The Crown (Queen of Hearts, #1)
Colleen Oakes
This book is for Ryan, forever the good king of my heart.
“How do you like the Queen?” said the Cat in a low voice.
“Not at all,” said Alice: “she’s so extremely—” Just then she noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she went on
“—likely to win, that it’s hardly worth while finishing the game.”
— Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
“Wisdom is much better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroyeth much good.”
— Ecclesiastes 9:18
Volume One:
The Crown
Chapter One
“Get up, get up, you’re late!” Harris hopped from one foot to the other, his plump face soaked with a cold sweat. He pulled his thick-rimmed glasses off and wiped them on his white checkered ascot. “Dinah! Get up! We are late, late, late!”
Dinah gave an unhappy moan and buried herself deeper under the thick covers, which were gilded with fine peacock feathers. “Mmrrpph . . . ,” she answered. She longed to return to her mid-afternoon dream—she had been wandering through the Twisted Wood, chasing an iridescent white butterfly, its skeleton glowing through its sheer skin. Just when she had closed her hand around its tiny body, the butterfly was yanked into the sky by something unseen. When she had looked down, its beating heart was still in her hand.
Dinah settled down into the mattress, fully awake now. Harris politely stood beside her bed, waiting. Bright Wonderland light streamed through her balcony windows.
“Harris, I order you to let me sleep. I was having a lovely nap.” She kicked a bare leg at him, narrowly missing the pocket watch that he was dangling over her body.
“Princess, you need to get up. We have a very important summons from the King of Hearts. Your father wishes to see you.”
Dinah pushed herself up from the bed with a yawn. Naps were an essential part of Wonderland life, and sometimes her favorite part of the day. She was naked and considered covering herself, but then thought better of it. Harris had seen her undressed a million times, seeing as how he had raised her from a child. She was right not to bother herself with worry, not about him. The chubby old man barely gave her a second look.
“Emily! Draw a bath for the Princess, right away. Extra hot.”
Dinah jutted out her strong chin. “I don’t want it hot. I like cold baths, thank you very much.”
Harris gave a belly laugh, the few remaining pieces of his white hair falling over his glasses. “Princesses don’t get to choose many things, Dinah, you know that.”
Dinah padded over to the side of the tub. Emily was filling it from a long silver swan neck that ran out of the ceiling and poured into the enormous black tub. Large cream bubbles the size of melons rose out of the tub. Dinah sighed unhappily.
“Why should I have to go to the Great Hall? I never get to say anything, and father won’t even talk to me.” Or look at me, she thought.
Emily patted her roughly on the head. “You shouldn’t say such things about the King of Hearts.”
Dinah put one chubby toe into the bath. The heat of the water raced up her leg, making her wince. “I hate bath day.”
“We know,” replied Emily and Harris.
Harris looked again at his silver pocket watch. “Go, go! We are very late indeed.”
Dinah let out a loud cry as she stepped into the tub. She growled at Emily, who dumped a large bucket of water over her head and began scrubbing her with two tiny hedgehog skins.
“Princess, your ears are filthy!” Emily cried. “What did you do today?”
“Nothing.” Listened to the ground, she thought. Rode Speckle. Climbed the Julla Tree. Had sword fights with Wardley near the stables. Spied on the Cards.
Dinah would rather be anywhere but in this bath tub, about to see her father. Her arm was yanked up and Emily attacked underneath it, scrubbing with a vigor that left Dinah feeling raw. She then went to work on Dinah’s torso and legs. With a hefty grunt, Emily helped Dinah out of the tub and placed her on the floor.