Oh, how I fly.
A new necklace rests on my neck now, identical to the one around Wren’s. We performed the ceremony ourselves, writing our hopes for each other on leaves of paper before sealing them within. We don’t need to wait for the pendants to open. We don’t need to see what’s inside to know it’s something beautiful, something full of love and promise, because isn’t that all we truly wish for the ones we love?
When I initially suggested we redo our Birth-blessings, Wren wasn’t sure, since neither of us are newborns and we already know the fates first given to us. But I managed to convince her. After all, that was a lifetime ago, and if all we’ve been through has taught us anything, it’s that it is never too late to start over.
It is never too late for new dreams.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
I’VE TALKED IN THE FIRST TWO books about how personal this trilogy is to me—and how much it means to me that it’s become personal to so many of you. I feel endlessly privileged to hear your stories of drawing courage and kinship from me and the girls. I hope I’ve represented us well in this book, too.
While continuing to explore issues of sexual abuse, physical and emotional trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder, unhealthy coping mechanisms, racism, sexuality, and misogyny, in Girls of Fate and Fury there’s another matter highly personal to me: disability.
As with those other topics, I can only write from my own experience, which is as a disabled person with an incurable degenerative genetic condition, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Having always lived with pain and illness, my perspective is different from Nitta’s and Wren’s, Blue’s and Aoki’s, and Naja’s and the King’s sudden injuries, but the sense of having lost something, of dealing with a diminishing of one’s ability and self, is painfully familiar to me. EDS is a cruel condition that robs more from me with each passing day. I didn’t want to minimize the bitterness and torment this can bring, but I also wanted to show that disability is not all defining. Yes, I am my illness, but I am so much more besides. I hope this came through, especially with Nitta’s character (oh, how I love her).
A final message about the main themes of Girls. So much of this trilogy is about reclaiming oneself: after abuse; after manipulation; after toxic relationships; after others have imposed their expectations and demands upon you. That’s what my experience with sexual and emotional violence has ultimately come down to. How to define myself confidently once others have forced their own definitions upon me—or taken others away. How to come back to myself in the aftermath of trauma.
That’s the journey the Paper Girls have to take now. It’s one I’ll continue making myself. I hope that those of you undertaking it have an abundance of love, patience, kindness, strength, and support.
And wings. I think we could all do with some of those.
If you are the victim of sexual, emotional, or physical abuse, please consider speaking to a trusted adult, or contacting one of the following resources if you need to seek help anonymously.
Crisis Text Line Text: HOME to 741741
Info and chat: crisistextline.org Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline Call: 1-900-622-HELP
Info: samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) Call: 1-800-656-HOPE
Chat: online.rainn.org
Info: rainn.org
Love Is Respect—National Dating Abuse Hotline for Teens Call: 1-866-331-9474
Text: LOVEIS to 22522
Info and chat: loveisrespect.org National Domestic Violence Hotline Call: 1-800-799-SAFE
Text: START to 88788
Info and chat: thehotline.org
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
WHEW. THIS TRILOGY HAS BEEN A journey. Though not nearly as grueling as Lei and Wren’s, it has still been an epic few years, with physical and mental battles fought, friendships forged, teams built and broken, loves gained and lost, triumphs and failures, new homes and new dreams, a literal Sickness sweeping the globe, and my own share of life-threatening moments. But like Wren and Lei, I survived. And like them, I have so many to thank.
My new team at Little, Brown Books for Young Readers, for welcoming these books with warmth and passion, especially Alexandra Hightower. We turned this book around in mere weeks, and it was only possible due to your sharp editorial eye, fortitude, and hustle. My UK team at Hodder, for also getting these books through difficult circumstances. Molly Powell: thank you for taking the reins so adeptly. To everyone at Hachette on both sides of the Atlantic for all you’ve done for these books: every good thing that’s happened with them is because of you. And, always, my original Jimmy crew, for championing Girls from the start. I owe so much to you all. Jenny Bak: your vision and belief is what got us here. I’ll forever be thankful.
Taylor: for being endlessly patient and fierce and wise and kind. Every author deserves an agent like you. Love to you and everyone at Root Literary. And to Heather, for helping find Girls wonderful homes across the globe.
A huge, heartfelt thank-you to the health-care professionals who helped keep me going these past few years. Hospital trips and operations and medical tests are never fun, but I’m so grateful to the wonderful doctors, nurses, cleaners, carers, and so many more who make hospitals as comfortable as possible for not just me but all patients—especially during such heavy times.
Friends and family and fellow writers who’ve buoyed me through this adventure: I love and appreciate and admire you all. Mum and Dad: thank you for the long-distance support. I feel it always. James: knowing you is a privilege. Callum: Lei’s belief in the power of kindness has always been inspired by your sweet heart. Fab: I wish all men were like you. Chris: I’m so sorry I forgot you in book one’s acknowledgments. Here you are! (And deservedly so.) And Sara: for simply being the best.
Last, but never, in no ways, least, my eternal gratitude to you, the readers who stayed with me and the girls all this time. I write words. It’s you who make them come alive. Every letter, DM, post, tweet, review, share, article, list, display, book club, sale, library loan, panel, and podcast; just all and any instance in which you have talked about this trilogy: this is what has created a space for these books in the world. A space I was told by many couldn’t—and shouldn’t—exist. I get so many messages of thanks from readers who feel seen by my and the girls’ stories, but it’s each of you who deserves the credit.
Thank you, eight thousand times over.