The Secrets of Lake Road

When Gram left to get another box, Caroline closed her bedroom door, climbed out the window, and crawled into the arms of the willow tree. Her mother continued carrying boxes in and out of the cabin. She listened to the door creak open and bang closed. Every now and again Gram would call to have her mother lift something heavy.

Her father’s truck was gone. He had told her late last night when she had returned to the cabin that he’d be on the road for awhile, and he had no idea when he would return. Something about the way he said it made her sad, although he assured her it had nothing to do with her or the fact that Johnny wasn’t his. She didn’t believe him nor did she try to stop him from leaving.

There was more stomping coming from the screened-in porch, and then the door slammed for the last time. Maybe her mother decided she had had enough and was taking off too.

“Caroline,” her mother called. “Are you out here?”

“Over here,” she said, and hopped down from her hiding spot. She moved the long sweeping branches aside and emerged from under the tree where her mother stood waiting on the other side.

“I’m going for a drive,” her mother said.

Of course you are, Caroline thought, but didn’t say. She only nodded.

Her mother hesitated, as if she was deciding whether or not to say whatever else was on her mind. In another second she asked, “Do you want to come with me?”

The question surprised Caroline. Her mother had never asked her to come along before. A week ago she would’ve jumped at the chance to be with her. But now?

Now, Caroline decided, she didn’t need to be.





CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

Jo felt as though she was seeing her daughter for the first time in a long time. There was something new about her, a maturity she hadn’t seen before.

“Come on, come for a drive with me,” she said. “I can’t promise the radio station will play anything good, but I doubt the jukebox in the Pavilion is any better.”

A hint of a smile touched the corners of Caroline’s lips. “You’re right about the jukebox,” she said. “But I’m heading to the lake for the fishing tournament.”

“Did you enter?”

“Not this year. I promised Adam I’d go and cheer him on.”

“Oh,” she said, somewhat surprised by her disappointment that her daughter had other plans. After all, she hadn’t intended on asking her to come along. It was something that occurred to her at the last minute, that it was time to have the conversation she had been putting off. But nonetheless she said, “Well, if you promised Adam.”

“I did promise.” Caroline grabbed her bike from the yard.

It felt as though their roles had reversed overnight, and it was Jo begging with her eyes for her daughter to stick around.

“See you,” Caroline said in a nonchalant way.

“Hey, Caroline.”

Caroline stopped pushing her bike and looked over her shoulder.

“I’m coming back. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yeah, Mom, I know.”

“Do you?”

Caroline studied her, and Jo wondered what she saw: a mother who had lied to her, who had often run away for reasons Caroline had never understood. The longer her daughter stared at her, the more the guilt pressed down on Jo’s heart.

“I guess,” Caroline said finally. “I mean, I didn’t always know if you would come back or not.”

“I know. And I’m sorry about that.” She walked closer to her, hoping she wouldn’t jump on the bike and ride away. Although she supposed she couldn’t blame her if she did. “I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

Caroline shrugged, keeping her eyes on the ground by her feet.

“I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t make up for everything. But I am sorry for not telling you and Johnny the truth. It was a mistake. I made a terrible mistake.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Caroline asked.

“Well,” she said, wanting to give her an honest answer the best she could, but it was complicated. “I was young. And I was scared. Johnny’s father…” She hesitated, unsure about saying Billy’s name out loud.

“You mean Billy.”

“Yes, Billy.” She said it. “He’d drowned. And it was hard. For everyone. At the time I suppose I believed I was doing the right thing.”

“And Dad agreed.” There was a hard edge to Caroline’s voice, but there was something else in her expression, a kindness she had inherited from her father.

“Yes.” It had been Kevin’s insistence on keeping the identity of Johnny’s father a secret, putting distance between her and Billy’s family as a way of protecting her when really he was only trying to protect himself. But she wasn’t going to share this with her daughter. She wouldn’t be responsible for tainting him in her daughter’s eyes.

“You shouldn’t have lied to us.”

“I know.” Jo reached for her.

Caroline drew back.

They were quiet; neither seemed to know what to say.

Jo was the first to break the silence. “Are you sure you don’t want to come for a drive with me?” she asked.