Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)

*

“THANKS FOR COMING with me,” Ronan said as they headed north on I-5 toward Business 80. He’d told himself everything was fine, but couldn’t help the sense of apprehension that weighed on him.

Natalie shifted in her seat. “You’ve already thanked me like a thousand times. I’m happy to be here with you. I mean that.”

“A thousand times? Really?”

She laughed. “Okay, maybe more like four hundred, but still.”

He reached across the console of the truck and took her hand in his. She squeezed his fingers. So far they hadn’t talked about their relationship, but he knew that time was coming. She deserved to hear him tell her about his feelings and she would. Just as soon as he cleared things up with Elaine.

He hadn’t slept in a couple of days, but he wasn’t tired. More on edge, he thought. Running on adrenaline. He would have to sleep at some point, but not until all this was resolved.

“I made reservations at a hotel in San Francisco,” he told her. “For tonight and tomorrow night. That will give us a day to sightsee.”

“I’d like that. Did you tell Elaine we’re stopping by?”

He nodded. “I texted her last night. She said she would be home all afternoon.”

He wasn’t sure about Ceallach. He had no interest in seeing his father, but if the old man was there, Ronan figured he would deal as best he could.

“You said your hometown has a lot of festivals,” Natalie said. “What do you mean?”

“They celebrate everything. There’s a waterskiing festival and a casserole cook-off in the winter. Parades all the time.” He grinned at her. “Christmas is the best. From Thanksgiving until New Year’s, there’s something going on. Right after Thanksgiving, a huge tree goes up in the center of town. There’s a Day of Giving, when all the local charities have booths and there’s an animal adoption. Every Christmas Eve we went to see the Dance of the Winter King put on by the local dance school, then to midnight services.”

“You were busy.”

“Always. Growing up there was great. We were able to run around as much as we wanted. The town is safe and friendly. If one of us got into trouble, someone called home to rat us out.”

“That’s nice. You must have been happy.”

“I was. I had my brothers.” Especially Mathias, he thought. Back then, they’d been twins. Part of a unit—them against the world. He missed that.

“You were close,” he said, changing the subject. “Just a few miles away in Sacramento. I never knew.”

“You mean what if we’d met back then?” She smiled. “I don’t know what would have happened.”

“I would have liked to meet your mom.”

She squeezed his hand. “I would have liked that, too. Although I think she would have warned me about you.”

“Why is that?”

“You’re kind of a bad boy.”

“Never.”

He took Forest Highway off Business 80 and pointed out several familiar buildings. The library and police station. He told her about his favorite restaurants, and when they turned north on Mother Bear Road, he motioned to the offices of Score PR.

“It’s owned by former football players,” he said.

“I’m not really a sports fan,” she admitted.

“What a surprise.”

She grinned.

But as he got closer to the house where he’d grown up, they both got quiet. He had a feeling Natalie sensed his tension. After all this time, what was he supposed to say to the woman who had raised him?

He still hadn’t worked out how he felt about everything. The information was too new, too surprising. He was happy she’d taken him in and kept him out of the foster care system. More than that, he was grateful she’d made him one of her own. Growing up, he’d never once guessed he wasn’t hers by birth. She’d raised him as her fifth son, had loved him, disciplined him, supported him and been there for him exactly as she had his brothers. Yes, she’d kept the truth from him, but he was starting to understand how that had happened. Once concealed, a secret tended to take on a life of its own, growing bigger and bigger with time.

He knew he could complain about what she’d done, but the truth was, there was no good time to shatter his world. Being who she was, Elaine would have also wanted to protect Ceallach—a flaw that was unlikely to change after all these years. She was who she was and he was the man he’d grown into because of her.

He pulled into the long driveway. Their house was on the outskirts of town to give Ceallach quiet and space to work. As a kid, Ronan had loved the freedom of the forest only a few yards from the edge of the backyard. Now he saw that the house was isolated and wondered if Elaine ever missed being closer to town.

He parked by the garage and turned off the engine of the truck.

“I have no idea what to say,” he admitted.

“It’ll come to you. I’m going to wait out here. You two need some time to clear the air.” She pointed at her bag. “I’ve brought a book—I’ll be fine. You can come get me when everything is settled.”

He wanted to tell her that he needed her with him, but knew she was right. As always. Later, when this was behind them, he had a lot of things he wanted to talk to her about. But not until then.

“I won’t be long,” he told her, before kissing her, then stepping out of the truck.

He faced the house. The front door opened. Sophie, Elaine’s beagle, ran out onto the porch, barked when she saw him, then raced toward him, her tail wagging happily. He crouched down and greeted her before starting for the house.

Elaine stood on the porch. She looked as she always had—maybe a little older with more gray in her dark hair, but otherwise the woman he remembered always being there for him. She smiled when she saw him. There was no anger, no recriminations or judgments, he thought as he approached. But then, with her, there never had been.

A thousand thoughts raced through his mind. As he’d told Natalie, he didn’t know what to say, how to explain all that had happened. Not just with Pippa, but the rest of it. How he’d felt and the anger and fear and worry. She might not understand, but he sensed she would want to talk about it and heal what she could. He also wanted to thank her for being there for him, for loving him, for making him believe he could do anything. So how on earth was he supposed to say all that when he didn’t know how to begin?

They faced each other. Her smile widened as tears filled her eyes.

“You made it.”

“I did.” He opened his mouth, closed it. Finally he reached for her as he figured out exactly what he wanted to say. “I’ve missed you, Mom.”

“Oh, Ronan. I’ve always been right here, waiting for you. I thought you knew that.”

“I do now.”

*

NATALIE WAS ALL cried out. Happy tears were still exhausting, she thought contentedly as she hugged Elaine one last time before they left.

Order had been restored. Natalie knew there would still be bumps in the road, but Ronan and his mother had talked—probably for the first time ever—about the past and what it meant to both of them. She’d apologized for not telling him about Pippa and he’d been sorry for simply walking away. They had a lifetime of love to fall back on, she thought happily. That would cushion any fall.

“You’ll stay in touch?” Elaine asked anxiously as she walked them to the door.

“I promise,” Ronan told her. “I’ll call. I’ll text. You’ll be sick of me.”

“Not likely.”

Elaine turned to Natalie. “Thank you for coming with him. He needed the support.”

“I was happy to be here.”

They petted Sophie, then walked out to the truck. Ronan held open Natalie’s door before glancing back at the house.

“What are you thinking?” she asked softly.

“That I’ve been an idiot. I thought I didn’t need this, didn’t need her. I thought I wasn’t a part of anything.” He turned to her. “Thank you for telling me I was stupid to turn my back on all I had.”