On cue, Seb and Dean went “Ooooh” again.
I avoided looking at Dex and kept my eyes on her. Surprisingly, Rebecca aligned with me and said, “Yeah, Jenny. What do you mean by fairy tales?”
She shrugged and put her sanitizer away.
“I just mean that ghosts don’t exist. And neither do unicorns. Or happily-ever-afters. Fairy tales.”
I sat back and finally had to look at Dex. He was smiling, sure, but it was an uneasy smile that didn’t reach his eyes. He was looking straight forward at a space on the wall between Rebecca and Seb, obviously feeling stuck in the middle.
“I see,” I said slowly. I wanted to argue with her but I had been doing so well so far. We had been getting along and as much as I wanted to, I didn’t need to rock the boat.
Finally I said, “Well that’s fair enough. There’s definitely more unbelievers that there are believers.”
“And more smart people than dumb people,” she added before stuffing a dainty forkful of salad in her mouth.
Dex tensed beside me; I think he knew I was about to go volcanic on her.
I didn’t though. I took in a quick, deep breath, calmed my newly caffeinated nerves, and pasted on a huge smile.
There were so many things I could say. More smart people than dumb people? Did she just dare insinuate that I was dumb and that she, she, who didn’t know the difference between “What’s New Pussycat” and “Stairway to Heaven”, was smart? My brain was on overload.
But I just said, “Very true. Thank god for dumb people though; you need someone to believe that you should drink a 2008 Riesling with a fucking KFC Double Down.”
Instead of an “oooh” like I had expected, there was a brief, stagnant pause while everyone collected their thoughts and then Seb and Dean erupted into hoots of laughter. Even Rebecca was snickering, despite the fact that it was her show too that I was insulting.
I looked over at Jenn for her reaction. Her cheeks were a bit pink and her eyes were glazed with a hard, almost icy exterior. But she put on a smile that rivaled my fake one earlier.
“Well played,” she admitted breezily, and went back to picking at her “meal.”
“For the record, Perry,” Rebecca said, reaching across the table and putting her soft white hand on top of mine. Her rounded maroon fingernails were mesmerizingly polished. “We know we cater to idiotic buggers. But I think what you and Dex are doing is really cool.”
Dex was still staring at that spot on the wall, like he was stuck in some weird freeze frame, so I looked as gracious as possible. “Thanks.”
“In fact,” she went on, “we were just talking about what a name you two have created for yourselves.”
Finally Dex brought himself to reality. “What do you mean?”
“You haven’t seen it?” she asked, exchanging a quick look with Dean.
“Seen what?” I asked. Dex looked as puzzled as I felt.
“There’s another ghost hunting show, called Spook Factory,” Dean explained. “Just like you guys. A guy, a girl, only they both claim to be ghost whisperers or whatever, and it’s exclusively online as part of that Fantasy Network. I’m surprised you missed that, Dex.”
“I’ve been moving,” he said quietly, almost to himself.
“Well, what…what have they done, have you watched it? Is it good?” I asked, feeling more than a bit icky about the whole Spook Factory thing. Copycats? Already?
“Yeah, I’ve watched it and it’s, like, OK. It’s total bullshit though. Both of them are just uneducated d-bags, but they look good, so people watch it. Their background is obviously in modeling and nothing else. No offense, Jenn.”
She looked at him sharply but didn’t offer any feedback. It wasn’t surprising at all to hear that Jenn got her start in modeling.
“Especially the guy in this case,” Rebecca said. “He looks like he should be in an Ed Hardy catalogue, and get this, his name is G.J. Jermaine”
I chuckled. “G.J.? That’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard.”
“It stands for Geoff Jermaine,” Dean added.
“His name is Geoff Jermaine Jermaine? I stand corrected.”
Dex pulled out his iPhone and pulled up Google.
“What about the girl?” I asked. As if I wasn’t feeling competitive enough to begin with.
Rebecca shrugged and put her glossy hair back behind her ears. “Annie something. She looks like a blonde, frazzle-haired witch, so it’s fitting. But, you know, the show just started and they’ve been showing two episodes a week.”
“Annie Potterson,” Dex mumbled as he scrolled through the internet. He took his phone and placed it in front of me. “Here’s our competition.”
I looked down at the screen and felt bad for a second. Dex had lost his previous iPhone to the depths of the Haro Straight, along with his camera equipment. He obviously had to buy another one, straight out of his own pocket, and here he was showing me our rival ghost-hunting team, copycats, and apparent douchebags, who were already beating us at our own game. Two episodes a week?
Anyway, I only needed a quick glance to know what we were up against. Sure, Annie was slim with obvious fake boobs, but she had horrid unfeeling, dead eyes and crazy lady hair. A witch indeed. And G.J. looked like a G.J., a cross between Vin Diesel and a sandy-haired frat boy.
“What, does he go around kicking ghosts in the balls or something?” I was trying to make light of it but I could see Dex was deeply troubled by this.
“Ha. It’s kind of flattering though, right?” Rebecca said. “This only just started and it’s all because of you guys.”
“And they’re in town right now,” Dean put in.
“What?” Dex eked out slowly, his lip curling downward.
“Yeah. Their blog said they were in town to investigate the Harvard Exit Cinema in Capitol Hill.”
“What’s that?” I asked. Dex shook his head.
“Old news. One of the most haunted places in Seattle, but fuck, there’s been a fucking ton of ghost hunters and paranormal experts there. For decades. It’s nothing new and nobody finds anything.”
“Gee, I wonder why.” Jenn snickered to herself. Dex’s eyes flared dangerously but he was able to rein them in quickly and ignore her.
“If it makes you feel better, Jenn and I have competition of our own,” Rebecca said as she rapidly twirled her linguini around her fork.
“Oh yeah,” Dex said, leaning back in his chair. He took a quick sip of his drink and wiped his lips with the back of his hand. He looked at me. “A TV network has started Vintage Vixens. It hasn’t come out yet, we’ve just seen the ads for it. But it’s basically the same fucking idea.”
Ouch. Rebecca didn’t seem too bothered by it though.
“It was bound to happen. I don’t know what these new girls are like, but the fans that we have know us and like us, so I’m not too worried.”