Tears spilled from my eyes because I knew my brother wouldn’t lie to me. Mom wasn’t coming back.
Stan crushed me to his side as I cried, and he continued narrating his story in a tone as soft as my sobs. “‘That sounds like a terrible life,’ little Rho said to the bird, horrified at the thought of never seeing her home again.
“But the bird’s beak widened as it smiled and shook its head. ‘Judging is a waste of time because most of what happens in our lives is out of our control. The only choice we get is what we do right now, with this moment. Every second is a choice we make.’”
I sniffled as I slid my face up on his shirt, which was stained with my tears. “So little Rho can choose to smile or frown as she walks through the feathers,” I said.
“Exactly,” said my brother. “You can get through anything, Rho. You just have to let go of your fears and keep moving forward.”
“How?” I asked.
He was quiet a moment, and then he said, “Don’t fear what you can’t touch.”
I sat up a little, sounding the line out in my mind. There was something empowering about it, and I loved how neatly it declawed the monsters I couldn’t fight, like my visions and my nightmares. And I knew then that I would survive the loss of Mom because I had Stan.
My brother was my strength, my guiding star, my anchor. It wasn’t just the times he saved me from my nightmares—it was the love and faith and patience he showed me our whole lives.
With Stan by my side, the monsters couldn’t touch me.
As long as my brother was safe, my fears weren’t real.
1
THIRTEEN MASKED SOLDIERS SURROUND ME in the cadaverous Cathedral on Pisces.
Heart hammering, I search beyond their white uniforms for a sign of my friends, but no one else is here. The lights of the Zodiac constellations hang overhead, and in the center, Helios is already starting to go dark. Half the sun is swallowed in shadow.
“Wandering Star Rhoma Grace,” says the Marad soldier directly in front of me. His greasy voice reminds me of Ambassador Charon of Scorpio. “You have been found guilty of Cowardice, Treason, and Murder. For these crimes, we sentence you to instant execution.”
My pulse pounds as thirteen cylindrical black weapons are simultaneously trained on my chest.
“Do you have any final words?” asks the Charon-like voice.
I try to speak in my own defense, but my mouth won’t open. I try to run, but my legs won’t move. I try to pinch myself, but even my fingers are paralyzed. This can’t be happening—it isn’t real—they can’t touch me—
“FIRE!” he cries.
My scream freezes on my lips as blue lights flash from every Murmur and blast into my chest at once, the pain so agonizing it incinerates my insides.
My body collapses to the bone floor, and the force of my fall is so strong that I blow right through the ground and get sucked down to an even deeper dimension of this hell.
I land on a flat field of prickly black feathers that scratch at my bare feet. The charcoal clouds above me darken and swirl, like a storm could blow through any moment.
My Lodestar suit has been replaced with a thin white dress, and the chilly air bites at my skin. A large silhouette materializes in the gray distance, and as it comes closer, the first thing I notice is it’s not human.
Its legs are thin as sticks, and tucked into its sides are great feathery wings. Something about the birdlike creature feels familiar, like I should recognize it, but I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
Lightning strikes the ground, illuminating the bird-man’s features: It’s missing an eye, its wings are studded with spikes, and its beak is soaked in blood.
I let out a high-pitched shriek right as thunder shakes the earth. Rain starts pouring down on me as I spin and run in the opposite direction.
My feet slide on the slippery feathers, and the soaked fabric of my dress clings to my skin as a shadow falls over me. I look up to see the bird-man diving down, its talons bearing on my head—
I roll into a ball, and the ground suddenly falls away, sloping down into a sharp descent. The lower I tumble, the faster I go, bumping my elbows, shoulders, and head on the slippery feathers again and again and again, until land runs out, and I roll into a roaring river.
My skin stings when it slaps the water, and I gasp for breath as the current tosses me around. The bird-man’s shadow falls over me again, and I dive underwater to escape it.
Almost immediately, the river starts to shrink until it’s too shallow to swim. When my head is in the clear, the creature’s talons reach down again, too close to evade—
I cry out as sharp nails pierce my shoulders.
Blood leaks out from the gashes, and it gurgles up my throat, my nerve endings searing in maddening agony until I hear my bones snap in the creature’s claws—
And then blackness entombs me.
? ? ?
I blink a few times at Helios’s brightness overhead, and as my vision adjusts, I realize it’s a ceiling light.
I’m lying on a bed, my heart racing like I’m still being chased. An incessant beeping in tune with my pulse comes into focus, and when at last my breaths start to slow, so do the mechanical chirps.
I look down to see clear tubes sticking out of my arms, and my vitals flashing across floating holographic screens. I’m in a hospital.
I raise my hands slowly, and my body feels heavy and sore, like I haven’t left this bed in weeks. I scan the empty room expecting to see someone. Someone important—only I can’t remember whom.
There’s one window in the small space, and it shows a dark, starless sky. My muscles are leaden, but I need to know what’s happened. Where I am. Who survived.
I gradually remove every needle from my veins, and I hug the armrest to pull myself up.
As my feet drop to the icy floor, oblivion beckons in my mind, and the world grows dark for a few beats. I rest my forehead on the bed, and when I feel steadier, I straighten my crinkly white hospital gown and slowly manage to shuffle out of the room.
Even though the shadowy hallway is empty, a prickle of unease climbs up the back of my neck, and I get the sense I’m being watched. Voices murmur somewhere nearby, and I use the metal handrail along the wall to hold myself upright as I walk in the sound’s direction.
“Don’t know what we’ll do if she doesn’t wake up soon.”
Hysan.
Relief floods through me, heating my skin, and I move as swiftly as my weakened muscles can carry me. My pulse quickens as soon as I spy his golden head through the partly open doorway of an unoccupied hospital room.
But I freeze when I see who’s with him.
“You look exhausted,” says a statuesque Ariean with flawless bronze brown skin and long cat eyes. Skarlet Thorne.