Over the following few days, Ace and I settled into a routine at the palace. He got up really early and me really late, then in the afternoons I made myself scarce, traipsing back to Railay Beach so I wouldn’t bother him. I’d told my Railay crowd I was staying in a hotel along the beach and they didn’t question it. Consequently, Ace and I only brushed shoulders at suppertime. He seemed to expect me there, and that was fine by me as the food was fantastic. He didn’t speak much, but because I was used to Star’s quietness, it felt familiar and strangely comforting.
After three days of living a few metres from him, I realised I wasn’t in any danger of him jumping me. I knew I just wasn’t the kind of girl men fancied, and besides, if I was honest, I’d never really enjoyed sex anyway.
I’d lost my virginity nine years ago right here on Railay Beach. I’d had a couple of beers, which was always dangerous for me, and stayed up way after Star had gone to bed. The guy had been a gap year student – Will, I think his name was – and we’d gone for a walk on the beach, and the kissing had been quite nice. That had led to us being horizontal and going all the way, which had hurt a bit, but not much. I’d woken up the next morning with a hangover, unable to believe that that was what all the fuss was about.
I’d done it since a couple of other times, on different beaches with different bodies, to see if it might get better, but it never did. I was sure that millions of women would tell me I was missing something, but I couldn’t miss what I’d never had, so I was fine about it.
It was interesting that even though Star and I had always been pretty much joined at the hip, the one thing we had never confided in each other about was sex. I had no idea whether she was still a virgin or not. At boarding school, the girls used to chatter in intimate detail in bed at night about boys they fancied and how far they’d gone. Yet Star and I had remained silent on the subject, to them and each other.
Perhaps we’d felt that any kind of close physical relationship with a man would have been a betrayal. Well, I had anyway.
Leaving my room and not bothering to lock it, as I knew the invisible cleaning fairy would swoop in the moment I left, I wandered down to the terrace where Ace was waiting for me.
‘Hi, CeCe.’ He stood up briefly as I arrived and sat down. He’d obviously been taught manners and I appreciated the gesture. He poured some fresh water from the jug for us both and surveyed me.
‘New top?’
‘Yeah. I haggled and got it down to two hundred and fifty baht.’
‘Ridiculous really, isn’t it? When lots of people buy similar in a designer store in London for hundreds of times that price.’
‘Well, I never would.’
‘I once had a girlfriend who didn’t think twice about spending thousands on a handbag. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it was something for life, but then the new season stuff would come in, and she’d buy another new bag, and the old one would be put in a cupboard with the rest and never used again. Mind you, I once caught her standing there admiring her collection.’
‘Maybe they were works of art to her. Whatever floats your boat, but it sure doesn’t float mine. Anyway, you men are just as bad with your cars,’ I added as tonight’s feast was delivered to the table by the maid.
‘You’re right,’ he said, as the maid slid away as silently as she had arrived. ‘I’ve owned a series of very flash cars just because I could.’
‘Did it make you feel good?’
‘It did at the time, yes. I liked the sound of the engines. The more noise it made, the better it was.’
‘Boys with their toys . . .’
‘Girls with their pearls,’ he countered with a smile. ‘Now, shall we eat?’
We did so in companionable silence. When I’d had my fill I sat back contentedly. ‘I’m going to miss this when I’m a simple backpacker again in Australia. It’s like a slice of heaven here. You’re really lucky.’
‘I guess you never really appreciate what you’ve got until you’ve lost it, do you?’
‘Well, you haven’t lost this. And this is amazing.’
‘Not yet . . . no.’ He gave one of his deep sighs. ‘What are you doing for New Year’s Eve tomorrow night?’
‘I haven’t really thought about it. Jack’s invited me to the restaurant to see in the New Year with the rest of the crowd. Want to come?’
‘No thank you.’
‘What are you doing?’ I asked out of politeness.
‘Nothing. I mean, it’s a man-made calendar, and if we lived in, say, China, we’d be celebrating at a different time of year.’
‘True, but it’s still a ritual, isn’t it? When you’re meant to be celebrating and end up feeling like a real loser if you’re sat there alone, getting texts from your mates at amazing parties.’ I grinned.
‘Last year, I was at an amazing party,’ Ace admitted. ‘It was in St Tropez at a club. We’d come in by boat and the hostesses were opening bottles of champagne that cost hundreds of euros each and spraying them all over the place like it was water. At the time, I thought it was great, but I was drunk and most things seem fantastic then, don’t they?’
‘To be honest, I’ve not been drunk very often. Alcohol doesn’t suit me, so most of the time I steer clear.’
‘Lucky you. I – and I guess most people – use it to forget. To ease the stress.’
‘Yeah, it certainly takes the edge off stuff.’
‘I did some really stupid things when I was boozing,’ Ace confessed. ‘So now I don’t go there. I haven’t had a drink for the past two and a half months, so I’d probably get drunk on a beer. It used to take me at least a couple of bottles of champagne and a few vodka chasers to even begin to feel that edge blunt.’
‘Wow. Well, I do like the odd glass of champagne on special occasions – birthdays and stuff.’
‘Tell you what.’ He leant forward and stared at me, his blue eyes suddenly alive. ‘What do you say to opening a bottle of champagne at midnight tomorrow? As you point out, it’s for special occasions and it is New Year’s Eve, after all. But, we limit ourselves to one glass each.’
I frowned and he saw it immediately.
‘Don’t worry, I was never an alcoholic. I came off completely the minute I realised what I was doing. Equally, I don’t want to be the sad person in the corner that refuses a drink and then everyone assumes is a member of AA. I want to enjoy it, but not to need it. Do you understand?’
‘I do, but—’
‘Trust me; one glass each. Deal?’
What could I say? He was my host, and I couldn’t deny him, but I’d have my rucksack packed and at the ready in case things got out of hand.
‘Deal,’ I agreed.
*
As I sat on Railay Beach the next afternoon, I could feel the pre-Christmas electricity back in the air as all the hotels set up their verandas for the evening’s festivities. Fed up with staring at the pathetic charcoal sketch I’d made of the limestone pillars, I stood up and walked across the sand towards the Railay Beach Hotel.