Ana put her hand on my arm. “I will go to her now,” she said, hesitating, as if asking my permission.
I nodded and Ana used her power to transform into the goddess but without the extra arms. That had not surprised me but I was surprised to see Fanindra had joined her. The snake peered over at Lokesh and hissed, jaws opening. “Not yet, my pet,” Ana said to Fanindra and then unfroze time around Yesubai. I could see she was channeling just enough energy to postpone the girl’s death. Ana knelt beside Yesubai and took her hand. “Hello, Yesubai,” she said. “I’ve always wanted to meet you.”
Yesubai tried to say something but only a breath stirred the air. Ana smiled softly and used her power to help. “You may speak if you wish,” she said.
“Who…who are you?” Yesubai asked. “What’s happening?”
“I am the goddess Durga.”
“A goddess?”
Yesubai asked if Ana was going to save everyone. Though Ana said no, I wondered if that was true. Ana had certainly saved me countless times.
“I don’t understand. Then why are you here?” the dying girl asked.
“As I said, I wanted to meet you.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to get a sense of who you are.” Ana glanced up at me. “Specifically, I wanted to know if you loved him.”
“Do I love who?”
Ana hesitated before answering, “Kishan.”
I came forward then, a frown on my face, and shook my head but Ana pressed on.
“Yes,” Yesubai answered softly. “I love him. I’m sorry about what happened with Dhiren. He’s a good man. He didn’t deserve to be abused in this way. If I could go back and do things differently, I would.”
“I believe you,” Ana said.
“They don’t deserve to have their fate tied to my own.”
“I do not wish for you to worry over their fate, Yesubai.”
“But Lokesh—”
Ana stroked the girl’s cheek, leaned down, and whispered, “Your father will be defeated but it will not happen in this time.”
“Will I live to see it?”
Ana opened her mouth but the answer was a long time coming. “I do not think as others do regarding knowing one’s future, so I will answer your question. You will not live out this day. The fall has broken your neck.”
“But I can heal myself,” Yesubai insisted.
Feeling defeated, I sunk down on the dais next to Ana and Yesubai, my head in my hands. While Ana explained to Yesubai that her gift was now gone, she reached over, clutched my fingers, and squeezed.
“Have I proved myself to you then?” Yesubai asked.
“You have nothing to prove to me, Yesubai.”
“Perhaps not, but Kishan said that a gift might be bestowed on even the lowliest of creatures whom the gods deem worthy.”
My breath caught. What would Yesubai wish for? To live? To have the goddess whisk the two of us far away from this chamber?
“What gift do you seek?” Ana asked, a catch in her voice.
“Will you…take care of him?”
Ana smiled softly at the selfless girl. “I will. I will watch over both of the princes. This I promise you.”
Next Yesubai asked the goddess to save her maid. Then she said her final words. The words that would be etched on my heart from that day forward.
Yesubai said, “Then the sacrifice was worth it.”
My heart stuttered. Is this sacrifice worth it? This beautiful, sweet, brave girl thought so. Ren thought so. Kadam too. If I had a chance to ask Kelsey, I know exactly what she’d say.
“Rest now, little one,” Ana said. “You are very brave.”
Ana stroked Yesubai’s hair and phased out of time, becoming invisible, then restarted the clock.
My old self skidded over and picked up the demure and dying girl. “Dayita, my love. Don’t leave me,” he begged.
Both of us felt it the moment Yesubai’s heart stopped beating.
Why did you ask her that question? I said to Ana.
Do you mean the one about her love for you?
I nodded.
You needed to know. A part of you always wondered if she truly loved you or if she was her father’s accomplice. As the raven, I watched what happened here from your perspective. That you cared for her deeply was obvious, but you carried the hurt around inside you for a long time. You blamed yourself for her death but you also blamed yourself for not seeing the trap.
She continued, It was the self-recrimination and guilt that I swallowed as the raven. As a result, you convinced yourself that Yesubai did not love you. This absolved you, somewhat, of the disloyalty you associated with loving Kelsey. The doubt regarding Yesubai’s motives, I couldn’t take away. Until now. This is why I asked. Yesubai loved you, Sohan. We must honor her for the gift she freely gave.
Ana touched her lips to my ear and whispered, Take a moment while I tend to Yesubai’s maid.
I gave her a quick nod and she disappeared. With a snap of my fingers, time froze again. I walked around the scene, looking at each person in turn. Even Lokesh, with a crazed expression on his face, was someone I needed to consider. Heading to the great pillars where the room opened to the jungle outside, I stood on the marble steps and looked out at the trees.
This was it.
My big choice.
Was I going to go through it all again, curse myself and Ren to be tigers, or take back my mortality and embrace the young prince I was supposed to have been?
If I gave it all up, I never would have met Kelsey or Ana. If the amulet remained, then Ren and I would fight Lokesh together, maybe even win, and the Damon Amulet would forever remain in pieces. Or, if we lost, then Lokesh would succeed in taking our pieces. He’d remake the amulet and rise to power, slowly going mad in the process and destroying himself and many others as he did so.
But then there was the other possibility. If Ana was correct, then without the tiger, the Damon Amulet would cease to exist, and Lokesh would be long dead by the time Ren and I were born. If that was the case, Ren and I would be back at home with our parents right now, preparing for the next phase of our lives. Yesubai would never have been born.
I rubbed my palm across my chest. There were too many variables. I wanted Kadam to tell me what to do. But hadn’t he already? Cursing myself to tiger form was on the list. He’d purposely saved it for last, but his suggestion was clear.
Even so, both he and Ana wanted to give me the opportunity to choose. In my heart, I knew what needed to be done. Now I just needed to summon the courage to do it.
My nostrils flared when I caught the scent of jasmine and roses. “Do you need more time?” Ana asked softly.
Turning, I pulled her into my arms. “No, my lady fair. I’ve made my choice.” Ana’s gaze dropped away. “But before this happens, there’s something you need to know.”
“What is it, Sohan?”
I paused. The words were there, waiting to be said. In my heart, I’d acknowledged the truthfulness of them already, but I’d held back, not wanting to be vulnerable in such a way again. And now, here I was, ready to made a decision that would change my life forever. The only thing that remained was Ana.
Touching my fingertip to her chin, I willed her to look at me. “Before I do this, I want to tell you…”
“Yes?”
“I want you to know that I love you, Ana.” Her mouth opened in a soft gasp. “I should have said it a long time ago.”
“When…when did you know?” she asked.
“It’s hard to say. When you gave me back my memories, my boyhood crush returned in full force. I guess if you look at it that way, I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve. I regret that it took me so long to acknowledge it. As you know, I am a bit hard-headed.”
Ana reached up and stroked my hair. I took hold of her hand and turned my head to kiss her palm.
“If this is the time for confessions, then I will admit that I, too, began to grow fond of you as a child.”