Savor Me

“What?” I breathe as fear starts to course through my body. Suddenly, I’m awake and frantically searching his face for answers.

“Shhh.” He tucks my hair behind my ear. “I won’t leave you, Lace. Calm down, okay?” he soothes me. He rubs his thumb back and forth across my cheek until my breathing evens out. “You just have to stop punishing me like that, or…”

“Or what? You say you won’t leave, so what is the or?”

“Jesus, Lace. Just stop doing it and I won’t have to figure it out.”

Suddenly, it hits me. I’ve never asked him the one question that brought us together. “What’s your biggest fear, Mason?”

“You.”

My head snaps up with his answer, realizing the weight of his words. “Me?”

“Well, more like losing you to Hunter. But yeah. You.” He shrugs then leans down to kiss my forehead.

“Mason…” I try to find words. Is he afraid Hunter and I will leave him? I can relate to that. But somehow I know it’s more.

“Go back to sleep, Lace. Please just stop using him against me.”

I scoot up the bed, resting my head on his pillow instead of my usual spot on his chest. I want to see him and be able to kiss his face. Even if it’s not his lips, it’s the closest he will give me. I pepper kisses across his cheek. He offers me a sad smile and rolls on his side to face me.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, staring at his mouth.

“Go to sleep, Lace.”

“I’m yours right now. In this second, I’m completely yours. You can kiss me, Mason.”

He lets out a sigh, shaking his head. “Go to sleep, Lace,” he repeats, rejecting me like he always does. I begin to roll away, when his words flash into my mind.

I freeze, willing myself to stay still before offering him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, habit.”

“It’s okay,”

“I’ll try harder.”

He nods and drops his forehead to mine. “It just scares me. Every time you roll into his arms, I think it’s more than just a simple action. I worry that it’s a final choice.”

I’m shocked by his admission. He’s exposing a lot of himself tonight. That’s not exactly something Mason does often.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I just thought it just made you mad. I was being a brat. That’s all.”

“You really are a brat sometimes.” He lets out a small chuckle.

I lean forward, gently kissing his face, careful to avoid his lips so not to cause any more problems. As much as I want to kiss him, I want him to want to kiss me too.

“Mason, how do you see this whole thing ending?” I ask. I can’t help but think about the end. No matter how good this may be now, there is always an end. I’m in too deep with these guys, and this isn’t a lifestyle that can be maintained.

“I told you I won’t leave you, Lacey. So when and how this ends will have to be your decision.”

I know he means those words to be reassuring to me. He wants me to know that I’m safe with him, but they only make me panic. I won’t be able to leave Mason, but I can’t truly be with him either. I move to hide my face in his neck. I won’t cry, but I’m terrified of what I’ll say if stare into his eyes for even a minute longer.

“I liked you better up here. I hate not being able to see you.” He slides down the bed, bringing us once again nose to nose. I close my eyes to hide from the emotions.

A few minutes later, I fall asleep wrapped securely in his arms. If only I could have stayed awake a few minutes longer, I would have felt his lips brush mine for the very first time.





“HUNTER!” I SCREAM AS we walk into the restaurant on Friday night.

“What?” He tries to pretend that he didn’t just shove his entire arm up my dress. I have got to start wearing pants more often.

“Stop.” I bat his arm away.

“You didn’t say stop this morning.” He laughs, throwing an arm around my shoulders.

“No, but if you keep it up, I will tonight.”

He laughs louder. Leaning down, he kisses my hair and whispers, “Liar.”

We walk hand in hand into the restaurant. Mason got here ahead of us. He was over at the college helping some of the students prep for a big show next weekend. He’s already sitting in the booth when I slide in on the opposite side. Hunter slides in beside me.

“Hey, Mase.” I smile, and he gives me a subtle lip twitch, which I’ve learn is the equivalent of a full-blown smile for Mason.

In the two months since this whole arrangement started, Mason has always stuck to the ‘no touching in public’ rule. Everyone thinks I’m with Hunter, and I know that bothers him. Especially when someone flat-out calls me Hunter’s girlfriend. I used to correct them, but as time passed, it just got annoying. Thankfully, Hunter doesn’t push it. He never introduces me as his girlfriend. I’m always just Lacey. Except to Mason.

“Hey, Lace.”