“Here is what I want,” she says. “I want you to stop fucking other women. If you leave town, I want you to take me with you. If we go to a party, I want you to stay by my side until I feel comfortable being by myself. And tonight I want you to buy me a steak dinner because I am so fucking sick of eating rice and beans.”
“Yes,” says Carter. “I can do that. Where are you? I will come and find you right now, and we will go and eat steak.”
“I’m in Tompkins Square Park.”
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes. I love you. I’m going to kiss you as soon as I see you.”
“OK.”
She hangs up her cell. The next kiss I get will be the best one of my entire life, she thinks. It will never be better than this moment. But I will have it, I will have this moment. It will be mine.
10.
IT IS NIGHT NOW, and Sarah Lee sits and waits for love.
Acknowledgments
PORTIONS OF THIS BOOK appeared in Pindeldyboz (“The Perfect Triangle”) and Bullfight Review (“Instant Love”). “He Gives Pause” was originally released as a zine, and I thank Joni Rentz and Dave Savage for their visual contributions to it.
I also enthusiastically thank: Josh Abraham, Sarah Balcomb, and Paul McLeary for their thoughtful readings of early and late drafts; Bernie Boscoe and John Levenstein for their generous provision of the time and space to write; Megan Lynch and Whitney Pastorek for their enthusiasm and support; Cinde Boutwell and Kerri Mahoney for putting up with all my crap; Doug Stewart for guiding me through this process with such care; and Sally Kim for her exceptional patience and wisdom.
As always, love to my family.
About the Author
JAMI ATTENBERG’S work has appeared in Salon, Nylon, Print, Pindeldyboz, the San Francisco Chronicle, and Time Out New York. She lives in Brooklyn, New York. Visit her at jamiattenberg.com.