I thought the two years I’d spent as Dylan McAllister’s sex slave had changed the course of my life forever. I thought I’d never be able to recover from the impact of that horrible event, but the one month I spent with Alexander Hamilton left far deeper scars. Because love hurt worse than pain and a broken heart healed slower than gashes on my skin.
He hadn’t stayed in his Paris house. He’d told me he had to let me go and he’d walked out into the night, leaving me all alone.
I hadn’t lingered. I’d made myself go online. I knew what city I was flying from, but my destination? I’d stared a long time at that webpage before I’d picked San Francisco. I didn’t want to go back to Cleveland. My mother was dead and Cleveland held nothing for me anymore.
I’d bought my ticket and made one last trip as Jenny Fullerton. On the plane, though my eyes were bleak, I didn’t cry.
***
Once the initial turmoil of emotions had passed, I started to think and one thing became crystal clear. Lucien had lied to me all along.
A few weeks after I’d been rescued in Lagos, I’d gone online eagerly, anxious to catch up with the world. But I’d stumbled upon a picture of Dylan on the front page of some website and I’d had my worst panic attack. After that, I used the Internet only when I couldn’t avoid it and I’d relied on Lucien to do all the research for our missions.
Lucien had taken advantage of that. He compiled the extremely sparse dossier for Alexander. He had to have known who he was and why he’d always been allowed access to Dylan. Even if Alexander had wanted to keep it quiet, it was too large a secret to remain completely hidden.
There had been a confrontation with Lucien. There had to be. I was furious. I was well aware that so much heartache could have been avoided with honesty. At worst, Alexander would have stood aside when he’d discovered my true mission. Lucien had set up the dynamic so that I’d look at Alexander as an adversary. He’d lied and said that Alexander’s submissives had disappeared. He’d planted the doubt in my mind that Alexander had been the one responsible for kidnapping me.
I didn’t understand why. Lucien had common cause with Alexander. I couldn’t understand why on earth he’d gone through this elaborate charade. Unless…
A chill went through me as the last tumblers clicked into place. The look of desire in Lucien’s eyes that one night in Paris. I’d kneed him in the groin and I’d run away, taking refuge in Alexander’s arms. Had Lucien known then? I didn’t know for sure, but I had my suspicions.
I had thought that that one night when Lucien had expressed lust for me had been an aberration, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was the only time when Lucien had shown me the truth. Maybe everything he’d done after that point was to keep Alexander and me apart.
I didn’t want to think about this. I had trusted Lucien. I had put my life in danger for him repeatedly. This betrayal wasn’t something we could come back from.
I confronted him and he didn’t try to deny anything. So I told him we were done. I never wanted to see him again or hear from him. I’d done what he wanted; I had killed Dylan for him.
Yet I could not pretend that my thirst for revenge had been something that Lucien had created. No. killing Dylan had been the truest desire of my heart.
But now, I didn’t know what to do with myself. For the first time, I had no target to research, no one to kill. No mission. There was a large, gaping hole in my life.
***
When I was a child, my dreams were curtailed by the circumstances of my life. I’d been a poor kid from Cleveland. The most I could ever hope for was a scholarship to go to college. Nothing more.
When Dylan took me, my dreams had turned to revenge.
But it turned out that Alexander had been right. I didn’t know who I was. I had been the poor girl. I’d been the sex slave and I’d been the assassin. But in my heart, I was none of these people. Instead, I was a blank canvas.
It killed me to admit it, but he had been right to let me go.
When the initial grief had faded and I’d admitted that truth to myself, I didn’t despair. I didn’t give into sadness. I refused to be despondent. I had my life back. I owed it to myself to find out who I could be.
I was filled with a sense of possibility and a sense of hope and as I searched to find out who I was and what I wanted to become, I made myself a promise.
One day, when I have myself all sorted out, I will find you again, Alexander and this time around, you won’t walk away. You won’t want to.
Claimed (Assassin’s Revenge Book 4) is coming May 18! Pre-order it today to get it delivered to your Kindle as soon as it is available!
The series concludes! What lies in store for Ellie and Alexander?
I’m ready to fly back to Paris and claim Alexander.
But when an unexpected enemy threatens him, I have to finally choose my loyalties. I need to pick between the man who saved me and the man who set me free.
Click here to pre-order Claimed (Assassin’s Revenge Book 4) today!