Air.
I took a deep breath through my mouth, the muscles in my jaw aching.
Feeling.
I felt those fingertips touch my lips and I tried to speak but I succumbed to the gentleness, the faint feeling of security enveloped me and I was lost to anything else. I felt the person lean over me and gently untie the knot from the blindfold wrapped around my head blocking my vision. The blindfold fell from me and I was blinded by the light as the darkness shed.
I blinked.
Dark soulful eyes gazed into mine and I heard the gasp escape my lips.
“You,” I sobbed, the word barely audible.
“Me,” Jack whispered.
I relived those few moments when Jack rescued me every night for a week after he brought me home. One would think that dreaming about my time captive would be considered a nightmare, but my rescue was no nightmare and I welcomed the dream. The moment the blindfold dropped to the floor and my eyes met Jack’s was pure bliss.
Those eyes, the darkest eyes I had ever seen.
The ones that got me every single time.
I remember staring into his eyes and seeing the change in them when adoration turned to love. It was the moment he looked at me as if I was an angel that had dropped from the sky and landed at his feet. The first time he uttered that single word.
You.
Who knew one word as simple as that one would hold so much meaning? One word tied to the biggest revelation either of us would ever know.
I know now the meaning of the word, you. At least for me and Jack, I do. It means finally being aware that I’ve found the missing piece of my heart. It means I’ve waited my whole life for you and now here you are. It is knowing that because of you I am now complete. It means you’ve healed me. It means I love you.
You, you’re everything.
You’re the moon and the stars.
You’re my whole world.
You’re the one I give my life too.
And with discovering what you meant for us, I also learned another word.
Me.
A single word that affirms every promise.
Me, the one who will pick you up when you fall.
Me, the one who will chase away all the demons.
Me, the one who will always heal you.
Me, the one who promises to always complete you.
Me, the one who owns your heart.
Me, the one who loves you more than anyone.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
I could stare at her for the rest of my life and it still wouldn’t be enough. I could hold her in my arms until death called me home, and they’d still feel empty. I sounded like a pussy but it was true.
I’ve always felt out of control, a man not in charge of his life because of his illness but she’s healed me. I’ll always fight with my maker, always be a manic-depressive but I don’t have to fight those battles alone. Lacey won’t have to wonder if her dad will come back from his latest episode because I will always drag myself away from the darkness.
I’ve got sunshine now.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I whispered, as I wrapped a strand of hair around my finger and stared into her groggy eyes.
“Mmm,” she murmured, stretching her body. “Morning.”
I let the hair fall from my finger and took her hands in mine, glancing down at the bruises fading from her wrists and kissed where the ties marked her skin. I placed her arms around my neck and dragged her warm body over mine and stared up into her eyes.
That first glimpse of those eyes, after I asked her for a slice of pie, I recognized the pain and sadness reflected in them. I knew some of her story but not all of her scars.
You want more from me? You want my scars? You got to earn them.
Her eyes weren’t sad anymore and somehow, someway I earned those scars. With each one she gave me, I gave her one of my own.
Thirty-eight years old and I finally found my home. To think I almost lost her after waiting so long to find her. I remember pulling up to the café on 18th Avenue and fearing they wouldn’t be there. I questioned every move I made that led me to that point and was so frightened that I had made an error somewhere. I’d never forgive myself, not this time, not ever.
Riggs must’ve sensed my apprehension because after I broke down the door he walked in first to assess the situation. I never thought that hearing Riggs confirm Blackie was barely alive would be the words I so desperately needed to hear. They were there and they were alive.
The kid I underestimated sprang into action and went to work on saving our vice president. And me? I got the girl. I never wanted to be anyone’s hero until that moment. I removed the gag from her mouth first, watched as she took that first greedy breath through her mouth and felt my heart pound inside my chest.
She looked so frail and it became clear how close I came to losing her. She would not have lasted much longer and neither would have Blackie.