Why Not Tonight (Happily Inc. #3)

Ronan couldn’t believe it. How had Elaine done that? How had she been so generous? Where was the anger at what her husband had done?

“I flew out with you the next day. When I got to the house, I was so scared. But your father wasn’t there. I’m not sure where your brothers were, but it was just the three of us. She took you from my arms. I remember how she held you and smiled.” Pippa looked at him. “That was it. She looked at you, and then she said she would take you and raise you as her own. She told me about her youngest. A baby only a few weeks older. She said she would tell everyone you were fraternal twins. She arranged the paperwork and that was it.”

“I always thought Ceallach made her do it,” he admitted, still trying to absorb all he’d been told.

“I never saw him,” Pippa told him. “I don’t know how she explained you or what was said. I just handed you over and left.” Her smile was shaky. “She and I keep in touch. Not often, but every year or so I get an update. It’s nice to know how well you’re doing.”

She reached in her handbag and pulled out a large envelope, then handed it to him. “My contact information is in there, along with my family’s medical history. We’re a pretty ordinary, healthy bunch. My parents are still alive and would love to meet you, if you’re interested.”

She hesitated. “I’m married. My husband is a radiologist and I’m a stay-at-home mom. I volunteer at a women’s shelter and the local library. Nothing very exciting. My husband knows. I never told my kids, although I think they’d find it kind of exciting to know they have an older brother.”

She leaned toward him. “I want to be clear that I don’t think of myself as your mother. That’s who Elaine is. But I do think of you a lot and I wanted you to know that.

“I guess that’s all. I’m going to drive back to the airport. I have a flight leaving later tonight.” She smiled. “There is a very big science project due in a few days, and if I’m not there things will go awry, believe me.”

Everything about the moment was surreal. He didn’t know what to think or how to react or what he was supposed to say.

“Why now?” he asked. “Why show up now?”

“I thought you knew.” She sounded surprised. “I’m here because Elaine called me and asked me to get in touch with you as soon as possible. We agreed that speaking on the phone wouldn’t be right, so I flew out first thing.”

That made no sense. None of it. Not her or the fact that he now knew about the rest of his family. Not how she looked or the life she lived or that she’d shown up with no warning.

He rose. “I have to go.” He got halfway to the door before returning to the table and taking the envelope. “Thank you for telling me all of this. I’ll be in touch. I just need...”

She smiled. “You need time. I understand, Ronan. It was good to see you.”

He nodded and then left. He drove directly to his house, then sat in the truck in his driveway and wondered what on earth he was supposed to do now.





CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

NATALIE COULDN’T BELIEVE she’d missed it all. Ronan’s birth mother showing up, the conversation, everything. She’d been in her gallery office the entire time and hadn’t heard a thing. It was totally unfair.

On the bright side, speculating about what had happened was a great distraction from her broken heart. She was curious and concerned and hopeful and confused all at once. There was also the fact that getting information from Mathias and Nick was next to impossible. They told her facts. She wanted to know how Ronan had felt.

Twenty-four hours after the unexpected visit, Natalie was doing everything she could not to drive up the mountain and talk to Ronan. After their last disastrous encounter, she knew she just didn’t have the strength to face him one-on-one. It was hard enough to go to the office every day and do her job. There she got to pretend she wasn’t devastated, wasn’t missing him with every breath, wasn’t feeling as sad and crushed as shattered glass.

She’d told him she loved him and it hadn’t been enough. While in her head she could admit that his healing or not healing wasn’t about her and that she was wrong to think that just by falling in love with him, everything would be fine. Only that was how she wanted it to be. Her heart ached for him and demanded to know why her love wasn’t enough.

She knew that what he wrestled with had nothing to do with her—that his issues had existed long before her. The fact that she had finally figured out that she loved him was great, but not life changing for anyone but her. He had to get through his past on his own.

But she still needed to see him, be held by him. She was desperate to inhale the scent of his skin, watch him move, touch him and hear his voice. She missed everything about him.

Worse, she knew he was dealing with so much all on his own. She wanted to be there for him, to help him through it, to just listen while he went around and around with the new information his birth mother had given him. Only she and Ronan weren’t talking, at least not as far as she knew. She’d told him she loved him and he’d walked away. That wasn’t exactly an invitation for more time together.

So she stayed home. She grabbed her keys three times, then dropped them back in her bag. Once she got as far as her car before turning around and retreating to her apartment. If Ronan wanted her or needed her, he knew exactly where to find her. She wasn’t going to push herself on him. What he was going through was too important.

She tried to focus on work, but that wasn’t happening, so she found a Big Bang Theory marathon on one of the cable channels and settled in to be distracted by the antics of Leonard and Sheldon. Somewhere close to nine o’clock, there was a knock on her door.

Natalie’s heart immediately started pounding. She told herself that it wasn’t going to be Ronan, that she shouldn’t get her hopes up. But she couldn’t help wishing and praying all the way to the door.

He stood on the landing, looking tired and confused. His expression was weary, his shoulders slumped.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” he asked.

She took his hand and pulled him inside, then wrapped her arms around him and hung on tight.

She told herself that he was here as a friend and that she shouldn’t read too much into his visit. She promised that she wouldn’t say or do anything cringe-worthy. That she would remember she was his friend first, and the woman who loved him second.

He hugged her back, his strong arms holding her so tight she could barely breathe. God, that felt good. All warm and safe and just like she remembered. If only he would never let go.

But he did, stepping back. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

“It’s fine.”

She led him into the kitchen, then began pulling out leftover take-out containers. Since her confession, she’d been living on Chinese, Thai and Italian, with a little Mexican thrown in. When there was a problem with her life, carbs and cheese were always the answer.

“What are you doing?” he asked, leaning against the counter.

“You haven’t eaten in at least twenty-four hours. You’ll feel better with food in your stomach.”

His eyebrows drew together. “How do you know I haven’t eaten?”

“Have you?”

“No.”

She turned on the oven, then dumped fried rice, Thai basil chicken and a cheese enchilada on a plate and stuck it in the microwave. While they heated she put two slices of pizza and three egg rolls onto a cookie sheet. They could be his second course.

She poured a large glass of water and handed it to him. He took a drink. After setting the table, she opened a beer and set it by the place mat, then put the small cookie sheet in the oven and pulled the plate from the microwave. She set it in front of him.

“Eat.”

He picked up his fork. “Are you sure you don’t want some of this?”