“Come to lunch with me.”
Her body clamored to say yes, but it had led her astray before. She’d let this exact feeling once convince her that he cared about her. “Thank you, but no.” She went to turn away. He surprised her by closing his hand around her upper arm.
Her heart raced in her chest at the tantalizing image of how he would be now. They’d taught each other the basics. What had he learned since? Stop.
He leaned in and his breath tickled her lips. “Are you married?”
She shook her head to clear it. “No, but—”
“Is your boyfriend so jealous that you can’t catch up with an old friend?”
“I don’t have—”
“Then come to lunch with me.”
Saying no and walking away would have been her wisest choice. Part of her remembered how good saying yes to him had been in the past—at least in the beginning. Neither was enough for the woman she’d become. “Why?”
Her question seemed to take him by surprise. “Does there have to be a reason?”
The conversation was going nowhere, and Hailey reminded herself that the only important outcome was one that didn’t upset Delinda. “It was nice to see you, Spencer. You seem to be living the life you wanted. I’m happy for you, but I really do have to go.”
His grip tightened. “Were you here the other day?”
“Yes.”
“I knew it. I saw you enter the building. You looked up at me. Did you know it was me in the window?”
Part of her had. She looked away. “No.”
“Liar.”
She hated the blush that warmed her cheeks. Lying had never come easy to her, but in this case it was necessary. “I have no reason to lie.” No reason I’ll tell you about.
He leaned in closer and spoke into her ear. “What if I said I’m glad you’re here? I’ve been thinking about you, Sunshine.”
His old endearment had tears welling in Hailey’s eyes. When they’d first started dating, she used to tease him that he spent too many hours holed up in his garage. He’d joke that he didn’t need to go out because the sunshine came to him. She wasn’t as swayed by his charm this time around. This time isn’t about what I want, and it’s better all around if I don’t feel anything. “Please let go of my arm.”
He did. “I understand why you left the way you did. It doesn’t matter anymore.”
Old anger she’d thought was long gone surfaced. “Did it ever matter to you? Did I? Because I’ve asked myself that a thousand times—until I stopped caring about the answer. I don’t want to do this, Spencer. I don’t want to rehash what’s over.”
With that, she walked away from him and into a conveniently open elevator. Her eyes sought his. He looked as miserable after their exchange as she felt. It was a relief when the doors finally closed and she was swept away from him. She made it to her car on shaky legs.
“Is everything okay?” Pete asked.
It was only then that she realized her cheeks were wet from tears. She wiped them away impatiently. “Yes. Sometimes air-conditioning makes my eyes water.”
He nodded politely and opened the rear door to the car. “Where to now?”
She slid in and tried to gather her thoughts. “Back to the house, but would you mind taking the long way?”
“Of course,” he said gently before he closed the door.
As they pulled away from the office building, Hailey refused to look back. She kept her eyes on the path ahead, but her mind betrayed her intentions by filling with memories from long ago.
Even as a freshman, Spencer had been well known around campus. He’d gotten there on a football scholarship, but his passion was technology, which made him stand out in both worlds. Gorgeous. Brilliant. Driven. Hailey, with her undecided major and full figure, would have never had the courage to approach him on her own. It had been her study partner, Jordan Cohen, who had introduced them.
The first time they’d met, Spencer had been a muscular giant hunched over a tiny keyboard in his mother’s garage, writing code. He looked up, their eyes met and held, and they both smiled. And—just like that—they’d known. Life could be complicated and difficult or as easy and amazing as taking a deep breath and leaping.
Hailey couldn’t remember him ever asking her out or ever agreeing to see him. They had simply connected. She’d gone to see one of his games, then he’d invited her to join the team for pizza to celebrate the victory. Afterward he’d taken her back to his damn garage to show her a program he was working on . . . and there, in the mix of all his crazy computers, he’d kissed her.
It had felt more than good, it had felt—right. She’d never believed in soul mates or love at first sight, but their connection was undeniable. He made her smile so much her face hurt. He told her that kissing her was better than the rush of adrenaline that followed successfully executing new code.
They met before classes, started and ended each day to the sound of each other’s voices, and tested each other’s willpower with kisses that drove them both wild. When he’d admitted he was inexperienced, Hailey handed him her heart and her body. He was the one she’d retained her virginity for. Uncomplicated, mutual lust for each other with no reason to deny themselves the pleasure. She doubted there was a corner of his house or the dorm where they hadn’t had sex. And it had been good—so, so good.
Years later, it was too easy to remember the sound of his laugh, the feel of his lips as they grazed her skin. He’d been her first, but he wasn’t her last. Her breath shouldn’t quicken at the memory of his touch. She shouldn’t be able to lick her lips and remember his taste. No one else remained as torturously vivid.
None of that matters, though. I can ask myself what would have happened if my father hadn’t died. If I had handled the loss better. If I had given Spencer another chance. So many ifs that don’t change a damn thing in the end.
I have Skye. She’s what matters.
And Delinda. She wanted me to meet him. Why? To make sure it wouldn’t be an issue? I won’t let it be.
Things are going too well.
During breakfast that morning Hailey had told her niece she had an errand to run for Delinda. Skye had accepted it without an argument or hesitation. Every day we’re better than the day before.
Skye had smiled—smiled. “So I’ll stay with Delinda?”
“Mrs. Holihen will be here for your lessons.”
Skye had nodded, then asked, “May I have my lessons at the main house?”
“Oh—I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I’ll take you over there later today.”
“Please,” Skye had begged and Hailey’s heart had clenched in her chest. She likes her new teacher. She’s talking again. How can I say no when she asks me for nothing else?
“Okay, I’ll ask Delinda if you can visit with Mrs. Holihen while I’m out.”
“She’ll say yes,” Skye had said with confidence. “I make her happy.”
“Yes, you do.”