“There could be endless philosophic discussions about that statement. MacDuff prefers that I don’t explore them. Let’s just say that I am what I am.”
“And that’s good and shining inside,” she said fiercely. “I’ve always known that.”
“You can’t know. And you’ve never asked me anything about that time.”
“I was waiting for you to tell me.”
“You would have waited a long time. I’ll never take you down to that particular hell, Cara.”
“Then that’s okay. As long as you know I’d go with you if you asked me.”
He nodded slowly as he reached out and took her hand. “Oh, I know that, Cara. That’s what this is all about. I thought I’d take another shot at stepping away, so you wouldn’t be tempted to follow me.”
She could feel the painful knot inside her loosen and begin to dissolve. It was going to be all right. This was the Jock she knew. Her hand tightened on his. “I thought you might be angry about my going to New Orleans with my grandfather.”
“That was part of it. I had to go and check something out anyway, so I decided I’d take the opportunity to see whether if I expressed my displeasure in the cruelest possible form, you might change your mind.”
“I made my grandfather a promise.”
“And I’m tired of hearing that,” he said tersely. “But evidently I’ll have to try to give you a reason other than the fact that the entire situation makes me crazy. So I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing for the last three months.”
“Besides avoiding me.”
He smiled faintly. “I’m not going to be forgiven for that, am I?”
“No. It hurt too much.”
“So did the idea that you were going into the mouth of the lion again.” He made a motion as she opened her mouth to speak. “Let me get this over with. You know I’ve never liked the idea of your being in New York alone while you were going to school? I’ve told you often enough.”
“Yes you have. But it’s not as if the school isn’t safe. Juilliard was superstrict, and when I transferred to Carnegie Tech, it was the same. Carnegie Tech is the best music academy in the country, and you said yourself the living quarters are like a nunnery. Eve and Joe believe I’m safe there.”
He shrugged. “Maybe if you were anyone else, you would be safe. But you’re the granddaughter of a Mafia kingpin who wields a hell of a lot of power both in Russia and Europe. He’s a criminal, and there’s nothing stable about criminals. Because of his power, he’s made enemies galore in the other crime families and of the people he’s victimized. Any one of them would be delighted to get their hands on you so they could hurt Kaskov in the most personal way possible.”
“You’ve said that before, but I’ve gone to this school for years, and no one has made any move on me yet.”
“No, they haven’t.” He paused. “Not yet.”
She stiffened. “That sounded menacing.” She tried to smile. “Is there supposed to be some dramatic John Williams music playing in the background?”
“It’s like you to connect everything to music. This is menacing.” He grimaced. “And you’re probably not going to like it. I’ve had someone keeping an eye on you since you’ve been here.”
“What?”
“I told you that you wouldn’t like it. Jim Stanton is very good, unobtrusive, and he never takes chances with his clients. It made me feel better.”
“And a waste of your money.”
He grinned. “I have lots of that commodity these days. I didn’t consider it a waste if it made me happier about your situation.” He looked at her warily. “It’s not as if Stanton interfered with you in any way. You didn’t even know he was around. He was just there in the background.”
“And not necessary.” She shook her head. “You act as if I should be angry with you. Am I supposed to bristle because you’ve attacked my independence? I know how easy it is to kill people. You turn your head, and someone you love is dead. If I thought that someone was trying to hurt you, I’d hire a Stanton to watch you if I could afford him.”
He flinched. “Please don’t do that. I have a tendency to act instead of ask questions.”
“I just hate that you wasted your money.”
His smile faded. “You’ve forgotten that ‘yet’ accompanied by your John Williams music. About the time you were blowing my mind about going to New Orleans to visit Kaskov, Stanton was giving me a report. He said that you were being shadowed. At first, he wasn’t certain. Whoever was doing it was very good. And even after he caught a glimpse of the tail and confirmed, he couldn’t be certain how long the surveillance had been going on. But he must have realized pretty quickly that Stanton had made him, and the surveillance stopped.”
Cara was feeling her heart pounding. Someone watching. Someone waiting. All through her childhood, she’d been on the run, changing cities, changing schools because there might be a threat behind her. Now it was suddenly here again. “And nothing since then?”
“Not that he’s been aware of. He watched and waited, but he didn’t see anyone following you.”
“Then it could have been anyone. Maybe some pervert who likes schoolgirls.”
“Except that Stanton said he was exceptionally good at what he was doing.” He made a face. “And prepare for another John Williams moment. Stanton got uneasy after a week or so and decided to check something else. He managed to get into your quarters to have a look around.”
She frowned. “Now that’s not cool, Jock.”
“No, it wasn’t. Because he found out that the room had been bugged.”
She stared at him, stunned. “Why? For goodness sake, I play the violin, and I talk to Eve and Michael. Why would anyone want to listen to me do either of those things?”
“You’ve forgotten. You also harass me,” he said dryly. “Though I haven’t given you the opportunity recently. And listening to you play is a treasure in itself, but I’m not sure that’s why he’d bug your room. I’m going with the idea that since he no longer had direct access to you, he wanted to know everything he could find out by other means.” He looked down at her violin. “Like this concert. How were you going to get there?”
“There’s a special bus from the school.”
“Easy to watch. Easy to access.”
She moistened her lips. “Maybe. But there are other performers almost everywhere I go.”
“Almost.” He muttered a curse. “I’m scaring you. I don’t want to do that. Or maybe I do. Because I’ve spent the last few months in Moscow trying to tap every contact I have to see if there are any rumblings about Kaskov. Or if there’s any talk about any of the Mafia families who have been particularly vocal about what kind of mayhem they’d like to practice on him.”
“And what did you find out?”
“Nothing conclusive. Which made me frustrated and mad as hell and sent me back here to see if I could find out anything more from Stanton.”
“And to let me know that I was harassing you.” She looked down at their joined hands. “You did scare me. It brought back too many memories.”
“I know it did. But you’re not alone now. I’ll never let anything happen to you.” He added grimly. “Just stay away from Kaskov. Don’t go to New Orleans.”
“You said you didn’t find out anything in Moscow. Maybe it doesn’t matter if I go to New Orleans or not.”
“And maybe it does.” His lips tightened. “You said you were frightened, but you’re still not saying that you’re not going to go.”
“I have to think about it. I’m a little … shook right now,” she said. “So stop trying to bully me into doing what you want.”
“Cara.”
“I have to think.” She leaned forward. “There’s the auditorium up ahead. Are you going to stay and listen to me?”
He didn’t answer.
“Don’t shut me out again,” she whispered. “It didn’t work, and it hurt both of us.”
He hesitated, then he lifted her hand up to his lips and kissed her palm. “I wouldn’t miss listening to you play. You’re right, it didn’t work.” He released her hand as they drew up to the curb. “That sign says it’s sold-out. Can you smuggle me in the stage door?”