Chapter 7
~ October, 2013 ~
~ Hayley ~
We’re sitting in the cafeteria. Hannah and Noah are arguing, while Cameron and I watch, amused. Over the last four weeks, I’ve become close friends with them. We spend every free moment together when we’re on campus and my days are more interesting with them around. I’ve also spent more and more time with Cameron and I’ve found that there’s more to him than the cocky facade he hides behind. He’s also delivered on his promise to ask me out every day and he hasn’t been subtle about it either. Every time he’s asked me he’s done something a little more ridiculous than the time before and more often that not, I’ve turned beet red from embarrassment. I thought it would stop, that he’d get tired or give up, but he wasn’t kidding when said he’s persistent. After the first two weeks, people started whispering, spreading rumors about us. I soon realized that Cameron had never done this with another girl before and this made me somewhat unpopular amongst the female student population.
“Seriously, Noah, you’re such a pig,” Hannah chides, smacking her brother on the arm.
Noah shrugs, a smug look on his face. “What?” he asks. “I can’t help it if the girls find me irresistible.”
Hannah rolls her eyes. “I don’t know why. You eat like a pig, you’re a complete slob and you’re a total man whore.”
Noah squares his shoulders, grinning arrogantly at his sister who is clearly very exasperated with him. “You see sis,” he says, putting his arm around her shoulders. “Girls don’t want me for my personality. They want me for my body and what I can do to theirs. Because let’s face it, I’m a great lay.”
Cameron snorts, choking on a piece of his burger, and Hannah looks at Noah with disgust. “I hope you get checked regularly. God knows what you catch with the amount of ‘holes you plug’. I’m surprised your ‘mini-me’ hasn’t fallen off yet, especially after seeing the type of girls that leave your room in the mornings. And let’s hope you don’t knock anyone up.”
Noah sits back, and looks his sister in the eye as he says, “That’s where I’m smart. I have a rule about that.”
“And what’s that?” Hannah asks, skepticism written all over her face. Noah’s dark hair, matching Hannah’s, falls into his eyes and he brushes it away.
“Well, it’s quite simple,” he replies. “Up the bum, no babies.”
Hannah’s mouth drops open and Cameron howls with laughter. I start laughing next to Cameron but cover my mouth when Hannah glares at me.
“Ugh, you really are gross. I can’t believe we are even related.”
Noah pats Hannah on the back. “You still love me sis.”
“Well played dude,” Cameron says next to me, giving Noah a high-five.
“Thanks,” Noah smirks.
I glance down at my watch. “C’mon, Han, we have to go,” I tell Hannah.
I stand up but Cameron grabs my hand and pulls me onto his lap. His one hand stays wrapped around my wrist, while the other rests on my hip. His closeness is wreaking havoc on all of my senses. My yellow sundress rides up my thighs and my skin tingles where it makes contact with the rough material of Cameron’s jeans. His hot breath hits my neck and I have to clench my muscles to stop the shiver that wants to run down my spine. His stormy eyes meet mine and I see a smile playing at his mouth.
“Go out with me,” he whispers. “Put me out of my misery.”
Out of all the ways he’s asked me out, this has to be the best. He lifts a finger, tracing it from the soft spot below my ear down to the hollow of my neck. He seems oblivious to the eyes that have now fallen on us, and it feels like the cafeteria has grown completely quiet. Everyone’s watching us.
Deciding to be brave, and play Cameron at his own game, I lean in close, our lips almost touching.
“No,” I breathe.
He grins and I can see the challenge swirling in the depth of his eyes.
I climb from his lap, feeling my head swim. He drives me crazy and I’m sure he knows it. I accidentally knock my bag over, causing him to chuckle. Bastard.
I pick up the few things that fell from my bag and start towards the cafeteria doors, aware that everyone, including Hannah, is gawking at me. As soon as I’m outside, away from the scrutiny, my shoulders relax. Unfortunately there relief is short lived when Cameron bursts through the doors and runs after me.
“Hayley, wait!”
I spin around and see Cameron jogging towards me, a sexy, wide grin on his face. I take a moment to look at him, admire his boyishly rogue features. He really is stunning, in a rough kind of way.
“Go out with me,” he says, catching up with me.
Now I have no choice but to roll my eyes because that’s twice in one day that he’s asked me and it’s twice in one day that I’ll have to reject him.
“Cam,” I sigh. “We’ve been through this every day for the last month. My answer is no.”
“But now you have no choice but to say yes.”
My eyebrows dip and from a frown. I’m confused. “What do you mean?”
Instead of explaining, he simply hands me a crumpled piece of paper. I take it from him and unfold it. When I read it, my face splits into a grin and I struggle to contain the giggle that wants to explode from my chest.
“U.O.ME,” I read out aloud. “Signed, Cameron Argent.”
It’s the note he wrote after he gave me that ride to Campus. I can’t believe that was eight weeks ago. I feel like so much has happened between then and now, when in actual fact, very little has happened. Except that Cameron and I have become friends and I’ve been trying to ignore the obvious chemistry that always hums between us when we’re together. It’s in the way he smiles at me, and the way he makes me laugh, even when he’s not doing anything at all. I decide then, staring down at the silly little piece of paper, that I want to know more of Cameron Argent.
“So I’ll pick you up tomorrow night then. At your house, seven p.m. sharp.”
It’s not a question, but I can hear the hopefulness in his voice.
“Ok,” I acquiesce.
His shoulders relax and he smiles at me, only this time there’s a shyness to it that was absent before. He takes a step closer and leans down, his lips brushing my cheek.
“I can’t wait,” he says softly. He places a whisper of a kiss on my cheek and then turns to walk back in through the cafeteria doors. I stand, stunned, and slightly taken aback. Once again we had an audience but I hardly notice. In fact, I hardly notice anything else for the rest of the day until a slight panic washes over me.
I’m in trouble.
Because for the first time, I’ll have to tell someone about my daughter knowing that they’ll leave once they know.
** ** ** ** **
At quarter to seven, I walk into Ari’s room, dressed and ready. I’m wearing a dark pair of skinny jeans and a red strapless empire waist top. The cute pair of black wedges on my feet round of the outfit perfectly. My long brown hair is clipped on either side and curled at the ends, just to give it a little more bounce. My make-up is subtle, and I opted for a light pink blush, mascara and a nude lip-gloss.
Ari’s eyes light up when she see’s me and she squirms out of my grandmother’s hold to get to me. She climbs into my arms and hugs me, wrapping her arms around my neck. Her embrace does little to calm my frayed nerves. I’ve spent most of the afternoon worrying about tonight instead of getting lost in my excitement. Most girls would be feeling enlivened with nerves over a date, but all I’ve been able to think about is how I’m going to take the blow when Cameron decides we can’t be more than friends because I’m not like most girls my age. I wouldn’t be able to put him first. The little person in my arms already has that spot.
“You ready for bed, monkey?” I ask Ari, smiling at her pajama’s with all the Disney Princess’s on it.
She yawns and rests her head on my shoulders. I kiss her forehead, which feels a little warmer than usual, and lay her down on her bed, tucking her in.
“I love you,” I whisper.
She turns, giving me a shy smile. “I love you, mommy,” she whispers back.
I watch her close her eyes and switch on the night light next to her bed. I leave the door open slightly and head downstairs. My grandmother is drying the dishes when I walk into the kitchen.
“You look beautiful, Hayley,” she says warmly.
“Thank you,” I reply. “But I’m nervous.”
“I can tell,” she chuckles. “You look about ready to throw up.”
I look down, staring at my feet. My grandmother’s hands lift my face and she looks at me, her eyes shining bright with love and understanding. “You’re worried about telling him about Arianna,” she states. I forgot that this woman sometimes has a direct line to my thoughts.
I nod, biting my lip.
“Hayley, honey, you have to be honest with him, and if he’s the man God chooses for you and Arianna, then you’ll know. It will take a special kind of man to open his heart to both of you and when you meet him, your heart will know.”
I sigh. “But Gama, what if I want him to be that guy?” I ask earnestly.
“Unfortunately, it doesn’t always work that way, sweetheart. Sometimes the people we want are not the people chosen for us. But you never know, he might just surprise you.”
Just then the doorbell rings.
“Enjoy your night, darling girl. And whatever happens, let it. You deserve this night out.”
“Thank you,” I breathe, swallowing back my urge to cry. I’m scared but I don’t have the courage to admit it out aloud.
I open the door and feel my heart jump into my throat.
“Wow,” Cameron says. “You look amazing.”
I blush at his compliment.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I reply. I peruse his body slowly. His whitewashed jeans fit him perfectly. They’re a sharp contrast to the cargo shorts he had on earlier. His navy blue button down shirt shows off his chest and the sleeves, rolled up to his elbows, accentuate his forearms and show off the hint of the tattoos that are showing. The navy blue also makes his eyes look brighter.
“Are you ready to go?” he asks.
I nod and grab my purse, shutting the door behind me. He rests his hand on the hollow of my lower back and leads me to his truck. He opens the door, helping me inside and then walks around to the driver’s side. He starts the ignition and pulls away from the curb.
“So, where are you taking me Mr. Argent?” I’m curious and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t expecting the ‘fancy restaurant’ cliché.
Cameron grins, looking at me from the corner of his eye. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you Miss. Tanner. And that would be a crying shame, especially with you looking so gorgeous tonight.”
Again, his compliment catches me off guard and even though he’s laying the charm on thick, I like how it makes me feel. Tonight may be the only night like this that I get with him so I’m going to enjoy it, live it and store it in my memory box, to look back on and remember.
Smiling shyly, and say, “Thank you,” and look away.
“We’re here,” Cameron states. If I’m not mistaken there’s some excitement in his voice.
We’ve stopped outside a palatial sized house and suddenly I’m the one overcome with nerves. Is this his house? Am I about to meet his parents? Oh dear, this can’t be happening.
He hops out and meets me on the passenger side of his truck, taking my hand and helping me out. Wordlessly, he leads me to the front door and unlocks it. The foyer is huge, with two matching marble staircases on either side. There’s a long passage to my left, and ahead of me is a cinema-sized living room, with plush leather couches that fill the large space perfectly. It is exquisite to say the least and while I’ve been privy to seeing the inside of houses much like this in my old life, as I like to call it, this house oozes warmth, and hominess. It is obvious that this house is lived in and houses an actual family, instead of ‘occupants’. Cameron locks the door behind me and then continues to lead me further into the house until we’re in the kitchen. My feet cement themselves to the tiles floors when I see that a dinner for two has been set up on the island in the center of the kitchen, complete with candles and beautifully laid out silverware.
“Wow,” I breathe. “This is…” I trail off.
“Surprised?” Cameron asks next to me. The look of worry on his face is faint, but I see it.
“Very,” I reply. “But I love it.”
He grins, revealing those sexy dimples. “Good.”
We walk into the kitchen until we’re standing next to the island. “Are your parents home?” I ask nervously. I find it strange that he’d bring me home and introduce me to his parents on first date but I’ll just go with it.
He chuckles, saying, “I don’t live here.”
Oh. Now I’m very confused. “But I thought…”
“No,” he replies, shaking his head slightly. “This is Hannah and Noah’s house. They let me use it for our date tonight.”
Hannah and Noah live here? Huh. I never expected that since they’re very unassuming about their wealth. I like them even more, if that’s possible.
“Now, if you’d take a seat, I will pour you some sparkling wine and get dinner started.”
“You’re cooking for me?” I ask. I flush when I realize how shocked I sound. But truthfully I can’t help it. Cameron doesn’t look like he knows his way around a kitchen but I’m intrigued enough to hope that he’ll prove me wrong.
“Yes,” he replies, chuckling again. Relief floods me when my shock is met with humor instead of defensiveness. “I am preparing out meal this evening, Miss. Tanner.”
I laugh when he mimics the voice of a waiter, noting the playfulness with which he’s said it. His nerves seem to have disappeared and been replaced with an easiness I’ve never seen him before.
“What will you be making me, Mr. Argent?” I tease. “Grilled cheese sandwiches.”
Cameron brings a hand to his chest and gasps, feigning hurt. “I will tell you right now that I make a mean grilled cheese sandwich, but no, I’m pulling out all the stops.”
“Don’t tell me, you’re adding peanut butter to it, for that extra kick.”
Cameron’s nose scrunches up. “You eat peanut butter with your grilled cheese sandwiches?”
No, but my daughter does, I say in my head. “No,” I laugh. “But now I’m curious to see what you’ll be making me.”
He grins, “You’ll have to wait and see.”
With that he turns around and wraps an apron around his waist and slips it over his head, tying it around his neck. He sets to work pulling pots and pans from drawers, placing everything he’ll need within reaching distance. I make myself useful and pour us each a glass of sparkling red wine. I take a sip, enjoying the sweet taste. It’s delicious.
“So why are we having dinner here and not at a restaurant?” I ask.
Cameron starts slicing mushrooms and peppers as he answers me, “Because that’s exactly what you were expecting.”
He’s certainly got me there. I shrug. “I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect to be honest. I was coerced into coming on this date.” My tone takes on a teasing quality and I playfully roll my eyes to show my false exasperation.
Cameron accidentally drops the knife that was in his hand and looks at me. “I can take you home, if you don’t want to be here.” He’s serious. Worry flits across his eyes and I immediately feel guilty for putting it there, for making him think that I don’t want to be here.
Giving him a warm, reassuring smile, I reply, “There’s no other place I’d rather be.”
It’s only half a lie, because as enthralled as I am being here with Cameron, my thoughts are never far away from the two year old angel tucked away safely in her bed. But he doesn’t know about her yet and I can’t deny that I’m enjoying a night out of the house.
His shoulders relax and he continues cutting and slicing. He does it with speed and precision, as if he’s done this before. He looks like a chef.
“You enjoy this,” I state. It’s on his face, the way he moves around the kitchen.
Cameron’s lips tilt into a half-smile but he’s eyes don’t look up. “I love it,” he replies.
“Then why are you studying Business Management?”
He sighs. “Because I’m supposed to take over my father’s construction company once I graduate.”
“Is that what you want or what your parents want?”
Cameron shrugs, looking uncomfortable, and I get the impression that this topic is better left untouched. The mood has sombred slightly and I don’t like it. I want the relaxed, fun Cameron back. I stand up and join Cameron in front of the stove where he’s started mixing ingredients.
“Taste this,” he says, lifting a wooden spoon to my mouth. His eyes follow my mouth as it wraps around the tip of the spoon.
“Oh wow,” I say. “That’s delicious. What is it?”
I lick my lips and Cameron’s eyes darken. “Caramelized onion and honey sauce.”
He goes back to mixing ingredients and then takes out four foil packages from the oven. I watch him open them, my mouth watering when the divine scent floats around us. Nestled inside each foil packet is a grilled chicken breast, stuffed with feta cheese and spinach. My stomach growls and Cameron and I both laugh.
“Take a seat,” he instructs, coming around the island. He places a chicken breast on my plate, drizzling some of the caramelized onion and honey sauce over it, and then dishes up a mushroom and sweet pepper risotto. Once he’s placed food on his own plate, he takes out a fresh garden salad from the fridge.
“This looks amazing, Cam,” I praise. I see a faint color in his cheeks and stifle a giggle. He’s blushing?
“Thank you,” he mumbles. “I’ve never cooked dinner for anyone but my mom.”
My eyes widen in surprise. “Really?”
“Really. Why does that surprise you?”
Shrugging sheepishly, I reply, “I guess I thought that this was regular thing, that you did this on all of your ‘dates’”.
Now it’s Cameron who looks sheepish. “No, you’re the first.”
“Oh.” I take a sip of my sparkling wine hoping it will calm the nerves dancing around in my belly. So far, nothing has been what I expected and I’m not sure how I feel about all of it. It suddenly feels like more than just another date.
Cameron cuts into his chicken breast and I follow his cue. When the tender meat hits my taste buds, the mixture of it all leaves an explosion of flavors on my taste buds. “Oh my God,” I moan. “This is really amazing, Cam. Where did you learn to cook like this?”
“I started when I was fifteen, and kind of taught myself. My mom had to fight to get me out of the kitchen.”
“You must’ve been really stubborn as a kid,” I joke. “I bet you drove your parents crazy half the time.”
“I have an older sister who set the precedent when we were kids, I just followed in her lead.”
“You have an older sister?”
“Yes,” he replies. “Candice. I was a bit of an accident so Candice and I are about eight years apart. She has a two year old, Jordan, and she and her husband, Brett, are expecting their second baby soon. I don’t know who’s more excited though, Candice or my mom, because it’s a girl.”
“And your dad? Is he excited?” I ask.
Cameron’s face darkens and his excitement dwindles. “No,” I say softly. “He’s not really…around.”
Putting my hand over his, I squeeze. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean - “
“Don’t worry about it,” he cuts me off. We look down at where my hand touches his and for a second I wonder if he can feel the chemistry, pulsating around us like a live wire. His eyes meet mine and they darken. He’s definitely feeling it. He holds my hand and we continue to eat, chatting animatedly about mundane things yet never feeling bored. I was worried that it would feel awkward, having become close friends over the last few weeks and then exploring the possibility of there being ‘more’ between us. But it’s not. In fact, it’s easy, and comfortable, and what scares me even more is that it feels right, natural.
“How was it?” Cameron asks anxiously.
Giggling, I retort, “My moaning between bites wasn’t enough of a giveaway?”
“No, that was just sexy as hell and a very big distraction.”
I stand to meet Cameron at the sink where he rinses off our dirty dishes and stop next to him. “Well,” I say, stretching onto my toes. “It was the most amazing food I’ve ever had the pleasure of tasting and knowing that you went to so much effort to make our first date so special made it even better.” I kiss him on the cheek and allow my lips to linger as I murmur a “thank you” against his skin. He drops the dishes, making a loud clang, but neither of us notices. He faces me, stunning me with his beautiful face adorning those dimples. “You’re welcome,” he replies, his voice husky. After a minute of silence goes by, he speaks. “Hayley?”
“Hmmm?”
“Can I kiss you?”
My heart stutters. I never imagined Cameron asking for a kiss, I thought he would just take it. Something about him asking me endears him to me, softening that bad boy exterior.
I nod and Cameron wraps an arm around my waist, not worried about the soapy water dripping from his hands. It could be muddy water for all I care. Nothing will stop this kiss from happening.
He steps into me, our lips touching lightly before his mouth consumes mine. His lips are gentle at first, but when my tongue darts out to meet his it sparks a hunger, not only in Cameron but in me too. Our tongues dance and Cameron’s grip tightens. My hands hold onto his biceps for support because my knees feel weak and it’s like I’m floating on air. I know it’s not normal for two people to share a kiss like this on their first date but if this were to become more then I’ll have to both acknowledge and accept that nothing about us would be normal. I’m a nineteen-year-old mother to a two year old and Cameron is the school playboy. We’ve already broken several rules according to society, why not obliterate one more.
We break apart and Cameron gives me one last chaste peck before resting his forehead on mine. “I didn’t bring you here for that,” he says quietly. “But I’m glad it happened.”
I smile. “I know, and I’m pretty sure I wanted it as badly as you did.”
“Dessert?” he asks. His eyes are bright and I can’t help but wonder if I’m seeing into his soul.
“I thought that was it?” I tease. I purse my lips. “That’s going to be a tough act to follow.”
“Even with homemade peppermint crisp mousse and chocolate soufflé?”
Before I can reply, my phone goes off, effectively killing our little moment. “You answer that,” Cameron says, kissing my neck. “And I’ll finish cleaning up and get dessert ready.”
I slip out of his grasp and walk briskly to where my purse is. When I remove my phone from my purse, my grandmother’s number is flashing on the screen. I frown, a feeling of panic sinking into my belly. She would only phone me if something were wrong. I don’t like this.
“Hello?”
My grandmother’s words fly out of her mouth rapidly, so fast I almost don’t catch everything she’s saying. “OhHayleyI’mTakingAriToTheHospital - ”
I cut her off. “Wait, Gama, slow down,” I say. “I can’t hear what you’re saying.”
Her inhalation on the other end is sharp, and wobbly, like it’s filled with tears. “I’ve taken Ari to the hospital,” she says, her voice cracking. “You need to come.”
Fear grips me, sucking the air from my chest and wrapping around my throat. I can’t breathe and I feel a panic attack coming on. Stay calm, I chant to myself, over and over again. The line goes dead and it’s then that I notice Cameron standing next to me.
“Hospital,” I say robotically. “Please, I need to go to the hospital. Now.”
He nods and we head out to his truck, our dessert forgotten. The ten-minute drive is silent and I can tell Cameron wants to ask me what’s going on, but I can’t tell him. Right now all I’m thinking about is my little girl and it only proves why Cameron and I can’t be more than friends. Because Ari will always come first.
Cameron has barely stopped his truck when I jump out and run into reception. I don’t stop to see if he’s followed me, I simply tell the nurse who it is I’m looking for and follow her directions. I burst into the emergency room and spot Ari and my grandmother in the corner. I rush when I see Ari screaming and writhing in pain and push the doctor aside to get to her.
“It’s ok, baby girl,” I soothe, wrapping her unusually hot body in my arms. Her screams don’t subside and my inability to calm her down brings tears to my eyes. Her hands push me and I look down at her. Her face is red and tear stained, and her screams continue. “What’s wrong?” I ask the doctor, not bother to get a name. It’s a young woman, her blue scrubs indicating that she’s an E.R doctor.
“Miss. Tanner, it would appear that your daughter has appendicitis. It’s not uncommon for someone her age, but what concerns me is her high fever and slightly swollen belly. That could mean that her appendix has burst.”
“You have a daughter?”
We all spin our heads around. Cameron is standing behind the doctor, a look of shock and disbelief on his face. Instead of responding I look back at the doctor and ask, “What do we do?”
“The best solution would be to have an ultra-sound, to determine the severity of the condition and then possibly schedule an emergency appendectomy. The operation is about an hour long but we can have her prepped for an ultra-sound while you fill out the paperwork. Once we know the result of that, we can determine whether or not she will need surgery, but given her current state, surgery looks like our best form of treatment. ”
I nod, “Okay.”
The doctor scurries off and my grandmother takes Ari from me. I hesitantly let her go but I need to chat to Cameron. This is not how I envisioned myself telling him about Ari but now I have no other choice.
“I can explain,” I say, walking to where he’s still standing.
“Explain what exactly Hayley? How you can have a kid at nineteen or how you failed to mention it until now?” His voice comes out harsh and if it weren’t for my need to defend my actions I would flinch. But I don’t. I meet his anger and shocked expression head-on with a glare of my own.
“This is why I didn’t want to tell you, because I knew you would judge me.”
“Don’t turn this around on me Hayley. Were you even going to tell me?”
I look down. He’s caught me. “That’s what I thought,” he sighs.
A fresh bout of tears hit me and I look at Cameron through blurred eyes. “I had no idea how to tell you, but I would’ve told you tonight anyway.” I wipe a few stray tears. “I knew it would change things, so I thought if I got one date with you it would be enough…” my words trail off. I sound pathetic, but no matter which way you look at it rejection still sucks and I hope Cameron will be considerate enough to do this subtly. I’m certain that I’m not crying because of him but he doesn’t know that. I bet he’s looking at me and thinking that his impending dismissal of me is what has me so emotional. Too bad it is in fact a contribution to how overwhelmed I feel.
“You could’ve told me that before I asked you out,” he says coldly. “I wouldn’t have gone through so much trouble.”
I rear back as if he’s physically slapped me. “You’re saying that if you’d known about me having a child before, you wouldn’t have asked me out?”
“Well no, I just meant - ”
I put my hand up to silence him. “I’ve heard enough Cameron,” I bite out, grinding my jaw. “You can leave.”
I turn to leave but Cameron grabs my arm, forcing me to face him. “Hayley, wait, that all came out wrong.”
I laugh bitterly, ignoring the sting in my chest. “No Cam, it came out perfectly. I don’t know why but I wanted to believe that things would turn out differently. I should’ve known you’d react this way,” I pause. “For what it’s worth though, I had a nice evening. Goodbye Cameron.”
I turn my back and feel his hands slide down my arm as I walk away. I don’t look back, despite the need I feel to look at him one last time.
This is what being a mother is all about, putting your baby’s needs before your own.
Even when it hurts.