‘Brooke, come in,’ he said as he leaned down and kissed her. ‘I was just cleaning up. The kids had demolished the place.’
‘I know how that feels. One minute everything’s clean, the next there’s rubbish everywhere,’ she replied as she looked up at him. He closed the door. ‘Joe’s gone to Jake’s for a couple of hours. Where are Max and Heidi?’
‘With Cathy. Gone out for breakfast in town.’ Luke felt his heart fluttering and his desire increasing as Brooke smiled and backed up against the wall.
‘So, you’re alone?’
‘Yes.’
They stood in silence. Luke felt his muscles tensing up as he tried hard not to fidget. ‘Shall I get you a drink?’
‘Shh.’ Brooke placed her finger over Luke’s mouth. He felt her body heat penetrating through his clothing. She slipped off her coat and passed it to him. As he dropped the coat on the hook, he inhaled her fragrance, then turned and grabbed her face before kissing her hard. She tugged at his shirt and began to run her fingers up his back. Her touch felt electric, a feeling he hadn’t experienced since first meeting Debbie. There had been a one-night stand about a year ago, after a night out in a bar, but he’d been drunk and he wasn’t even sure if he’d managed anything. It would remain a mystery forever.
As they kissed harder, he grabbed her jumper and pulled it over her head. He steered her towards the living room, towards the settee. As he stepped across the rug he trod on something hard and yelled.
‘What is it?’
Luke pulled away. ‘Max and his bloody Lego.’ As he bent down to pick up the plastic brick, he caught sight of another photo of Debbie, lying with baby Max lying on a towel in the garden, on a sunny day. He remembered that day as being perfect. His wife and son; he’d been so proud of her. What the hell was he doing?
Brooke began to caress him over his jeans, leaning in to kiss him. He began to kiss her back, but then abruptly stopped, pulling away. ‘I can’t do this,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry.’
She stepped back and slumped down on the settee, took a deep breath and looked away. He knew he’d hurt her.
‘I know we probably need to take this slowly,’ she replied as she snatched her jumper off the floor. He stroked her blonde hair, which now lay tangled over her face. She looked back at him and laughed. ‘What are we like?’ She began straightening her clothes up and pushing her hair back behind her ears. ‘I suppose you’re expecting the kids back any time?’
He remained silent and looked away.
‘Is it something I did?’
‘It’s not you,’ he said, sitting down beside her.
‘I understand. I know what it’s like to lose someone.’ Brooke looked towards the photo on the hearth. ‘I know I can never replace her. You can’t ever replace him. We’re not looking for replacements. You know something, though? We deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy.’ She kissed his cheek.
He leaned in and buried his head in her chest. It felt so right holding Brooke, but it felt deceitful that he’d desired her. ‘Thanks for being so understanding. Shall we have that drink?’
‘I’d love a cuppa,’ she replied, a tear rolling down her cheek. ‘Or maybe a brandy,’ she said under her breath.
Luke walked out to the kitchen and stared at his reflection in the window. His hair was ruffled and his shirt was half undone. In the hallway, the coats had fallen off the hooks. He was sure he’d hung Brooke’s coat up properly. He put the kettle on and opened the drawer containing the photo. ‘Sorry, Deb,’ he whispered as he grabbed the photo and placed it back on the shelf. The doorbell rang and Brooke answered the door.
‘Daddy, we’ve had sausages, bacon and eggs and beans and what was that other thing we had, Nanny?’
‘Whoa. You don’t have to shout so loud, little man,’ Luke replied.
‘It was a hash brown,’ said Cathy as she picked up the coats and placed them back on the hook.
‘Max doesn’t know what a hash brown is,’ Heidi said.
‘Shut up,’ Max replied, slapping her on the arm.
‘Right, little sprog. I’m going to get you. Run, sprog, because I’m coming for you,’ Heidi shouted as she held out her arms and roared like a monster. Max turned and ran up the stairs, giggling and screaming.
Cathy passed Luke a couple of bags. ‘There was a pre-Christmas sale on and I couldn’t resist.’ She pulled out two Christmas jumpers, one for Max and one for Heidi.
‘They’re beautiful,’ Brooke said.
‘So, what have you both been up to?’
Luke glanced at Brooke, noticing her wet eyes. ‘Nothing. Just making tea. Do you want some?’
‘I’m all tea’d out, I’m afraid. At my age, too much tea means too many trips to the loo and I still have to pop to the supermarket and pick up a few bits.’
‘Thanks for taking them out this morning. They love going out with you.’
‘I have a little secret. I love going out with them too. Anyway, I have to dash. I’ll pop by for a cuppa another time. Enjoy the rest of your day.’ She winked at Luke as she turned and walked towards the door. Luke smiled uncomfortably. Cathy paused and looked over at Brooke. ‘Are you both okay?’
‘We’re fine,’ Brooke replied, forcing a smile.
‘Okay, I’ll leave you both to it. Bye, kids,’ she called out.
The children didn’t respond. They were still running around upstairs, screaming and shouting. Cathy waved and left.
‘There goes my tidy house. I’m sorry—’
‘It’s okay, really it is. I’m just being silly. She’s lovely – Cathy, I mean. You’re so lucky to have her,’ Brooke said.
‘I know I am. I’m so lucky to have a lot of people in my life. I really am sorry about earlier.’
‘It’s probably a good thing it didn’t happen. Look at the timing. What would she be thinking if she’d walked in on something she couldn’t unsee?’ Brooke stared out of the window. He’d hurt her, he knew it. He had to right things. He couldn’t lose her.
‘She’s already thinking it. That woman knows everything. The way she looked at me, my messy hair, and my shirt. She knew. She always knows.’ Luke paused and stared out of the window, at the spot in the garden where Debbie was tending to Max in the photo. ‘There’s something I need to do.’
‘What’s that?’
Luke didn’t answer. Instead, he walked to the living room and picked up the photo from the hearth. He could sense that Brooke was behind him, wondering what he’d meant, so he turned his back on her. Some things he needed to be alone for, and this was one of them.
‘I’ll finish making the tea then, shall I?’ she asked.
‘Please.’
As he heard her taking the mugs off the mug tree and setting them on the worktop, he looked at the photo of Debbie and Max. ‘It’s not that I don’t love you, Deb. It’s just… You understand, don’t you?’ he whispered. He held the photo to his heart and stared out of the window.
As he snapped out of his thoughts, he stared back at the man he now noticed in the distance. Sitting on a wall several houses down, with a dark hood covering his head and upper body, he sent a shiver down his spine. The scarf he wore covered his mouth, but his stare felt intrusive. The man stood and walked away. Luke watched as he reached the end of the street and looked back once before disappearing around the corner.
‘Are you alright, Luke?’ Brooke shook his arm.
‘What?’
‘I called you twice to say that the tea was made.’
‘Sorry.’
Brooke reached out. ‘Shall I put the photo back on the fireplace?’
‘What? No. That’s why I came in here. I’m going to put the photos away for now.’
She looked down, passed him a cup of tea and took the photo from his limp hand. She walked over to the fireplace and put the photo back where it belonged. ‘The people we love from our past are part of our children’s lives. She should stay. She’s their mother.’