Chapter TWO
The sky started to gray over as I spent my day inside the bookstore. There was little to do as it was a Tuesday afternoon and the sky threatened to open at any moment. The hours slowly ticked by until closing, the only excitement of the day was showing Rita the ring and hearing her congratulations.
I tried not to think that there was the real possibility of telling her I was a widow so soon after the actual wedding.
After my shift ended, rain started to drizzle as I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. Alex’s black truck was already dotted with drops. I stepped inside the door, my eyes immediately finding him. He would be hard to miss. Everyone in the entrance was staring at him. Ignoring them, he gave me his dazzling smile and indicated to the hostess that we were ready to be seated.
“I always feel so weird going out like this,” I chuckled as I sat across from Alex, picking up the menu the woman had set in front of me. “You don’t eat at all and I only eat when you make me.”
“Forgive me for pretending to be normal,” he gave me a half smile. He was doing a better job than me at pretending half the restaurant wasn’t staring.
“It feels like I can hardly even remember what that is anymore,” I said with a sigh. “Normal.” Alex reached across the table and took my hand in his. As I looked into his gray eyes, I felt my throat tighten. They were just one more reminder that he wasn’t supposed to be here anymore.
“What made you change your mind?” I asked quietly. “You were so determined before.”
He gave me one more small smile before letting go of my hand and leaning back in his chair. “It was Caroline actually. We talked while you were with Cole. And I just kept thinking about how it would have been better if she had been a part of my life, even if it was just for a little while. A little while would have been better than nothing at all.
“I’m ready to move on, Jessica,” he said as his eyes burned with intensity. “I’m sorry it has taken me so long.”
“I understood your reasoning,” I said as my eyes dropped to the surface of the table. Alex’s hand was suddenly under my chin, lifting it until I looked at him again.
“Moving on?” he breathed, so much weight behind his voice.
“Moving on,” I said, pushing the knot from my stomach. We both sat back as our waitress introduced herself and brought water. I ordered a bowl of soup and a salad, Alex ordered the most expensive steak on the menu.
“You money waster,” I teased him as soon as the waitress was gone.
“Hey, it sounded good,” he said in mock defense. “If I can’t eat it I can at least look at it, right?”
I just chuckled and shook my head. “If you like torturing yourself, I guess.”
We were quite for a moment, Alex studying my face. “Don’t get mad when I bring this up, okay?” Alex said, his eyes softening.
“What?”
“I know how things were between you and your parents but we need to tell them about the engagement. In person. Especially your mom.”
My eyes dropped to the table, my hand rubbing the brand on the back of my neck without thinking about it. “I don’t know if that is a good idea.”
“She’s your mother, Jessica,” he said in a low voice. “I know she hurt you in the past but it’s time to let that past go. You haven’t talked to her in how long?”
“Five years,” I answered quietly, recalling the day I overheard her talking to the mental institution, the day she decided to have me committed.
“I want to meet her. I can’t be married to someone and never meet my own mother-in-law.”
“Alex, she…”
“We’re moving on, remember?” he cut me off.
“Moving on,” I said quietly. If Alex could forgive his mother, who had abandoned him completely for his entire life, couldn’t I forgive the woman who had raised me? She had been there for me, for everything else in my life. She’d just been trying to help me.
And really, who could blame her for the things she had done? I had thought I was crazy myself at times.
“Okay,” I answered, looking Alex in the eye. “We’ll go out to Ucon.”
“Really?” he asked excitedly.
“We’re moving on with life,” I said, my insides all twisted up. “I have a few days off next week. I’ll call my dad tonight and let him know we’re coming.”
“I can’t wait,” he said, giving me a sly smile. I just glared at him. “Hey, maybe it won’t be as bad as you think it will be.”
“I think it will be exactly as bad as I think it will be,” I said sarcastically. “Anyway, we should probably talk to Amber and Rod about going out with us. Dad still hasn’t met him and I don’t think he was too happy with Amber for waiting so long to tell him she was already engaged.”
“Not a bad idea,” Alex said as he dug his cell phone out of his pocket. “I’ll ask him about it right now.”
I pulled my own out, and clumsily set to texting Amber.
I heard the clatter, the sound of someone tripping over a purse set on the floor, the sound of dishes flying off of their tray.
And the next second I felt the searing pain of the steak knife embedding itself into the fleshy space where my shoulder connected to the rest of my body.
It happened so fast, I didn’t have time to react. Alex leapt across the table, pulling me into his arms, a look of horror filling his face. Just as I felt his body tense to flee before anyone could even see what had happened, I shook my head, grabbing the handle of the knife and yanked it out.
I barely contained the scream that threatened to rip from my body. Instead, I pushed Alex away, breathing out “Sit back down.”
Confusion crossed his face but the next moment he was back in his seat, across the table from me.
A total of less than two seconds had probably passed.
My entire front was covered in the scalding hot soup as the waitress landed on her hands and knees, her feet still tangled in the straps of the purse. A dozen pairs of eyes turned in our direction as the room fell silent. I realized then that the knife was still clenched in my right hand. I hoped no one noticed as I dropped it into my lap.
“Oh my…” the waitress started to apologize as she scrambled to get to her feet. “I am so, so sorry! Are you alright?!”
I looked across the table to Alex, who stared wide-eyed at the already disappeared cut in my exposed flesh.
“I’m…” I struggled for words. “I’m fine. I think we’re going to go though. I kind of need to change.”
Alex stood before she could even respond, grabbed my hand and was hauling me toward the front door. I glanced back just once, meeting the eyes of nearly every person in the restaurant.
Alex opened the passenger door to the truck, and picking me up around the waist, not so gently sat me on the seat before closing the door. He stalked around the front, shaking his head as his brow furrowed. He pulled the driver’s door open and slid in next to me.
He turned those gray eyes on me, his stare not quite cold, but definitely not lovingly.
“What. Happened. In there?” he said slowly but deliberately.
I struggled with what to say, my mind racing over everything.
I had never told Alex about how Cole had tested his theory. The theory that I was stuck, that I was neither fully dead, nor fully alive. That I could never move on to the afterlife. The afterlife Alex was soon going to be pulled into.
“You’d better say something Jessica, because I’m freaking out over here if you haven’t noticed!”
“Okay, okay!” I half shouted, closing my eyes for just a moment to collect myself. “You know there’s something different about me, more different than before you… died. You’ve seen how I can do things I shouldn’t be able to. When Cole and I talked, he told me some things. What you saw back there, that’s just the beginning of it.”
And then I told him. The full story of what had happened that week I spent with Cole in his abandoned, ruined mansion.
I told him how I hadn’t changed at all since he had died. I hadn’t aged one second. Alex had already seen some of the evidence of my apparent indestructability. I’d survived the car crash with Austin, I’d survived Cole’s own knife, in a much deadlier place.
I confirmed what Alex had already suspected. That I was already eighty percent the same as he was: an angel.
But I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the never moving on part. Admitting that I couldn’t die was more than I could handle.
As I finished, I leaned back in the seat, my eyes never leaving Alex’s face. He sat there silent for what felt like a very long time.
“Okay,” he said quietly.
“Okay?” I finally breathed. I hadn’t realized that I had been holding my breath.
“Okay,” he said, nodding his head. He reached across the middle seat and took my hand in his. “Let’s move on.”
I just smiled. “Well, if you’re really okay, I think I’m going to get off your seat before I ruin it with all the gunk on me.”
Alex cracked a smile, his eyes slightly glazed-over looking. His mind was obviously still on all the secrets I had just spilled.
“Are you going to be okay to drive home?” I asked doubtfully.
“Yeah,” he answered, shaking his head. His eyes snapped to my face, his expression clearing. “Yeah, I’ll see you at home in a minute.”
“’K,” I chuckled, pressing a kiss to his cheek before hopping down from the truck.
I didn’t think to check my phone for Amber’s reply to my text until I got back to the house and found it empty. She had replied “if I have to” to my suggestion to return to Idaho and with another text that she and Rod were going apartment hunting that night and that they’d be back pretty late.
After changing into clean clothes, I settled into the swing on the lower back deck and held the phone in my slightly shaking hands. Slowly, pushing each button very deliberately, I dialed my dad’s cell phone number.
“Hello?” he answered after only two very short feeling rings.
“Hi,” I said simply, my mind suddenly blanking.
“Who’s this?” he asked.
“It’s me, Dad, Jessica.”
“Hey kid!” he replied excitedly. I couldn’t help but smile. “I didn’t recognize this number.”
“Yeah, it’s my new cell phone.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked. “You don’t exactly call often.”
“I’m sorry, I know I promised I would call more. I was just wondering if you were busy next weekend?”
“Why? What’s up?” his voice was hesitant.
“Um, Alex and I were kind of thinking about coming out there.”
There was silence for nearly thirty seconds. “Dad? You still there?”
“Yeah, I’m here. Of course,” he recovered. “I’d love to see you again. But, Jess, are you sure about this? I mean, your mom’s going to be here.”
“I know,” I said quietly. A faint breeze picked up off the water sending goosebumps flashing across my skin. “Like you said, she’s still my mom, and I hope I’m still her daughter. I think it’s time to move on.”
My dad was quiet again for a moment and even through the phone I could sense the emotion he was feeling. I felt the back of my own throat tighten. “Yeah, it is,” my dad said with a scratchy voice.
“Let Mom know, will you? I don’t want this to be a total shocker to her when I show up at the house.”
“Okay.”
“Oh yeah, I think we’re bringing Amber and Rod with us.”
“Wow, it’s like Christmas came in September!” he chuckled. “Getting both of my girls back home.”
“I’ll see you soon, ‘k, Dad?”
“Alright, I love you kid.”
“Love you too, Dad.”
Just as I hung up the phone, the door to my apartment opened and Alex stepped out. He stood there in the warm late summer air in just a pair of basketball shorts, his flawless skin glowing in the moonlight.
There was nothing quite like the sight of Alex shirtless.
“How’d it go?” he asked quietly through the dim light.
“Fine,” I said as I patted the space next to me. “Dad’s expecting us. I told him to give my mom fair warning.”
Alex chuckled as he sank into the space next to me. I leaned into him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, and I closed my eyes and breathed his familiar scent in.
“How about October third?” he said quietly as he rested his cheek on the top of my head.
“October third?” I asked, unsure of what he was talking about.
“The wedding. How about October third?”
My heart picked up in pace, butterflies suddenly filling my stomach. “That’s like, three weeks away.” Alex nodded. “Why that day?”
“It was my grandparent’s anniversary,” Alex said as he laced his fingers with mine. “I’ve never seen two people more in love than them. It must be a lucky day.”
“We don’t need luck,” I said quietly. “I love you more than anything. It will be perfect. However much time we have.”
Alex didn’t say anything, just pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
“Amber is going to be ticked we’re getting married before her,” I chuckled. I was trying to play it cool but inside I was jumping up and down clapping my hands in excitement.
Just then I heard the sound of tires pulling into the driveway. “Speak of the devil,” I said. A few moments later we heard the sound of the front door opening and closing.
“Jessica?” I heard Amber call from inside.
“Out here!” I shouted just loud enough for her to hear me.
A few moments later Rod and Amber walked out onto the lower deck, hand in hand. Rod’s dark features were nearly lost in the diminished light.
“We found it!” Amber said excitedly. She was practically bouncing up and down. Rod just smiled and shook his head at her. “We found the perfect apartment. It’s right on Chuckanut Drive and it look out right over the ocean. It’s amazing, Jessica! You have to see it!”
“Did you already submit an application for it?” Alex asked.
“We’ve already got keys, man,” Rod said with his own smile as he held them up, jangling them in the air.
“I’m moving in tomorrow after we go furniture shopping!” Now she really was jumping up and down.
“You’re moving out?” I asked, my voice sounding downfallen. “Already?”
She nodded. “And Rod will be moving in after the wedding. He still has a few months left on his contract in his old apartment anyway.”
“Congratulations,” I said as I smiled up at her.
“I know! I’ve never had my own apartment before! And you two will finally have the house back to yourselves,” she said with a wink.
I glanced at Alex with a smile as he squeezed my shoulder and looked down at me.
“So,” Rod said as he dragged two other chairs over towards us. They both sat. “Have you love birds set a date yet?”
“October third,” Alex said, meeting Amber’s eyes. Her eyes narrowed and Alex hurried on. “It was my grandparents’ anniversary.” Her eyes softened just a bit.
“Wow, and I thought we were going fast!” she laughed. “That’s like three weeks away, right?”
“Yep,” Alex said at the same time that I nodded.
“Well, congrats again you guys,” Rod said as he took Amber’s hand in his. “You two deserve it.”