‘I can give you a lift, if you like?’ Paul offered, standing suddenly by Alicia’s side.
Taken by surprise, Alicia jumped, and then glanced warily at him.
‘No,’ she said quickly, preferring him to have as little contact with her family as possible. ‘Take the funeral car, Jess. I’ll take the taxi.’
‘Are you sure?’ Jessica eyes flicked between her and Paul.
Alicia nodded. ‘I’d be happier knowing Sophie’s left safely with you,’ she assured her, hoping her sister would get the message.
‘Okay,’ Jess said, looking a little reluctant. ‘Watch what you’re doing, Ali.’ Giving her a firm hug, she slid an arm around Sophie’s waist and led her on towards the car.
Her heart going into freefall, Alicia blinked her own tears back, determined to hold herself together, to harness the strength to try to hold her family together. She had to.
‘The offer still stands,’ Paul said, as Jessica and Sophie headed off. ‘My car’s just over there.’ He nodded towards it. It will save you waiting around for a taxi.’
Hesitant to go anywhere with him, Alicia tried to read his expression. His dark eyes were intent, determined. His smile, though, was sympathetic – no innuendo, she noted, somewhat calmed.
Guardedly, she nodded. It would be a chance to talk to him alone, perhaps her only chance, and she needed to. She had no choice but to. She had to find out what he wanted and then get him out of her life, out of Justin’s and Sophie’s lives, whatever it took.
‘Good,’ he said, leading the way. ‘It’s the least I can do, after all.’
Alicia followed him, bemused by the fact that he didn’t seem to realise the least he could do was to stay away from her, from her family.
‘Do you want to give me the address?’ he said, once they’d climbed into his car.
Alicia gave him the details, and then waited while he fiddled with the satnav.
‘Bear with me.’ He smiled in frustration. ‘It’s a rental car. I’m not quite sure where everything is yet.’
The address finally entered, Alicia looked out of the window as they drove slowly out of the cemetery. She wouldn’t talk to him here, where she’d just laid her beautiful, innocent baby to rest. It would be a desecration of his memory to even begin to discuss something that would hurt his father so badly.
Bye, little Lucas. Mummy will be back soon, sweetheart. Alicia closed her eyes as they passed through the gates, feeling afresh the wound in her chest where a piece of her heart had gone with him.
Ten minutes. She swallowed, calculating the time she must spend with Paul Radley until they reached the hotel, then steeled herself and turned towards him. ‘Why are you here, Paul?’ she asked him. Though calm on the outside, her emotions were in turmoil.
Paul glanced at her and then back to the road. ‘On holiday,’ he said, repeating what he’d told her at the party. ‘Looks like it’s going to be a bit of an extended stay now though.’
Alicia’s heart sank. ‘Oh, how so?’ she asked, bracing herself for what he might say.
‘I’ve been offered a contract to stay and head up some investment seminars by Graham & Young Investments.’ Paul turned again to look at her, his gaze lingering this time. ‘Obviously, they value my expertise. Just a short-term contract,’ he went on, smiling inscrutably and looking back to the road. ‘I should be on my way back to Dubai fairly shortly.
‘Okay?’ he asked her kindly, a second later, as Alicia wiped away another tear, this time one of relief.
Fifteen
JUSTIN
Counting steadily, his gaze fixed downwards, Justin kept walking. He didn’t much care where. He just needed space to think. He had to be getting this out of proportion. There was no way Alicia could have had an affair! He would have known. He would have known!
Had he read all the signs but refused to acknowledge it? He’d certainly wondered about her staying over at a girlfriend’s more than once. The evasive eye contact when he’d asked her which friend. He’d dismissed it. Told himself he was being paranoid. His biggest fear, when he’d woken up to the fact that he’d been so wrapped up in his grief over his family that he’d barely paid her any attention, had been that he would lose her. So, what if she had? Justin felt his heart drift free from its moorings. What then? He had absolutely no idea what he would do. None.
Reaching his road, he was surprised to see Jessica’s car parked outside the house. They must have left the funeral soon after he had. Probably because he had. He shouldn’t have, but how could he have stayed? How could he have made polite conversation when he felt as if he were dying inside?
Groping for some sort of composure, Justin let himself through the front door, where he found Jessica and Sophie in the hall.
‘Dad!’ Relief flooding her face, Sophie flung herself towards him. ‘Are you all right?’
Wrapping an arm around her, Justin squeezed her shoulders. ‘I’m okay, Pumpkin,’ he assured her, his throat tight. Glancing past her, he looked along the hall, and then, seeing no evidence of Alicia, looked questioningly back to Jessica.
‘I think Alicia’s gone to the reception to thank people,’ Jessica supplied. ‘Sophie was upset, so I offered to drive back with her.’
He shouldn’t have left his daughter. Justin glanced down at her, his gut wrenching as he noted her swollen eyes and smudged make-up. He hadn’t been thinking straight. Then again, maybe he had. Maybe he was now acknowledging something he’d refused to see before.
‘Why don’t you go and grab your stuff, Sophie?’ Jessica smiled encouragingly in Sophie’s direction. ‘I’ll have a quick word with your dad.’
Sophie looked uncertainly between them, and then nodded. She was halfway up the stairs when there was a knock at the front door.
Justin opened it to find Sophie’s friend Chloe standing there. ‘I just wondered if Sophie was okay,’ she said, glancing towards the stairs. ‘I can come back if you’re busy.’
‘It’s okay, Chloe,’ Sophie called, coming back down. ‘Ten minutes,’ she said to Jessica.
Justin smiled, feeling relieved, as she headed past him to go outside, probably wanting to talk in private. He was glad she had a friend who obviously cared. She would need one – perhaps more than she knew.
Jessica waited until the front door had closed. ‘She’s coming to stay with me for a while, if that’s okay?’ she said, smiling sympathetically at Justin. ‘She was actually very upset after you’d gone. And Alicia was… Well, you know, busy talking to people. I thought it might be a good idea to get Sophie away from the house for a few days.’
‘Right.’ Justin nodded tightly, guessing Jessica had diplomatically stopped short of stating the obvious: that Alicia had been too busy talking to her ‘old acquaintance’ to notice how upset her daughter was. ‘And is Sophie okay with that?’ he asked, concerned that she might feel pushed out in some way.
‘I think she could use some breathing space, to be honest,’ Jess said, obviously well aware of the emotional toll all of this would have had on her. ‘I thought we’d watch some girly films together, go out for a meal maybe. You know, do normal stuff. It might do her good.’
Justin guessed it probably would. Things had been far from normal here. Judging by their conversation the other night, pushed out was exactly how Sophie did feel.
‘She needs you, Justin,’ Jess reminded him – as if she needed to. ‘Alicia’s bound to be a bit preoccupied now, but Sophie’s going to need someone to talk to.’
Preoccupied with what, exactly? ‘So it would seem,’ Justin said, heading past her to the lounge. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the hall.