Chapter SEVEN
Alex paced in the living room, talking out his cell phone to the police about Caroline. Things didn’t sound good.
I forced the orange juice down as I half listened to him, setting my glass in the sink. I stared out the window over the kitchen sink, not really seeing anything. I hadn’t slept at all the night before, just stared up at the ceiling, lying next to a silent Alex.
I was feeling desperate. Why couldn’t I think of a way to save him? Alex had saved me, now why couldn’t I do the same thing?
“Jessica?” I heard my mom’s hesitant voice from behind me. “Could we talk for a while?”
I felt my stomach drop out and I suddenly wished I hadn’t drunk the juice. “Sure,” I managed to squeak out.
I’d known this conversation was going to come sometime during this trip but I’d started hoping that maybe we were both going to chicken out of it. Apparently my mom was braver than I was.
I followed her into the office, settling into one of the swivel chairs. She closed the door behind us and sat as well.
We just stared at each other for a while, both unsure of what to say after all this time.
“You’re so grown up now,” she said with a small smile on her lips. It didn’t quite look real. “You’re not a girl anymore. You’ve become a woman.”
I just nodded, my lips tight.
“Tell me about your life now,” she attempted to keep her voice up, trying to sound engaged and excited. “What have you been up to?”
“Um,” I struggled to talk around the lump in my throat. “Well, I’ve been in Washington for a few years now, as I’m sure dad’s told you. I’ve made a few friends. I go to a yoga class a few days a week. The instructor is my best friend. I work in a book store. I really like my boss.”
“A book store?” she said with a smile. “You did always love to read at nights.”
I swallowed hard as the subject we were both dancing around was hinted upon. “Yeah, I really like the job. I’ve been there a few months now.”
“Tell me about how you met Alex,” she said as she tucked a leg up under her.
I felt a smile crack on my lips. “Well, I was care taking what was then his grandparent’s house. It was the middle of the night and I heard the door upstairs open. I thought someone was breaking in,” I chuckled, recalling the fear that leapt through me. “I grabbed a baseball bat and nearly clobbered him in the stairway.” Mom started laughing. “I thought he was a burglar.”
“That must have scared the tar out of you,” she chuckled, covering her mouth.
“Yeah,” I said, my eyes falling to the floor between us. “And then he told me the house was his, that his grandparents had died and left everything to him. Things were a little awkward for a bit.”
“Isn’t life crazy sometimes?” Mom sighed, shaking her head slowly.
“It sure is,” I said quietly, twisting my fingers around each other.
There was a moment of quiet before she spoke again. “I’m glad to see you so happy, Jessica. At least you seem to be.”
“I am,” I said as I met her eyes.
“I just wish we could have gotten you the help you needed sooner.”
My insides hollowed out as she finally said it.
“Did you start seeing a psychologist after you left?” she asked, her voice sounding so innocent and caring.
And every fight we had had, every plead, every scream slammed into me again. It took everything I had in me to not bolt for the door.
“I didn’t need a psychologist, Mom,” I said, my voice quivering. I closed my eyes, fighting back the sting behind my eyes. I wouldn’t cry, I would not let her see me cry. Again. “I needed you to believe me.”
“Oh sweetie,” she said in a sweet tone. My eyes opened to see her concerned expression. It turned my insides hot. “I believed you believed it all. But you seem to have moved on.”
“I didn’t just move on,” I said, my voice escalating. “Things changed, but I never moved on! I couldn’t move on.”
“Calm down sweetie,” Mom said, her eyes growing wide and hard.
“No, Mom,” I practically yelled. “I will not calm down! I was stuck in hell and you wanted to pretend none of it existed!”
“That’s because it didn’t, Jessica,” she said, her tone rising too. The frustration I knew too well flooded back into her eyes.
“It was real, Mom!” I practically yelled. As I said the words, I grabbed the hem of my shirt and lifted it over my head as I stood. Wearing only my bra, I turned my back to her, the morning light coming from the window reflecting a metallic glint. “Do these look made up to you?”
I heard her gasp as she took the wings in. With one hand, I gathered my hair in one hand and pulled it away from my neck, exposing my brand. “It was real,” I half whispered.
Something that sounded like a sob escaped my mother’s chest and as I looked back at her, I saw tears glistening in her eyes.
“Why would you do that to yourself sweetie?” she asked quietly. “You’re such a beautiful young woman.”
“You think…” I stuttered. “You think I would do something like this to myself?!”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I crossed to the door, walked out, and slammed the door behind me. Amber and Rod had poked their heads out of their door, their eyes widening as they took in my nearly topless form. Rod got his first glance at my scars.
“You okay?” Amber asked quietly.
“Do I look like I’m okay?” I said sharply as I yanked my shirt back down over my head. Without waiting for her to reply, I stalked down the hall toward the back door. Yanking it open, I stepped outside, leaving the door knob bent into the shape of my hand. I was too furious to care.
I found Dad and Alex sitting on the back deck, both their eyes widening as they saw me.
“Jessica, I…” my dad started.
“She’s just so…” I started raging as I paced back and forth. “I even showed them to her and she still didn’t believe me!”
“Jessica, your mother…”
“Don’t defend her, Dad,” I said coldly as I turned my eyes on him. “Just don’t.”
I didn’t wait for either of them to say anymore as I started across the back lawn. There was an opening in the fence that let out into the back alleyway that led to a park that hadn’t gotten much use in the last decade. Walking over to the swing set, I flopped down and slowly pushed myself back and forth, the rusty chains creaking above me.
I was glad when Alex didn’t follow after me. I just wanted to be alone for a while.
I knew people judged me for leaving my family behind. They thought I had abandoned them, that I was a reckless runaway. But how was I supposed to live with a person who thought I was insane? Who wouldn’t show the slightest bit of support in the terror that filled my life?
I needed a mother to hold me while I cried, someone I could just be afraid with.
But she wasn’t that kind of mother to me.
Things felt so out of control right now. I was like I had been strapped to a rocket that was hurtling through life. I couldn’t get a grasp on everything that was happening. Maybe it was more like I had been strapped to missile. I needed to figure out how to diffuse it and fast, or everything was going to blow up. And then that would be the end.
Trying not to think about my mother, I turned everything else over and over in my head. Alex was being pulled back. He didn’t have long. I had seen what happened to Cole, the way he started falling apart and slowly faded away.
If they can’t claim you, what are you willing to do to save him?
I was willing to do anything. But I just didn’t know what I could do.
And now the council was watching me. Cole had said to hide what had happened to me. That it was the only advantage that I had against them.
How was I going to use my supposed immortality against them? How was that supposed to help me? It wasn’t like I could give my life for Alex. He was already dead, traded his life for mine.
The countdown was on but I didn’t know how many numbers were still left on the clock until this thing exploded and it was all over.
Because if Alex was taken back for forever, that would be the end.
Exhaustion washed over me as the minutes rolled by as I sat on that swing. The answers weren’t going to come to me that day.
I had probably been sitting on that swing for almost an hour when my phone suddenly started vibrating. As I pulled it out I found two text messages.
You need to get home, like now! Amber’s said.
I think you should come back right now, Dad’s read.
Great. What was going on?
I crossed the park, made my way back down the grass-filled alley, and crossed back to the house. As I walked inside, I found Amber and Rod sitting very stony faced on the living room couch, looking on edge. Alex stood in the hallway, his arms crossed over his chest, his expression very serious. My dad was at the end of the hall, knocking on his bedroom door.
“Claire?” he called. “Are you okay?”
I just heard a muffled cry from inside.
“What’s going on?” I demanded. All of their eyes turned to me.
“Alex went to talk to Mom after you left,” Amber said, her face sullen. The way her eyes were so big, I knew there was more to it than she was going to say in front of Rod and my dad.
I looked over at Alex, my eyes questioning. He just shook his head, sending the message of talk later with his eyes.
“Claire?” Dad knocked again.
“Just…” my mom struggled to talk. “Just give me a little bit. I’m… okay.”
My dad glanced back at the rest of us, his brow furrowed. He glared at Alex for a second then looked over at me. I must have looked pathetic enough for him not to yell at Alex for doing whatever he had done to her.
“I’ll be out in the garage,” he said as he turned and started back down the hall. “Come and get me if she comes out.”
As soon as my dad was out of the house Amber and Rod turned confused eyes on Alex. “Dude,” Rod said, his eyes narrowing. “What did you say to her?”
I looked back at Alex, dying to know the same thing.
“I just went to talk to her,” he started. “I said that maybe she should be a little more supportive of her daughter.”
“And that made her scream like that?” Rod asked doubtfully. “I thought you must have suddenly turned into a vampire or something the way she screamed and tore out of that room.”
My stomach sank as I started putting the pieces together.
“Mom will be fine,” I said in a small voice. Taking Alex’s hand in mine, I half dragged him out the front door. Closing it behind us, I walked him to the middle of the yard so we wouldn’t be overheard.
“What did you do?” I demanded, my eyes burning as I looked at him.
“Like I said, I told her that maybe she should be a little more supportive of you and consider that the things you told her about were true,” Alex said, his voice not even defensive.
“And?”
“And… her reaction wasn’t what I was hoping for. It was just like you said it was, only I was hearing it from her myself,” Alex’s face was sad looking. “And so…”
“And so what?” I demanded when he paused.
“I showed them to her,” Alex said quietly.
“Them?” I said through clenched teeth. “You showed her your wings?”
Alex just nodded. “She can’t really doubt anymore.” He fought back a small smile.
I just stared at him for a minute. I didn’t know what to say. This was something I had never seen coming.
She finally knew the truth. My mom might not have understood it fully, but she had to know that I wasn’t crazy anymore. She had seen it with her own eyes.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, relief flooding through my body. I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his chest. Everything inside of me felt ready to collapse. I was so tired.
“You’re welcome,” he said as he laid his cheek on the top of my head.
I sighed, breathing in the summer air. “I’m ready to go home.”
“Me too,” Alex said quietly.
The next few hours were tense and awkward as we waited for my mom to come out of her room. To pretend I wasn’t freaking out inside, I called Emily to check on Sal. She said Sal wasn’t looking too good and Emily didn’t think she’d slept at all since I’d left. I made a note to call her doctor as soon as we got back.
With little else we could do, we started packing our things back up, the mood somber and quiet. Alex and Rod hauled our things back out to the truck. Amber and Rod both had to be back to work the next day, we couldn’t stay another night to make sure Mom would be okay.
Just as the boys stepped back inside, the door to my parent’s room cracked open.
“Are you guys leaving?” Mom asked quietly as she stepped out.
“In just a few minutes,” I answered. In a way I kind of felt sorry for her. I couldn’t even imagine the shock of seeing what she had seen, having never believed this was real.
“Well, I wanted to say good-bye then,” she said as she walked into the living room. My dad walked back in from the garage then, his face looking relieved to see her.
Amber rushed forward, wrapping her arms tight around my mom’s shoulders. “We’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah,” Mom whispered back. “Congratulations again. I’m really happy for you.”
She hugged Rod next, and to my surprise, hesitantly hugged Alex. I didn’t miss the fear in her eyes though.
She looked at me with a mix of emotions in her eyes. I tried to smile as I looked back, unsure if I succeeded or not. I wrapped my arms around her loosely.
“I’m…” she started to say, her entire frame trembling. But she couldn’t seem to make herself say it.
“Bye, mom,” I said quietly. “I’ll see you in two and a half weeks?”
She just nodded as we stepped away from each other. She still looked at me with fear in her eyes. Like I was more of a freak now than I had ever been.
Wrapping up the good-byes, the four of us headed outside and loaded into the truck.
“Well, your dad didn’t shoot us,” Rod said as Alex pulled onto the street. “I guess that makes this weekend a success.”
I gave a half smile as everyone else laughed. I wasn’t sure if I would call this weekend a success or not.
Just as we were getting back into Idaho Falls a light went off in my head. “Hey get off on this exit,” I said. I then gave him a few more directions. As we pulled into the parking lot I saw a smile creep onto Alex’s face. “Um, I’m kind of going to have to borrow your card. If that’s okay?”
“Of course,” he said with a smile as he pulled out his wallet. I glanced back at Amber and saw her beaming face. I bounded back into the store by myself.
Less than fifteen minutes later we were rolling back down the freeway.