And yet again, James did nothing. A man who is supposed to care for me...to love me, watched everything and didn’t even defend me. For the sake of his image, he'd rather please my father than me. Yet I'll stay with him. I'm so fucking pathetic.
I crouched down, putting my face in my hands and cried. No one would care about me. No one...
Something soft brushed against my hands and I lifted my head to see a white wolf. I gawked at it, quickly looking around to find where the owner was, but I didn’t see anyone.
I looked back at the wolf who sat down; its pink eyes blinked at me with curiosity.
"Who do you belong to, huh? You're not a shifter." I reached out to pet it softly. Something told me it was a ‘she’ but I didn't know for sure. It didn't have a band on anywhere, so I knew it wasn't a shifter.
Shifters were required to wear some type of jewelry while in their animal form so they wouldn't be hunted or thought of as pets, but as my eyes looked all over her pure white body, I couldn't find anything of the sort.
It made a small whining sound, walking up into my arms and began licking my face.
"Hey. Stop, that tickles. Hehehe. You here to comfort me? Sorry, I must have disturbed your walk with my silly crying," I whispered, petting it over and over again. It rubbed its head against my cheek before resting its head on my shoulder.
"What are you doing now? You want a hug?" I inquired.
"Woof!"
I smiled, embracing the animal as if it was my own. I wasn't allowed to have a pet, my father claimed only mages or beings with high magic capabilities deserved a familiar. I didn't fit any of those categories and would only be a hindrance to the animal who was chosen for me.
I closed my eyes and sobbed, tightening my hold around the wolf. Tonight I would just pretend it was mine and enjoy the comfort its warm body and sweet nature gave me. For once, I could cry knowing that at least someone cared about my misery.
And misery always loved company.
"Farewell. Thank you for comforting me. Hope your owner treasures you." I petted the wolf one last time before it stood. It took one more glance at me, howling once before dashing away.
I smiled, waving goodbye until I lost sight of the beautiful creature. My arm dropped back down to my side as feelings of loneliness and sadness settled within me. I slapped my tear stained cheeks, taking a steady breath to pump myself up.
"Alright, Crim! You're better than this. You've always bounced back from situations like this. Today won't be any different. You’re gonna go drink away your misery and sorrow. As for James..." I trailed off; his hurtful expression when I pulled my arm out of his grasp flickered in my mind.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, taking another deep inhale and letting the air slowly out. As for James...maybe it's time we go our separate ways. At least until I can truly be independent and don't always have my father meddling in my business. I care about James...but do I love him? Truly love him? Does he really love me?
I looked up to the sky filled with stars and sighed. My hands clenched into fists and I nodded my head in determination.
"Become independent. No more relying on my family and James. I'll find someone better. Someone who will show me what love is and who will stand their ground by my side. He'd defend me and protect me. Yes. I'll certainly find someone better. They'll even give me hot passionate sex! Better than James times TWO! Then I'll visit Hakua and get her approval of my new lover and maybe I can work on just talking more with Mom. Yes, that sounds like a solid plan," I announced to myself.
I started walking again, the cold breeze gusted by me which made my skin prickle with goosebumps. I zipped up my leather jacket and began to speed walk toward the bar I always went to. I seriously needed a drink. No, I needed a few of them to drown my agony and temporarily forget how shitty today had been.
Could have been worse. I could have been hit by a car or killed. Hah, my dad would love that. No more Crimson Arashi to bring down his reputation.
I paused mid-stride and looked over my shoulder, sensing someone was watching me. But my eyes scanned the brightly lit streets and saw no one. I frowned, but shrugged. I need to stop watching horror movies. Not good for my nerves.
I began to jog out of the residential area and into the main streets that were livelier now at eight in the evening.
Ten more minutes and I'll be drinking. Yes!
I took a final glance around me; the creepy feeling of being watched was long gone. Silly Crim. Just your imagination playing tricks on you.
I began to walk casually with my hands in my pockets, hoping tonight would end on a good note.
"Much better! I can't believe people try to say drinking is bad for you. How can it be bad when it makes you so relaxed and happy inside? May do a little damage to your liver here or there, but we have magic for that stuff. Well, I can't use magic, but you get my drift," I rambled to Jeff, the bartender who'd served me since I came in to celebrate my eighteenth birthday, which was the legal drinking age.
"I agree with you, but that's your last drink. I know when you're at your limit." Jeff winked, crossing his arms.
I giggled in response.
It was one in the morning and I was one of the last customers of the night. I considered Jeff more as an acquaintance than just a bartender, but he was a hell of a good listener.
The moment I strolled in and his bright gold eyes met mine, he knew I'd survived another family outing and needed to get wasted.
He had light blond short hair that was gelled down to tame his naturally spiky hair. He was 6'0” and wore his casual work outfit which had always been a black dress shirt and jeans.
He'd closed the bar early, claiming it was a slow night, but after knowing him for four years, I knew he'd done it on my behalf. Whenever I had a really shitty day, especially when it dealt with the family, he'd close the bar early and give me an hour or so for us to just talk.
He knew all about my family history, being a shifter himself and living near my family residence, but he didn't judge me based on the numerous rumors about me.
Jeff judged a person by their personality and actions. Not by gossip that was mostly false and fabricated by shifters who had nothing better to do than talk shit about others.
"Aww... Jeff, don't be mean. One more." I gave him my best smile and winked at him.
He laughed, shaking his head, but moved over to the rows of bottled alcohol.
"Shot or glass?"
"Shot. Why not? Give me an extra kick for the night," I hummed.
He poured me a shot of what looked to be tequila, getting a few lime wedges from the mini fridge below and walked back to where I sat on a bar stool.
He placed the shot and the small plate of limes, giving me his 'this is it' look.
"No more after this. Promise me."
"Fine. I promiseeeeeee." I emphasized the word.
He grinned, stepping back and allowing me a moment to enjoy the quick drink. I downed it with practiced ease, enjoying the burning tingle that trickled down my throat before I bit down on the lime.
"Is James going to meet you at the lamp post?" Jeff asked.
I pulled the lime out of my mouth and nodded. "Yup. He'll text me when he's almost here. Hopefully, he didn't forget about me," I joked, but Jeff frowned.
"He still treating you like a side chick rather than a girlfriend?" he said plainly.
"Pretty much. He says he'll start treating me better, like this is a real relationship every single time I bring it up, but it all turns into lies once he's in the public eye. Like today when we were heading to my family home, we held hands all the way until we turned onto the street that heads toward the shrine stair entrance and voila! He suddenly remembers he has to discuss something extremely important with his father and calls him," I explained.
"He needs two hands to hold a phone?" Jeff asked sarcastically, a displeased expression on his face.
"Apparently so." I rested my elbows on the smooth black counter and rested my head in my hands.