“I don’t care.”
I listened to his fading footsteps. All the trust and goodwill and friendship that I’d built with him was gone. He wouldn’t rat me out to the Brotherhood because that would mean ratting Ro out, but the man that had walked out of this room was no longer on my team. I’d lost Drio and my world was bleaker for it. I already missed the stupid psycho with his fierce devotion and wry take on the world.
No one would ever be Asha for him, but him and Leo could have been something new together, calming each other’s rough edges and brightening the dark parts. But if they each spiraled fully and completely into that darkness? I pressed the heel of my hand into my breastbone, rubbing at the sting, but it didn’t ease the hollow worry.
22
Ro was awake when I checked on him. “My magic,” he whispered, white-knuckling the sheets. “I can’t get it to work.”
Adrenaline spiked through me. I reached out for him, then froze. “At all?”
He rubbed his hands briskly over his arms. “When I reach for it, I hit a dead zone. I can’t…”
The anguish in his voice lashed me.
“It’s still there.” It had to still be there. “I’ll be back.”
I ran out of the room, sprinting into my bedroom to call Dr. Gelman. The screen on my burner phone had cracked in my outburst earlier, but it worked. I counted the rings, willing her to answer.
“Nava, now’s not a good time.”
“Please. I tried to heal Rohan and now his magic doesn’t work.” I slid down the wall, my hand pressed to my mouth, swallowing the metallic bile in the back of my throat.
“Coming,” she said and hung up.
I stood at the gate, gripping the iron bars, waiting for her to arrive. I hit the scanner the second I saw the car. Dr. Gelman’s sister, Rivka, was in the driver’s seat. She popped the locks on the door and I scrambled in the backseat. “Thank you.”
“No more breaking into my house.” The resemblance between her and Dr. Gelman, her younger sister, was strengthened by the aging that Gelman’s cancer had added to her features.
“Never again, I swear. I’m sorry.”
Rivka nodded and sped through the grounds.
I helped Dr. Gelman out of the car and up the front stairs, forcing myself to accommodate her slow pace.
“Isaac.” Rivka stopped inside the foyer.
My eyes darted between them. They’d dated years ago and he’d broken her heart. Should I have cleared this visit with him?
“Rivka. Esther.” He gave a half-bow, clearly puzzled.
“They need to help Ro,” I pleaded.
He patted my shoulder. “It’s all right, Navela. Take them to him.”
Ro was sitting in bed, his eyes closed. He kept tensing his muscles. No blades popped out.
“Ro?” I said.
“Not now.”
“Ah. The illustrious Rohan. We didn’t get a chance to meet in Prague.”
Rohan opened his eyes at the sound of Dr. Gelman’s voice. “Sorry?” He was giving me a what-the-fuck look.
I helped Dr. Gelman into a chair. “This is Dr. Gelman and her sister, Rivka.”
“Also Dr. Gelman,” Rivka said, moving to the side of Ro’s bed. “A real doctor, unlike this one.”
My Gelman snorted.
“I understand you’re having some trouble with your magic?” Rivka reached for his hand. “May I?” He placed his hand in hers. She clasped it, asking him what had happened. After he’d finished up, she nodded and placed his hand on the blanket. “Your magic is still there.”
“What’s the bad news?” he asked.
“It’s tangled up with the magic of the shedim and the other Rasha to such an extent that I can’t unravel it.”
“Is that all it is?” I backpedalled, seeing the flash of hurt on Ro’s face like somehow that wasn’t bad enough. “I mean, who can? Unravel it?”
“The demon and the Rasha are the sole causes,” Rivka assured me. Her sympathetic smile faded. “But I don’t know of any witch who has the power to break this. I’m sorry.”
Rohan swung his feet out of bed. “Forget it. Thanks for trying.” He strode to the door.
“Ro.”
He didn’t glance back.
The two women murmured platitudes about giving him time before they left. Their concern was wasted on me. I thanked them and walked them to their car, but I couldn’t get rid of them fast enough.
I’d scoured every inch of the house and most of the grounds before I found him.
Rohan had hidden away in a secluded back corner of the garden, sitting on the ground, his back against a tree. His knees were drawn up to his chest, his arms covering his head, the only sound his harsh, broken exhales.
Giving up his music had cost him, but he’d been able to get back to it. Losing his magic? It would destroy him. He had to have his powers. That’s all there was.
And I could get it back for him even if it was the worst thing I ever did.
“Who says the offer is still on the table?” Lilith had accepted my container of red velvet cupcakes from the finest cupcake store in town as her due. She licked the last of the frosting off her fingers. “Especially with your new condition on the agreement.”
A light breeze provided relief to the evening heat, teasing the strands of her hair and the hem of her coral sundress. White-capped waves danced under a brilliant blue sky, and the beach-goers here at English Bay were in a festive mood.
Where was the rain and gloom when you needed it? If I was going to step into the role of cold-hearted betrayer, I didn’t need the fucking sun mocking me. I wanted my treachery on an appropriate stage, my villainy for all to see, because the thought that I could do this and get away with it, even coming out like some kind of hero, was killing me.
I am David, thinking outside-the-box. Fighting on my own turf and playing to win.
I sipped my iced latte, shifting to take up more room on the bench so the couple who approached us would find somewhere else to sit. “The memory you experienced before was nothing compared to the passion between Rohan and me now.”
“I’ll be the judge of that.” Lilith took my hand and I focused on the night in the hotel. When her hold slackened, her eyes were half-glazed with lust. Her skin was luminous, her breasts higher and tighter. She’d fed off the memory.
“Told you.” Taking this precious memory and offering it up like so much smut when what had mattered was the trust and the tenderness and the raw intimacy made me wish I could scrub my skin bloody. I dug my nails into my palms, riding the pain. She couldn’t know how every second propelling me forward into this deal was flaying my soul.
“What about your pesky morals?” she said.
“They don’t matter in the scheme of things. You were right.”
She nodded. “I know better than anyone what it takes for a powerful woman to blaze her own path. Decide what’s important; let the rest go. Once you understand that, you can take anything you want if you want it badly enough. You will have near infinite power.”