. He had missed being touched. He had missed it and didn’t realize how much until Rebel came to him. Touches, kisses, soft words, how did anyone live without those simple but immense pleasures?
Well no more. No more doing without. He was determined that he and Rebel never had to live without those things again and not without the more intense things either.
“It’s time my love. I want to feel inside of you with my whole hand.”
Rebel shivered and his eyes grew dark. “Yes Master.”
God that made him crazy when Rebel said it, but even crazier when it fell from his mouth so naturally, so easily. “Let’s get you ready.”
Rebel climbed off him but remained on the bed blinking up at him. Jack moved quickly but tenderly as he cuffed Rebel’s wrists and attached them to the headboard.
“Why are you tying me? I said I’d do it.”
“Because you look so hot when you’re bound. Because you should be still while I do this so you don’t hurt yourself. Because I fucking want to.”
Rebel choked out a laugh. “You always get what you want.”
“And when I am getting what I want I’m giving you what you need so it works out pretty well. Now hush.”
Rebel’s smile was sincere but he looked scared and it was to be expected. Fisting wasn’t something to take lightly on either of their parts. “I’m going to work slow, move slow. Don’t worry by the time I am fully inside you it will feel much better than you might think.”
Rebel nodded and asked, “Have you done it before? Been done to you?”
Jack thought back and closed his eyes for a minute, remembering the nights with Martin. How much they had enjoyed exploring and trying new things and before they had even tried submission and domination, they had tried fisting. Both of them had loved it. It was actually the first time Martin had found subspace even though neither of them knew what that was at the time.
“Yes. I’ve done it several times before and it’s been done to me a couple times too. I know exactly how it feels just like I know how most all of the things I do to do feels like. I made sure that I did so I knew everything Martin was feeling.”
Jack parted Rebel’s legs and moved a couple of pillows under his hips. Rebel had his eyes clamped shut and Jack asked, “What are you thinking?”
“That this is gonna hurt like fuck. That I’m letting you do shit I swore I’d never do with anyone.”
Smiling Jack said, “I’m glad you do things with me no one else has gotten to experience with you and as far as hurting, I know it sounds that way but it doesn’t exactly hurt. It feel different, yes, but it’s nothing like the pain you already like so stop worrying so much and let yourself relax.”
“Easy for you to say you ain’t getting a big hand up your ass.”
That made Jack chuckle but he soon turned serious. He slicked two fingers and ran them around Rebel’s hole gently. He was going to take all the time he needed but he had a feeling Rebel would push him to go faster once he started to relax and get into it. Rebel needed more than he even knew. One finger dipped inside just to the first knuckle as he teased a bit, watching Rebel’s face as much as he was watching his finger partially disappear. He pushed in a little farther and Rebel started to respond, pushing his hips down to fuck himself on Jack’s finger.
“Let me control it Rebel. Stay still for me.”
Groaning Rebel asked, “Why?”
“Because you belong to me,” he answered in a growl. “This sweet ass is mine and I will be the one to decide how deep or fast I finger fuck it.”
With a grunt Rebel relaxed his hips but kept his eyes closed. Jack was okay with that for the moment but once it started getting more intense he was going to make Rebel watch, see himself getting fingered and then when the fireworks really started and he had his hand inside of his boy he wanted to see every single bit of Rebel’s reaction.
Two fingers went inside and Rebel struggled hard not to move his ass down to meet Jack’s fingers. It was beautiful the way he struggled with himself. He wanted to be good. He tried so hard to make Jack happy and he did. So happy it didn’t seem real.
“I’m putting in three now and I want you to look.”
Rebel’s eyes came open and Jack sighed with how he looked. His eyes dark and filled with lust and his lips parted in silent moans. It was so erotic Jack’s pants got even tighter around his cock. “Good boy.”
Please Jack. Master. Please.”
“Please what Rebel?”
“Fuck me now…I need it.”
Jack stared into his eyes as he slipped the third finger in and the keening sound that came from Rebel was amazing. In that one sound his boy conveyed the desire he felt. Jack found his gland and touched it with his middle finger, rubbing over it quickly then pulling his fingers almost out before moving them back in fast. With his other hand he rubbed over Rebel’s perfect thigh, massaging then caressing so softly he knew Rebel would barely feel it. Every other time he thrust his fingers in he would hit Rebel’s prostate and Rebel tried to close his eyes again, to block out everything but the feeling but Jack wanted him to experience all of it, the sights and sounds, the smell of their cum when it was finished. He wanted Rebel to come hard because it would be the last time until he was completely on his leave of absence.
“Going to put four in now.”
Rebel groaned and nodded hard. “Yes, four, five, do it!”
“Shh, just feel it, watch it baby.”
Rebel’s eyes locked with Jack’s as he took his fingers out and added more lube. Rebel was lit up with sensations and his breathing was short gasps. Easily Jack slipped in the first two fingers, pumping a few times hard, giving Rebel a little of what he wanted, clipping over his sweet spot every thrust until he added the third and slowed a bit before adding the fourth finger soon after. Rebel’s legs were shaking and he was leaking all over his stomach. His cock hadn’t gone down since the first two fingers were fucking him and Jack wondered if he would even go down at all while his hand was inside.
“Why?”
Rebel breathed the word out but Jack was so locked in with his lover that he heard him clearly. “Why what Rebel?”
“Why…fuck! What I mean…what do you get out of this?”
“Mmm baby I get a lot out of this. I get so much out of this. I get to watch you struggle with how much you are loving this. I get to feel you opening to me. I get to love you in ways you never thought could be real love.”
“I feel loved. It’s fucking crazy.”
Jack smiled and pushed his fingers in hard. “You are loved.”
After he took his fingers out for the last time, Jack folded his thumb over and added more lube, rubbing it all through and over his fingers and palm, the back of his hand and wrist as Rebel watched, his breathing coming even faster. The shaking on the bed increased and Jack’s cock leaped at Rebel’s reactions to what he was seeing. Fuck his boy was hot.
Rebel watched as Jack’s hand neared his hole and he tensed. Jack stopped and looked at him, meeting his eyes after a long moment of Rebel mesmerized with Jack’s slick hand. Once their eyes met though Rebel relaxed from the look of pure love and insistence Jack gave him. His breathing even slowed and he laid back some, just enough so he could still see. The fingers touched Rebel’s well-stretched pucker and Jack felt the clench quickly before Rebel opened up for him, letting him in. He slid steadily in watching Rebel take in his fingers, then his knuckles, his thumb started to disappear. Rebel’s eyes were wide as he watched Jack entering him and Jack leaned up to kiss his forehead.
Rebel’s insides were scorching hot, smooth and perfect. They clung around him sweetly, tightly and invited him further. Once Jack’s wrist was surrounded by the tight ring of muscle he stopped. He had to calm his own breathing and shift some, he was wet from his own precum leaking over his cock and running down his balls.
“Are you all right?”
Rebel couldn’t speak but he tried, his lips parting then closing again before he nodded.
“You are doing great Rebel. So great.”
A choked out sob was all he was answered with but it was a sob of hunger. Rebel’s tongue licked over his lips and he swallowed, nodding some more and looking deep into his Master’s eyes, pleading with him for more. There was no way Jack would not answer that plea.
Slowly Jack’s hand curled into a fist and Rebel opened around it, and then clung beautifully. The knuckled on his fingers were just above Rebel’s prostate and Jack pulled down just enough that they brushed over it hard sending Rebel’s head falling back and he let out a wail that filled the room. Panting he finally said, “Yes, yes, oh fuck Jack. I want it! Fist me!”
Jack leaned up and kissed his lover, keeping his fist in place while he licked against Rebel’s tongue, sucking his full lips and then kissing over his face. “Do you feel this? No one else will ever be inside of you like this. No one else will ever stretch you like this. You belong with me. You belong to me.”
“Yes, yes I do I belong you, to only you forever I swear!” Rebel was still, so still it was making his muscles shake more so Jack continued.
He moved in slowly and made sure to rub over his sweet spot again and again perfectly. Rebel wailed and pulled on his restraints hard but was Jack’s good sub and kept his eyes on both what was happening to him and Jack’s reassuring face as Jack watched Rebel’s which was lost in desire. He was flying so high and Jack was happy to have been the one to make him fly. Proud that he was the one bringing this kind of extreme pleasure to his boy.
Rebel’s cock stayed semi hard through it all but Jack wanted it all. He wanted to make Rebel come while he had his fist inside of him so he bent over and took Rebel’s cock in his mouth.
“No, no, no way, too much! Too much Jack please!”
Jack didn’t stop swirling his tongue around the head of Rebel’s cock and Rebel stayed in place, didn’t try to move away. He felt his sub’s cock grow in his mouth and each time he sucked Rebel into his throat he pushed over his boy’s gland and the two sensations together had Rebel screaming.
He didn’t stop until his boy spilled into his mouth and he’d never tasted so good. Jack kept his mouth on Rebel until every drop was out then took his mouth away and looked down at Rebel who was humming in after orgasm pleasure. He was flying still and spent so well he was already trying to doze off.
“I’m taking my hand out now baby.”
Rebel didn’t respond so Jack started pulling his hand out gently. He watched the ring of muscle contract back as he came out, grabbed a condom and he quickly wiped the lube from his hand onto his sheathed cock then he was pushing inside of his boy. He bent down and started kissing the beautiful mouth of his lover as he thrust in hard, swallowing each sound Rebel made, grunts and pleas and moans. Jack couldn’t help himself but to fuck his lover hard and fast. His own climax barreled like a bullet through a gun. So turned on he was, so happy with Rebel and so fucking hot he couldn’t help it. He came so hard his vision grayed and he fell over Rebel panting loudly.
Rebel couldn’t move his arms but he wrapped his legs around Jack and breathed into his ear, “Master. You are my Master,” then fell to sleep.