Fish Out of Water

chapter Sixteen

The End of The Beginning


The Cave of Sighs

I was almost broken, as the thing that seemed to be coming from the box screamed and squealed higher, ever higher. We’d been winning against it, defeating it, but we began to lose our strength before we could overcome it. I was still singing, and so was Carragheen, but the song was a weak trickle from us now, and the pain was almost overwhelming.

I glanced over at Lecanora and Imogen, and I saw that their eyes were closed and the protection we had been able to afford them for a few, brief moments was waning. They were once again in the thrall of the thing.

I felt like we needed more, more fuel, more… oomph. An extra person, singing with us. I looked over at Lecanora and Imogen, and cursed their muteness. My gaze wouldn’t leave Lecanora’s face, and the truth hit me like a sledgehammer to my gut. If only she were able to join with us, we could overcome this thing, I knew it. My eyes bore into her, my mind too defeated to plead with hers, but my heart trying to offer her whatever she needed, the last shreds of my strength if it would help. As I looked, Lecanora’s eyes fluttered open.

We gazed at each other for what felt like hours, but could be only seconds. And then I saw Rila note the look that passed between us, and a renewed spark of fury and defiance light her eyes. I saw her throat ululate, like some mad howling witch, and I heard the note that she was singing start to change. It was impossibly high, like she was trying to call something made of pure evil from the depths of the little box she was holding.

With the last breath of energy in my body, I noticed, almost with disinterest, that the box started to shake and glow. It was quivering, alive, as it started to unleash the worst hell of its arsenal. But, somehow, I don’t know how, it released another thing as well.

A beam of something silver arced across the water. To Lecanora.

My mind was unable to comprehend what was happening, but as soon as the thing flashed across in front of us, Lecanora picked up the embers of the dying note coming from me, and from Carragheen, and started to sing. I don’t know how she summoned the energy. The pain was so intense at this point it was sucking the water-breath from my body, but somehow she picked up my thought and started to sing. And the spark she lit ignited the song anew.

Carragheen and I felt the pain start to recede again and the cool fanning breath of relief and healing. It was like beating back an inferno, and we were able to join with Lecanora, our song swelling into a primal call of fury and protection. I glanced at Imogen and an icy fear almost chilled my throat. She looked like there was no life left in her, as though the last blast from the thing Rila was holding had been her ruin.

I wouldn’t believe it.

I sang right to her, right into her. I was trying to fill her up with this song, these notes we were somehow making that had a power greater than each of us alone. At first nothing happened. She continued to lie lifeless and broken on the sandy floor. But then she began to stir, and she raised her head and looked at me. Even through the song, which was filling my head like the heady joy of childhood, I could hear the words forming in her brain.

Thank you.

Within moments, we again had the advantage. Rila was still holding the box above her head, and I knew that the weapon was still doing its thing, but it was powerless against us, against the combined thread of our love and our fury. Our song. Rila could see it too, and she looked increasingly agitated. Then terrified. She was alone, in the deep darkness of the ocean. With a weapon that was no longer working.

And four very pissed mermaids.

I felt my fingers start to flex as they again filled with desire to stab at her throat with them, to disable her. I moved towards her, planning to do so, and she seemed paralyzed. She was still singing the pain out at us, but she looked like she had no idea what to do next. I was closing on her, and I could see her face turn red with the effort she was using to channel the energy of the thing.

Before I could get to her, something else closed in ahead of me. Rila was suddenly still, surprised. I noticed her lower the thing, and look at it, shocked.

It was really glowing now. It was crimson red and almost looked to be beating, like it was alive. Rila started to raise her hands to her ears, and then before I could piece together what was happening, she was on her knees on the ocean floor. The three of us stopped singing, knowing the horror of what was happening to her, but unable to stop it.

She was screaming and writhing, and looking up at me with pleading eyes.

Even with all that she’d done, I knew in that moment I would turn it off. Make it stop hurting her. If I could. But I didn’t know how.

Within seconds, the pulsing box seemed to have reached some macabre crescendo, and the twisted girl on the ocean floor reared up and arched her back, like she was possessed. And then she disappeared. It was hard to find the words for what happened to her.

One moment she was there. Real, alive. In agony, sure, but flesh and bone.

And then she was gone. Her particles scattered through the water like dust.

Lecanora, Carragheen and I looked at each other in mute astonishment. There were no words. We were spent, shattered by the energy of what had been required of us, and by the emotional force of what we had just seen.

A girl with a twisted dream, blown to pieces before our eyes.

As Carragheen wordlessly picked up Imogen and began to bind her to him again, and I collected the now-still box, I saw that Lecanora had sufficient energy for only one piece of telepathic communication. She was too exhausted to send it on a private channel.

Mother. I am well. Seize Kraken. We are coming.


The Queens’ Chambers, Aegira

On our return, we gathered in the Queen’s chambers.

Carragheen, Lecanora, Imogen and me. And Mom.

Not just to explain it all, but for something else. Safety. Solace. Comfort.

Oh, and there was someone else there too. Rick, the dolphin. He’d been waiting with the two mothers when we returned. Imd had called him to her to help us on our return. She did not allow any of us to speak until he had tended us. This time I gratefully swallowed the disgusting medicine he produced, knowing that it would speed my recovery, and hopefully allow my fractured mind to start to make some sense of all that happened, back in the blackness. I even managed to connive a little extra of the special medicine from Rick, thoughts of Doug uppermost in my mind. Now, I just needed Zorax to teach me how to get it through the hydroport…

At the Queen’s insistence, I allowed Rashind, The Chief Healer, to check me over also. I wasn’t keen to permit the examination. I don’t know him, and the circle of people I trusted was really, really small. Especially now. But he was very gentle, and as I watched him work, checking me over and talking softly to me, I was struck by what a steady soul he was. I decided I liked him. I was willing to reserve trust for another time, but he at least passed the first hurdle.

Relief that it was over still pulsed through me, as solid and real as the fish of life.

But I was looking forward to some answers.

“What is it?” The Queen was turning the box over in her hands as she sat in front of us, a picture of relief and puzzlement. None of us was sure who should answer. None of us knew.

I was glad Rick was here for the de-brief, and that he started to tell the tale. I looked to him now for an answer to Imd’s question.

It is nothing, just a receptacle.

Imd wanted more. Then, how?

Rick squeaked a confused click. It held something. Some kind of device. Something very sophisticated from what Rania and Lecanora have been telling me.

Imd pressed. What do you think it was, Defender of Aegira?

Rick puffed up at the affection, as Imd had intended. My best guess is that it uses an EMP. Electro-magnetic pulse. Probably crossed with micro-nuclear technology, which your energy guys have been experimenting with for a while. Making smaller, more efficient, less wasteful power sources. But the neat part is the sonar activation. It seemed to respond to a pre-programmed sound trigger, in this case a single, particular note.

Imd continued. But how did it steal the voices, friend?

Rick shook his dignified dolphin head, and for the first time I really bought that he was now a member of the High Council of Dolphins. He really looked the part, there in the Queen’s chambers, answering her questions with such poise.

I do not know. We do not know. But perhaps they took Imogen’s voice, and Lecanora’s, with some kind of amplified recording system. And they used the voices to magnify the EMP, make it into a weapon, silent and yet made of concentrated sound. I can only guess that it’s a prototype, judging by how the Princess described the malfunction, the effect it had on Rila.

Mom entered the fray, her frown indicating concern at something she’d just heard.

A prototype? But we have Kraken now.

Rick inclined his head again, in that cool way that only dolphins and Indians from the sub-continent can pull off with such panache. It would be nice to think he is the end of this.

Mom was not appeased. But you don’t?

Rick turned to me. What do you think, babe?

I thought about Rila’s words, her talk of pursuit of a higher end, and I wondered whether those higher ends were really just Kraken, or whether there was more.

I don’t know. But something tells me that it’s not over yet.

I wanted it to be over. I wanted the world to be safe. May the Goddess help me, I wanted to be safe. But I knew better than anyone that wanting it don’t make it so. The visions… I’ve sensed that others will come into play, before this is done, before Aegira knows peace.

Mom was nodding her head thoughtfully. I, also, cannot believe that Kraken is the apex of this. And I know much of him, and the things of which he is capable. She looked at me, hesitating, and at Lecanora, and in the look was the shadow of the conversation we had to have.

We all reflected for a moment on Kraken, and I thought about how hard this must be for Mom, who had been his lover. I didn’t know much; only that Kraken had been seized, and was even now being questioned using a special serum extracted from lighsa weed. A truth serum.

There was so much I didn’t understand, so much I wanted to know, so much to ask Rick.

But I’m practical, so my immediate thoughts were for the logistics. Rick, what do you know of the singing? How is it that we were able to sing to protect ourselves, and the others? And why did Lecanora make all the difference? I paused, embarrassed by the thought that had plagued me since it all occurred. Is this it now, Rick? Are we The Three, of the Prophesy? Lecanora, Carragheen, and I?

Rick laughed. Oh, Rania, you know I can’t tell you that. But I have told you before that none of The Three wear pants. Don’t you remember?

All eyes swivelled to Carragheen, looking particularly fine in a pair of tight, cropped pants worn by Aegiran men to aid water travel. He shrugged. Hey, I never asked for greatness. Perfectly happy to be left out of that exclusive club.

But I was dogged. So why did Lecanora singing matter?

Rick sighed. Rania, I’m not being cagey. I really don’t have these answers. The best I can do for you is to say that I think, from all I have heard, that it was the connections between the three of you that took the song to the next level.

I shook my head. The love? Between me and Lecanora, and me and Carragheen?

Rick twitched his head. No, Rania. The blood. The blood that connects you all.

It took a moment, but in the dark recesses of my overworked brain pennies began to drop into place. I looked at Mom.

“There is so much to tell,” she began.

As I surveyed the room, I saw that we were all hanging on her words. All except the Queen. She knows, I thought. Whatever Mom is about to tell us, she already knows.

Mom’s good at storytelling, but she obviously decided there were some salient points that needed to be covered immediately, before filling in the blanks, so she was direct. “Rania, Lecanora is your sister. Yours too, Carragheen.”

Oh Sweet Mother, I was never good at this stuff. Please tell me that this doesn’t mean that Carragheen and I are somehow related.

“Relax, Rania,” Carragheen said. “If I’m following this, you and I definitely have different mothers and different fathers. We’re safe.”

Every cell in my body whooped with delight. And I slotted the parts in place.

“You and Kraken,” I said to Mom. “The lovers’ ears. Lecanora is two years older than me. She’s your daughter. Yours and Kraken’s. And so, Ran help me, she’s my sister. My half-sister. And… and she’s Carragheen’s half-sister too, because they have the same father. The connections, I understand. But why…? Why did you leave? How could you have left her?”

I was looking at Lecanora, expecting to see her furious and impatient for answers. Expecting to see in her the answering echo of my own surprise, and confusion and anger at our mother. But even though I could tell this was as much of a surprise to her as it was to me I could also tell, from one glance at her straight shoulders and soft face, that she was not angry. I saw her go sit between the Queen, and my Mom. Her Mom too, I corrected myself. She took a hand of each, and her message was devastatingly clear. If these are my mothers, then I accept them both. I am here for them. Both.

“Mom,” I croaked hoarsely. “We need the truth. You need to tell us everything.”

“Yes,” Mom said, nodding as she held my hand. “I understand. Now is the time.” We gathered around her, and she began.

“We were young, and in love. Kraken and I. We both had dreams of making the world better. Me, like all young women, through song. Kraken through politics. But things changed after he returned from the land. He had been gone so long, and I’d missed him desperately.”

She was far away, and her fists were balled at her sides. I wanted to tell her it was okay, she could stop. But I wasn’t the only one with an interest anymore. And she understood it.

“But he had changed. I was due to go for my watch-keeper year, and we planned to reunite afterwards. We even planned secret meetings while I was away.” She looked at Carragheen, and at me. “We could not stay away from each other. But then, after he returned, he no longer wanted me to go. He was so worried; he became obsessed with the land, with it being the place that would see the destruction of Aegira. He forbade me leaving. He became angry, and violent. He was so dark. Like only those who have suffered grave disappointment can be.”

She hung her head, and I wanted to scream at her that there was no shame for her in this. But none of us said anything. This was her moment.

“When I found out I was pregnant, he was ecstatic, but by then he terrified me. I planned to run away, to take my baby far away from him, to the land. But he found out about my plans.”

Her voice caught, and she twirled a piece of hair through the long fingers of one hand as she remembered. I saw Carragheen nodding, and I covered his hand with mine.

“He was furious, told me to leave, but that if I took my baby he would kill it. Kill her.” She looked to Lecanora, love and tears in her eyes. “I could not bear it, even then, even before I knew you. I said I would stay, I would have endured anything to be near you, but by then…” Mom paused delicately. “By then he was mad with rage. I knew I had to get away. When she was born, I fled. I swam. I thought I could hide her, on the land. But, again, he found us.”

Before I realized what she’d done, Lecanora had wrapped Mom and me up in her strong embrace. Mother and daughters. Sisters. But Mom wasn’t finished. And we were in her thrall.

“I knew that I had to leave. He would have killed her in his rage. But how could I have left her with him, knowing what he had become? I would have died to protect her. Happily. But I think he saw the opportunity our baby presented. And when I knew what he planned for you, my darling,” she said to Lecanora. “I knew that you would be okay.” She looked to Imd, who was crying quietly among us. “I knew you would be a mother like no other.”

“Not like you,” Imd offered graciously. “But I loved her with all I had.”

“Did you know?” My question was impertinent, but would Imd sanction such a bargain?

“About ten minutes before you did,” The Queen smiled. “Although at times I had wondered about Lunia.”

My brain was so dizzy I could hardly remember the now-automatic skill of water-breathing. I tried to imagine Mom, leaving her child behind, in order to save her. I am the child of this woman; I know how she loves, with complete devotion. I thought about how much it must have hurt her to see Lecanora, briefly, during our visits. The thought stopped me.

“I wonder, why did he let you visit? It was a risk.”

Mom was about to answer me, maybe she even started to, when there was an interruption from one of the royal guards. He whispered frantically in Imd’s ear for a few moments, before she cleared her throat and straightened. “What you have to say you can tell us all,” she commanded.

The young man looked unsure, unused to such lofty company, but did as he was bid. “We have completed the questioning of Kraken, using the lighsa serum. I can report without hesitation that he is not responsible for the kidnap of Imogen and Lecanora.”

The room made a collective noise. My eyes flicked to Carragheen, whose face was stone.

The guard went on. “We have verified that he helped develop the forgetting spell, which The Triad sanctioned against the community. But he knew nothing of Imogen and Lecanora.”

I was on my feet, swimming around the guard. “Did you learn anything else from him?”

The guard hesitated. “I’m not sure he is… well. He was ranting about…”

The guard’s eyes flicked quickly to me, and Mom. He looked apologetic.

“Dirt-dwellers. And he has a suspicion. He… believes Manos has returned, to take Aegira. And he has been investigating someone about whom he has had concerns for some time. Someone he believes to be aiding Manos.”

“Who?” The Queen was frosty.

“Epaste.” The guard looked horrified.

Mom’s hand flew to her mouth, and I remembered what she had told me about their friendship. “It’s not possible,” she started, but then she stopped. “But maybe I don’t know anything anymore. I have not known him for a long time…”

There was more in her face than she was saying, and I nodded at her. “We were best friends, like I told you,” she said, to Lecanora and me directly. “It ended after I fell in love with Kraken. I told Epaste, and it was then… he confessed love for me, begged me to be with him. When I would not, he took the vow of silence.” Even knowing it may be him, my heart ached for the young Epaste, and I could tell that Mom’s still did too. “He was so good,” she said. “Even then, a friend of the refugees. He had dreams of unity for the whole underwater world.”

The guard looked to the Queen for direction. “Bring Epaste to me,” she said.

The guard hesitated. “And Kraken, should I release him?”

“No.” The Queen was severe. “He has other crimes to answer for.”

The Queen dismissed us. Carragheen, Lecanora and I couldn’t believe it was finally over. We were exhausted in ways we’d never known, and sleep was the only salve for the wounds we’d suffered. Rick insisted, and Rashind backed him up in his insistence. And although there was so much I was trying to work through, and understand, the lure of sleep was strong.

Imogen was going to need much more than sleep. Rick was with her when I stopped in on her before lying down to close my eyes. She looked like a broken doll, and as I watched Rick with her, so gentle and able, I felt a wave of fear. The lead soloist. The most perfect creature of Aegira. Without a voice.

She saw me watching her.

It’s fine, Rania, she telepathed. A voice is not a soul. I’m still here, and I will heal. I may never find my voice again, but I have my life. Thanks to you. To the three of you.

I telepathed too, because it seemed rude to speak when she could not. And to Zorax.

She turned her face to the wall. I do not know what he will think of me now, now that I am… mute. I’m not sure I can bear to see him.

I shook my head in disbelief. It’s amazing, isn’t it? What love will do to us. Here she was, this beautiful young thing, worrying about what some old guy who looks like Santa Claus might think of her. A guy who, in lots of ways, was responsible for her predicament.

I squeezed her hand. I know some things, I told her. And I know that he loves you more than your voice. And he wants to make things right. Think about it, when you’re better.

Rick uttered a small, pissed-off sounding squeak and I took it as my cue to beat it. On the way back to the chamber that had been prepared for me, I saw Lecanora, lounging in the hall.

She looked scrubbed, pink and peaceful, and held out her arms to me. I fell into them. She felt so good, like coming home. For the first time since it had all happened, I cried. I cried and cried like I’d lost everything, rather than saved it. I cried for all the pain, and the danger, and for the sick, sad feeling I couldn’t quite shake that it wasn’t over. Not by a long shot.

She just shushed me softly, indulgently, and it was amazing to know, now. To finally understand, maybe, why I loved her so much, when she was so different from me.

Like ice to my fire.

As I held her here now, dear and close, I reflected that she was one of the things that held my life up. Her. Mom. I tried not to think: and Carragheen. Instead, I thought, not a bad tally. Two people who would die for me. Or even better, try to save me. Some people don’t even have one such person. And I’d always thought of myself as so alone.

Lecanora pulled back from me, and held my face. “Thank you, dear one,” she said softly.

“Hey, no way babe, thank you,” I corrected her, remembering how her managing to retrieve her voice from that evil box at the critical moment had been the difference between us all dying writhing in agony on sea floor, and getting to go sleep in one the Queen’s famously comfy beds. “You’re the one who found your voice just when it really mattered.”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” she mused, still softly, like she was only now reacquainting herself with her voice. “Trying to work out why it came back to me, remembering that silver thread. It’s like the thing let my voice go, as it started to heat up, before it did that thing to Rila.”

“I don’t care why,” I said, touching her shoulder. “All that matters is that it did, and not just because it saved us all. I couldn’t imagine you without a voice.” I was thinking about the broken girl lying in the next room.

“There are worse things,” Lecanora responded quietly. “How is Carragheen?”

I looked into her steady, blue-grey eyes and knew she was worried about him. For what he now knew of his father, for what he’d had to do. I marvelled at her empathy, even at a time like this, when she was still hurting.

“He’s my next stop,” I told her, and I was aware that my uncertainty was in my eyes as I said it. But I didn’t need to hide it. From her, or anyone.

She considered me carefully. “I was wrong about him, you know,” she told me needlessly. “I’m sorry. I know you’ve only known him for a few days, but I can see what you feel. He is a good man. I knew it, you know, even before this… even with everything wild he’s done in his life.” She broke off. “The true test of a person is what they will do when they are afraid. And he came through for you, Rania, for us. He never wavered. You are very lucky.”

I was not sure if that was true. But I did know that after tonight, I trusted him.

Completely. Finally.

“There’s something else you need to know, Ransha,” she said.

“Really?” I couldn’t believe I needed anything else right now. I was so tired.

She nodded again. “I heard it from my mother. It’s about Leisen. She’s… she went into the spirit-house at Wave-sigh.”

I shook my head, unable to compute what she was saying. “Why? I mean, Carragheen said she was sick, searching the Gods…”

Lecanora sounded sad as she told the tale, and I thought what a wonderful Queen she would make. “Leisen has been unable to care for her daughter for some time. She needs to be with her Gods. She is broken. She sought the Queen’s permission today, and was given it. The Queen… my mother... said that Leisen was happy. She said that at last she will know peace.”

I was so sad for Leisen that I couldn’t make the connections. More people broken by Kraken. More women ruined. But Lecanora joined things up for me. “So their marriage is dissolved, Rania. You remember, don’t you? That’s what happens when you enter the convent. I know that they never really lived as man and wife, but now, don’t you see? Carragheen is free.” My heart tripped over this news. Free. And at last the doubts were gone.

My mind turned to Doug, and the pain and fear for him was still there, but I knew that was all that was there. He was my friend only. A friend I would avenge and care for as I could.

But first I had to sleep. I would die if I tried to hydroport again before I had.

And before I did, I was going straight to Carragheen. I didn’t care anymore what he knew, or didn’t know. I’d only known him a few days but when all you’ve got is a few weeks, there was no time to play coy.

Then another, different kind of knowledge gathered in my heart as I saw in Lecanora’s eyes the wistfulness she was trying to smother. And I realized I must tell her. “It will happen for you, too,” I said to her. “I can feel it. A love, for you.”

“Really?” She sounded dubious, but as though she’d like to believe me.

I nodded.

“Can you share what you see?” Now she sounded like a teenager, curious and impatient.

“Sorry,” I shrugged. “A feeling, not a vision. No visuals.”

She sighed, and in it was all the exhaustion we both felt. “Time to rest,” I whispered, touching her shoulder. She nodded, agreeing, and backed into her room, closing her door gently.

I was planning to stop by the chamber reserved for Carragheen before I tumbled into sleep, but as I passed my own room, I saw him lounging on my bed. The tiredness in his eyes mirrored that of Lecanora, but there was something else too. Something less straightforward, less easy to cure. I sat down beside him, and pulled his head to my breast, stroking his hair.

“What can I do?” My heart longed to offer some comfort from his pain and shame.

He shook his head. “It will pass,” he said, trying to sound confident. “I’ve known for a long time that my father was not the man Aegira saw. But to find him capable of this…” He coughed. “It is as though the foundations of my world have shifted. I always felt like the misfit. As I got older, I let go of it. Maybe the problem was never really mine, but his.”

I had no words to offer him, so I comforted him in the only way I knew. I brought his face level to mine, and kissed him with all I had to give. With my heart, and my hope, and my desire for him to feel whole and well again.

To feel like the man I knew him to be, untainted, unstained by his father’s twisted dream.

He pulled back. “Rania,” he said roughly. “I need to tell you. About your mother and Kraken. I didn’t know. Not really. It’s just that…”

I silenced him with my lips, and as I did I tasted the salt of his mouth, and felt the dead weight of his arms spring back to life, snaking around me and pinning me against him. I felt a hunger in him, a need to take, and to be sated, and I was willing to give whatever he needed.

So I did.

I kissed him with a hunger to match the ferocity of his. I stripped the clothes from his body quickly, furiously, and covered him with all of me. I squeezed his chest, his arms, his buttocks. I ran my hands through his hair, over and over. I tore the pants from his legs like a mad woman. Within seconds, he was inside me, deep inside, straining and bucking to get deeper, wrapping my legs around his waist and crushing me in his embrace. He was kissing me the whole time, drinking from me. Driven, starving. And I was giving him everything I had. My nerves were tingling at the glorious beauty of him, at the electric fizz of his touch.

He was my world, shrunken to this.

I couldn’t tear my eyes from him, but his gaze was somewhere else. Concentrating, focused, trying to get back to us. I tightened myself around him and twisted my body so I was all he could see, all he could feel. I dragged his head back down to mine, and devoured his face, his mouth, his neck.

But it wasn’t enough.

I could feel it in the bunch of his muscles and the uncertainty in his touch. He needed to talk. It took all my willpower, but I stopped. “Okay, what is it?”

He waited a moment, catching his breath. “I have to tell you. I can’t have you wonder.”

I nodded. Okay, but talk about timing. Couldn’t we do this after?

“There had always been things,” he started. “Things that made me wonder. About my father and your mother. But I knew after I found Leisen. She told me. My father would call her Lunia. She looks like your mother.”

The thought disgusted me, and I shrank involuntarily. I took his hand. “It’s not you,” I assured him. “It’s just hard to comprehend. Poor girl.”

He needed to say more. “I wanted to tell you. I was going to, that night, on your sofa. But then you found the shells.”

He looked at me and could see, finally, that it didn’t matter. He had my trust, and the words meant nothing. I knew him, like I know my own skin. He was just like me. And he was mine. Then he was with me again, and there was no need for more words. The demons had been cast out by the sheer brutal force of the thing we both wanted, and his face was still hungry, but focused on me alone as I felt the eruption begin in every cell of my body.

There was no epicenter to this storm. My whole self was on fire, and the blaze that surrounded us was all that existed. I was drowning in sensation, and in the hard, furious pace of a love so wild I wasn’t sure either one of us could survive it. As it rained down exorcising fury upon both of us, we clung together like children facing a storm, and rode it out together.

When it was over, he was panting in my arms, utterly spent and I knew the sleep to come would be the kind I’ll fantasize about through every night of insomnia I ever experience for the rest of my life. I was so totally fulfilled I didn’t even think about a cigarette.

As we went together to a dreamless place where no words were required, I knew that this was not the end of the trials for us, but that together we were a force to make the universe shake. And I fell asleep weeping a prayer of thanks to Ran.


Day Six: Dawn

When I woke, he was kissing me, and his fingers were insistently circling my face and then lower, to the small of my back, my buttocks, my thighs, then around to the front, and across my stomach, my breasts, and my face again. I was ready again, so ready.

He reached down again, picked up my arm, the one with the burn, and spent a few seconds running his rough-soft palms over it. Something about it, the way he was concentrating his touching on the kernel of my fear and self-doubt, undid me.

I pulled him down onto me, bucking against him impatiently, and he looked at me with a question in his eyes, seeking reassurance, seeking permission. I answered him with my hips and then we were one, again, and I was dizzy and lost with the sensation of him everywhere inside me. It was different, this time. No less intense, but without the ferocity. In its place was infinite gentleness, the softest sigh that was whispering in my ear that this was only the beginning, so there was no need to rush. I felt as though we were swimming toward one another, a slow, deliberate stroke through soft water. He looked lost and focused all at once, and suddenly the wolf was gone and he was a little boy, perplexed but joyous, riding a brilliant wave.

The crest lasted for long moments, seeming to climb higher and higher before it crashed down against us, and I was afraid I’d drown in its gushing, rushing insanity. We collapsed as one, and everything had changed.

He propped himself back up on one elbow, and looked at me, and I saw the mirror of my epiphany in his eyes. I had no idea how it could be, after a few days, but I knew that it was true.

“It’s you,” I whispered. “From the dreams.”

“Yes,” he agreed, laughing.

And I knew that no matter what came next, how long or how short the world let this thing between us last, he was mine and I was his. He was the one from my dream, and I would never be alone again while he breathed water or air.

He pulled me down, and we lay for the longest time staring into each other, like people who’d found a slice of themselves that they never knew was missing. It was an utterly new experience for me to be with someone who knew everything about me.

Then I remembered the Seer.

Almost everything.


Two Hours Later: The Queen’s Chambers

Epaste was kneeling like a huge, broken doll before the Queen when Lecanora, Carragheen, Mom and I were called before her again. He did not raise his head, but she met our eyes calmly. Hers were clear and open, but there was immeasurable sadness in their cool depths.

“Epaste and I have spent many hours talking,” the Queen said. “Things are very serious.”

I took a hand each of Lecanora and Carragheen, who were either side of me. I felt the alorha fish jump in Lecanora’s wrist, and marvelled at the strange warmth of Carragheen’s hand. Both sensations gave me support and succor as we sat to listen.

“Tell them, Epaste.”

We waited for the thoughts to be planted in our brains, and were all startled when he spoke. But as he raised his head, his eyes and his words were directed not to us, or to the Queen, but to Mom. “It seems so foolish, now, Lunia.”

Even then, she could not restrain her empathy. She went to him, knelt, and took his arm.

“We all do foolish things, Epaste,” she told him warmly. “And when we do, all we can do is try to make things better, as best we can.”

“Manos found me, when I was at a treaty conference, negotiating the release of the Leigon refugees. At first I was horrified, terrified really. But he… he convinced me that he had changed. That he had spent ten millennia repenting his deeds. That they had come from a twisted admiration of Aegira. And that he only desired to make amends.”

Epaste’s voice was hoarse and broken, unused to being allowed free reign.

“He said he understood my deepest desires, to unify the nations of the deep, to stop the fighting. And maybe even to find peace with the land-dwellers. He said it was possible, but only with the strongest protection, to ensure Aegira would not be destroyed. He told me he had been experimenting with a weapon that could protect Aegira against any foe. And that once we had it, we could negotiate from a place of safety. And unify the world.”

I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat. “Yeah, right, just like the a-bomb was going to be a great peace-maker.”

Epaste nodded. “I see now how ridiculous the notion was. I am ashamed to say that the weapon only truly became possible after I learned of Zorax’s experiments, from Kraken. But you have to believe that I had no idea that Manos was killing people, tried to kill you. And others… He promised the whole venture would be undertaken peacefully.”

I had never heard Lecanora so cold. “Peacefully except for Imogen and me.”

Epaste collapsed on the floor at her words, prostrate at the Queen’s feet. “He convinced me that the sacrifice of Imogen’s voice was necessary, to hone the weapon. But he assured me she would not be hurt. That once we had come to you with our plan, she would be released. I never imagined that he would take the Princess. I did not know that he had turned some of my aides to his cause — Rila, and some of the seekers — and that they were doing his bidding, over mine. Using them to kill Cleedaline, and try to kill Rania. I am a fool.”

“Yes.” There was no softness in Carragheen’s deep, honey voice.

Epaste spoke again. “Something about Rania made him so afraid, that must be why he killed Cleedaline, to stop her bringing Rania in, but I do not understand why…”

“Then clearly you do not know her,” Carragheen snapped. “He should be well afraid. Of her. And of me. And of us all. Where is he now?”

“I do not know.” Epaste’s voice broke. “I always met him outside the nation, at agreed meeting places. I was careful never to bring him to Aegira.” He paused. “But…”

“But?” The Queen was icy.

“But I am afraid, with all that he has done, contrary to our agreement, and since the incident, the blood in the Eye… I am afraid that he could be here. In Aegira.”

No. It wasn’t possible.

I had thought, when we had rescued the girls, that somehow we were done, or at least my part in all of this was done. That we were almost finished. But at Epaste’s words, I knew he was right. Like a sudden bloody dawn, my vision went red and I felt myself in the grip of something from somewhere else. Carragheen sensed what was happening immediately and rushed to my side, supporting me as I lay prone on the ground before them all. It was like the first time, the first vision, so powerful it stole the breath from my body and made me weak.

The world was red with blood, and an evil presence was laughing behind its crimson curtain. The presence was huge and menacing, the backdrop to everything. Something was different in this vision, different from the other times. I tried to center myself, to switch on to my feelings, which had always been such a reliable guide the other times.

I could not see beyond the blood, but I was struck with a simple certainty.

This wasn’t over.

And worse. This was still my fight. Mine and that of the others here with me. I felt the connections between us, real and immediate, even if I didn’t understand them yet. And I heard Ran telling me, like Rick did, to find the others.

Then it hit home.

This was not a vision of the past.

Or of what was happening now, like when I saw Imogen, trapped and afraid.

It was the future.

I was seeing the future, red and bloody, and I was being told that I needed to stop it. Me and others, connected to me in ways I was only beginning to understand.

After the blood and heat passed, I knew I needed to lie still, recover myself. I knew that the vision had taken a toll on me. But I couldn’t. I had to move. I knew there would be no respite for now. Because there were only two weeks to go.

Two weeks, to change the course of destiny and save the world entire.

Tick, tick, tick.