More than fine, actually. The minute Dex got the mic, he was hamming it up to the extreme. His voice was flawless and better than Herb’s. He was acting the song out, stepping off the stage and serenading all the women at the Amanda Panda table, telling them all that he needed and wanted their love.
I know I had a stupid smile on my face as I watched him. I couldn’t help it and I didn’t care who it saw it.
Then he left the table, the women’s gazes following him adoringly. He walked over to our table. My heart pounded loudly in my head. He started singing to Rebecca and Emily first. They giggled in response.
Then he turned to Jenn. And, at the most dramatic part, he belted the song out…to her. His voice soared, his eyes fixed on her and she…she just looked away. She looked at Bradley. And as much as I hated the fact that Dex tried one last attempt to “woo” Jenn or make things right with her, it broke my heart to see his beautiful effort going to waste right in front of him.
But if it bothered him, he didn’t show it. He just cruised back to the stage, giving a few high fives to the Riff Raff crew before he stepped back on.
He continued the song, but this time his attention was only in one place and in one place to the end.
It was straight ahead.
On me.
Every note he sang, every gesture he made to his heart, he made it without breaking eye contact with me. The rest of the room seemed to drift away, fizzling out at the corner of my vision. According to the lyrics, he needed me to say I was I love with him...this guy. And I beamed it back at him, unable to look away. Because…I was in love with that guy. It was a poignant moment between the two of us and it was a moment we would always have, no matter what happened tomorrow.
When the song wound down and he was swaying to the remaining beats, Jenn and Bradley both got up, walked around the tables and left the room. I don’t know if anyone else besides Rebecca and Emily noticed. Maybe Fae. And definitely Dex. His eyes darted to the side and followed their forms as they left. And his posture shrank by at least a foot.
Dex took the mic and tossed it up at the MC, who caught it awkwardly. Then Dex casually leaped off the stage and went down the corridor as if to follow Jenn and Bradley.
I looked at Rebecca, unsure if I should do something.
“Go after him,” she said determinedly. “And if looks like he’s about to beat up Bradley, well then, for heaven’s sake…let him!”
I nodded and got out of my seat. I walked quickly out of the room, hoping no one thought the mass of people who just left the room was a bit suspicious. Maybe no one would notice that half of Wine Babes and all of Experiment in Terror was missing.
I walked as fast as my killer pumps would allow, not dwelling on the blisters that had formed on top of my toes (thanks, stupid toe pads), past the washrooms and through the restaurant. It was getting late now and the place was only half-full with late-night revelers. They all eyed me as I hurried past.
I burst out of the front doors and into the absolute chill of the night. The front of building was deserted; only a taxi cab and a lone car were slowly cruising down the street. The snow was now at least two inches high and falling steadily. It was cold as hell but, for the moment, my drunk skin didn’t feel it.
I looked around, up and down the streets that branched off. I didn’t see anyone at all. It was like all of Seattle had shut down due to the miniscule amounts of white stuff.
A movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn to my left. At the corner of the brick building, a lone puff of smoke emerged.
I walked carefully, trying not to slip on the wet, icy ground beneath me, and poked my head around the corner.
Dex was there, leaning against the wall, watching the empty street in front of him and smoking a cigarette.
“Dex?” I said gently, afraid to startle him.
He looked over at me and gave me a quick, sheepish smile after he noticed me looking at the cigarette in his hand. “Sorry,” he mumbled, taking another drag. “I had to. I bummed it off a…bum.”
I gingerly made my way over to him, keeping one hand on the brick wall for support, and stopped right up next to him. I peered at his face, looking for signs of pain.
He glanced at me quickly, frowned and looked away. “What is it?”
“Are you OK?” I asked. I placed my hand on the crook of his elbow.
He looked down at my hand, bit his lip for a few seconds, then let out a large exhalation of smoke that floated up into the falling snowflakes. They had started to gather in his hair.
I waited patiently for his answer, even though I knew he wasn’t OK. I tightened my grip around his arm, trying not to feel the snow that was gathering on my bare shoulders and legs.
“Where did Jenn and Bradley go?” I asked quietly.
He shrugged. “To fuck somewhere, I’m sure.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He smiled at me. There was sadness on his brow but an odd little twinkle in his eye. It was a strange combination.
“I’m sorry too,” he said. “Hope you realize I really need this smoke.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you started sticking it straight into your veins.”
“Now that’s a good idea,” he said. He smiled but it quickly faded and he stared down at his dress shoes as they stood out against the white snow. He eyed me quickly. “You must be freezing.”
“I’m not,” I said, hoping my teeth wouldn’t start chattering on cue.
He rolled his eyes and smirked. He stuck the cigarette in his mouth, hanging it loosely from his lips, took off his suit jacket and placed it around my shoulders. He pulled me in closer to him at the same time. I instinctively put my nose to the collar and breathed in.
“You’re smelling it,” he observed, sounding amused.
“I like the smell of you,” I admitted shyly. I felt like we were rounding some home stretch and the finish line was in sight. It didn’t matter anymore what I said. I was sending my pride and ego packing.
He swallowed hard and took in another drag of his smoke, not breaking our eye contact. “Is that all you like about me?”
I took in a deep breath and said, “I just…like you. I like everything about you.”
And with that, I could almost hear dramatic drumming in my head, the swirls of disorienting guitar, like the turbulent ending of “Something.” I could feel it pulsing through my veins, I could feel it in the snow-filled air around us, I could feel it vibrating off of both our bodies, like we were both attached to some electrical source, some furnace, and the switches were all being flipped on. The air in my lungs was becoming heavier and catching on the way out.
Dex came off of the wall and turned toward me. The energy between us intensified. He took the cigarette and flicked it out onto the road just as another cab cruised by, slowing down slightly as it drove past us. I paid no attention. The only thing I saw was Dex’s face and his eyes as they gazed down at me more rapturously than before.
He took his hand and gently brushed the snow off my hair, tucking stray pieces between my ears. He let his hand drift down to the edge of my jaw and held it there, a surge of heat against the cold.
“You’ve always been there for me, Perry,” he said with what sounded like velvet rocks in his voice. “Even from the very beginning, even if you never meant to be, even when you shouldn’t have been. You’re the light in all this madness. You’re my light. I should have been with you...” The thought hit him as his face crumpled in amazement. “Oh God, why am I not with you?”
“Because you’re an idiot,” I said.
And then I kissed him.