Hi, Zam Zam! My favorite memory of us would have to be the fall of junior year when you started wearing this very strange, cheap kind of Chap Stick, which you applied normally at first, and then it was like your lips got addicted to it and you didn’t realize. Remember? And this was before we were friends, so I didn’t know if I should say something or not, but it was like, you would come to practice, and as you were making an affirmative speech, you would be putting on this Chap Stick without even realizing it, pacing around, and your lips started to get tinted this bluish purple. I think when Mrs. Townsend stopped you in the hallway and asked you if you were cold, you realized you had to stop. You came up to me like a heroin junkie and handed me the tube and you were like, Maddie, HIDE THIS FROM ME. That’s when I knew: you were not just a nerd with vicious cross-examination skills, you were a weirdo just like me. And you will always, always be in my weirdo heart where you belong. You pushed me to be better in every single way because of your strength and ferocity and your pure grip on every moment. You’re true blue, Samantha McCoy. You changed my life. I’m going to try to call you tomorrow without losing it. Thanks to your mom and your lovely Cooper for reaching out to me down here in Atlanta. (By the way, COOPER LIND? Your neighbor?? I knew it! Did you know he used to come to all the debate tournaments we had in Hanover? I was always like, who’s that stoner bro in the back of the room?) I will love you always.
Your partner forever,
Maddie
Hi sissy,
Mom is typing for me since I want the words to be right. My favorite memory is when you watched The Princess and the Frog with me and we sang “Almost There” together. I will see you at the hospital and give you every jewel.
I LOVE YOU.
DAVY
Hi sissy,
My favorite memory with you was probly something you might not think of. It was actully very close to now when you were not doing so good but you were ok. We were in the yard and you started to look around and I knew you were not remembring. Then I took your hand and took you to the hummingbird feeder and said hey sissy look remembr. You said oh good Bette its hummingbird season. Then you said shhhhh and pointed and we watched. It is my favorite because it didn’t matter that you didn’t remembr that it had already been hummingbird season but it was just nice that you were excited and wanted to share them with me! And that is my sister forever! I love you very much.
Bette
Hi Sammie,
I can’t do this very well. I asked Dad if it would be ok if I told you in person because it just doesn’t feel good to type it. I know you liked typing on this but I type a lot (haha) and I’m on the computer a lot (haha) so I just want to tell you in person. I’ll see you.
I love you,
Harry
Hi sweetheart,
Harry and I are in kind of the same boat. The best moment of my life was when I held you in my arms for the first time. I’ll talk to you soon.
Love,
Daddy
My first baby,
Words cannot capture my grief at watching you fall away little by little. But I suppose in losing some layers, your golden core came out. You are loving, compassionate, driven, talented, and beautiful, and you will be that way forever, whether in body, in our memories, or in this book.
My favorite memory is so hard to choose, because I have loved every waking minute of our lives together, from the minute you kicked me inside my stomach to this very moment, when I am watching Daddy hold your hand.
I remember when you were eleven, at your first spelling bee in Grafton County. You beat out thirty middle schoolers, and I was so proud. You came running off the stage and you were absolutely beaming and your arms were held wide open. I know not everyone will relate to this, but in a mother’s life, there always comes a time when “I love yous” become scarce and weird for both parties. Sometimes you’re scared your kid is only going to say it because they want something, or they’re doing it out of obligation, or they hate you, but in that moment, when you ran toward me and the first words out of your mouth were “I love you, Mama!” my heart almost burst with joy.
That I should be so lucky to be the person you want to be with and express affection for in the proudest moment of your young life. I was just as bursting at every single one of them, and I know I would have been present at thousands more.
I hope this time is one of them, too. Because I am full to bursting for you, and you should be so proud of yourself for how gracefully you have walked this long road.
I love you, I love you, I love you, infinity times.
Mama
hey sammie