My Not So Perfect Life

How r u getting on? x

I emit a tiny whimper. My legs are moving on autopilot. I’m her only hope right now. I can’t tell her the plan is wrecked. I have to come up with something else. Go to the recycling bin and search? But it all gets taken away on Tuesday night. Get into Sarah’s computer and find some evidence there? But how can I do that in front of Hannah? And how would I guess her password?

Come on, Katie. Think. Think…

And then it hits me. The Blue Bear. Sarah will be there right now. She might say something off guard. If I can just get her to chat, if I can just get her to relax and trust me…

Gathering up all my resolve, I take out my phone and send a text to Demeter:

Going a bit off-piste. x

Not that I have ever skied in my life—how could I afford to ski?—but she’ll get the reference.



Immediately she sends back a reply:

What???

But I thrust my phone away and ignore it. I can’t get into conversation now. I have to concentrate.



As I enter the beery, noisy atmosphere of the Blue Bear, I see Rosa and Sarah standing at the bar, and my stomach swoops with nerves.

“Cat?” Sarah notices me at once. “Cat! Oh my God!”

After all my conversations with Demeter, I’d started to imagine Sarah almost as a demon. But of course she’s not. She’s the same pretty Sarah, red hair tied back, blue eyes neatly lined, and white teeth flashing in a broad smile.

“Look, Rosa, it’s Cat!” she’s saying. She holds out her arms wide and so does Rosa, and the next minute we’re all hugging like the oldest of friends.

“How are you?” Sarah keeps saying. “We’ve missed you!”

I feel a bit overwhelmed at their welcome. I thought everyone would have forgotten about me. But here they are, genuinely interested in me and my life, and it’s…well. It’s nice.

Even though Cat feels like an alien word now.

“What are you doing here?” Rosa wants to know, and I shrug carelessly.

“I was in the area and I remembered you always have drinks on a Wednesday.”

“You never came to that, did you?” Sarah gives me a sharp look. “But we asked you.”



“So, where are you working now?” Rosa demands, and I feel a trickle of humiliation.

“I’m not. At least, not in branding, not at the moment. I’m actually…I’m working in Somerset, on a farm.”

The aghast expressions on their faces would make me laugh if I didn’t feel so mortified. I hadn’t thought it would affect me so badly: me standing here with no job, while they still luxuriated in theirs. But it’s not a great feeling. In fact, to be honest, if it weren’t for Demeter I’d probably make an excuse right now and leave.

“Cat.” Rosa looks genuinely upset. “That’s terrible. You’re really talented.”

“Which Demeter never noticed,” says Sarah, and squeezes my arm. “Bitch.”

“How is Demeter?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

“Oh my God, you don’t know.” A flicker of triumph runs over Sarah’s face. “She’s been fired!”

“No!” I clap a hand over my mouth with a gasp—and, actually, I am a bit shocked. Because of course she hasn’t been fired, not properly, not yet. But obviously the story is that she’s gone.

“I know!” Sarah flashes her little white teeth again. “Isn’t it great? Everything’s going to change. Rosa’s going to run the department, like she should have done in the first place.” She puts an arm round Rosa and gives her a hug.

“Well.” Rosa gives a modest shrug. “We don’t know that. I’ll be running it while they decide what to do.”

“And then they’ll give it to you!” insists Sarah. “You should always have got that job. There’ll be a completely different atmosphere in the department. No more bloody drama.”



“So, why was Demeter fired?” I ask warily.

“Try everything.” Sarah rolls her eyes. “You know what she’s like. Finally Adrian was like, OK, I get it. She’s a demented cow. She has to go.”

“Hey.” Rosa has been quiet, thinking hard. “Cat. Did you know that Flora’s leaving?”

“Really?” I say in surprise. “No, I had no idea. We kind of lost touch. Where’s she going?”

“Traveling. She’s leaving in a month. So…” She looks expectantly at me.

“So?”

“So, how do you feel about applying for her job?”

I feel a bolt of disbelief. Apply for Flora’s job?

“Oh yes!” Sarah exclaims in delight. “Perfect idea! What a good thing you walked in here, Cat!”

“It would be a better salary than you had before,” says Rosa. “I know you’re up to it, Cat. I’ve seen your work. And I’ll tell you something: I’m not like Demeter. I want to help people develop. You have a great future, you know that?”

There’s a weird kind of humming in my head. Nothing feels quite real. A job. A better salary. A great future. I mean, if Demeter didn’t get her job back…if Rosa did want me to work for her…I have to give myself the best chance in life, don’t I?

I’m squirming inside. I feel like an octopus tied up in knots, being pulled in different directions.

The barman has placed three glasses and a bottle of champagne on the bar, and Rosa pays for it, then turns to me.

“Come on,” she says. “Have a drink with us. We always go in that little back room. Flora’s there already.”



“We don’t always have champagne on Wednesdays,” adds Sarah, with a twinkle. “But, ding-dong, the witch is dead!”

In my pocket, my phone begins to buzz. It feels as if Demeter is nudging me, and instantly my brain snaps into place with a tweak of guilt. What have I been thinking? There aren’t two options here, there’s only one: Do the right thing. I blink at Sarah and Rosa, trying to get my ideas straight, trying to find a way into the conversation.

“You must have found it so difficult, working for Demeter!” I say to Sarah. “Did you ever feel like…I don’t know…getting revenge in any tiny way?”

Sarah gives me a clear blue look. “What do you mean?”

My stomach flips at her expression. Has she guessed? No. She couldn’t have done. But I need to prove I’m on her side, quick.

“Well, you’ll never believe it…” I try to sound natural and chatty. “But Demeter turned up at my family’s farm on holiday. And I got my own back on her for everything! Look!”

I wince inwardly as I reach for my phone. Demeter would really not be happy if she knew I was sharing a photo of her, all spread-eagled and muddy in the swamp. But, on the other hand, I can’t think of a better way of gaining Sarah’s trust.

“No!” exclaims Sarah as she sees it. “That’s priceless! We have to hear all about it! Will you send that picture to me?”

“Of course I will!” I answer lightly. Never in a million years.

“You’re quite something, Cat!” says Sarah, as Rosa grabs the phone to have a look. “We could have done with your help.” She puts an arm around me and gives me a swift hug.

“Let’s go,” says Rosa, and motions to me to pick up the glasses. “Grab another one of those. Flora will be waiting.”





It’s one of those pubs with little rooms and passages and steps everywhere. We head down a shabby corridor painted dark red, with old prints of London views lining the walls. Then at the end Rosa opens a door into a small bare-boarded room with squashy sofas and bookshelves holding old paperbacks.

“Wooo!” Flora greets Rosa with a whoop and a fist pump. “Champagne! About bloody right!”

“And look who we found in the bar?” says Sarah, gesturing at me.

“Cat!” Flora squeals, and zooms over to wrap me in a hug. “I’ve missed you! This is so cool!”

“Ding-dong, the witch is dead!” exclaims Sarah again, popping open the bottle of champagne. “At last!”

“Here’s to that,” says Flora fervently.

“And look what Cat has been getting up to!” Sarah grabs my phone and shows Flora the picture of Demeter in the mud. “You didn’t tell me you’d recruited a country branch of DA!”

“Oh my God.” Flora’s eyes widen, and she bursts into peals of laughter. “Oh my God! Cat, you’re a genius!”

“DA?” I echo lightly. “What’s that?”

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