The door of Spare Oom is shut, so Sumac can’t see if it looks any different now the grandfather’s sleeping there.
One floor down, in the Loud Lounge, PapaDum and MaxiMum are frowning at a laptop while Aspen and CardaMom teach Brian to Hula-Hoop. Brian tries spinning her hoop around her tiny waist, but it only goes around one and a half times before it drops.
“We’ve been learning mensa,” Aspen tells Sumac over her shoulder.
PapaDum lets out a snort.
“Dementia, which is the brain problem your grandfather may have,” CardaMom corrects her. “Mensa’s the opposite: a club for people with too many brains, like a few poseurs I knew in law school.”
“The 3 Rs: Stay Relaxed, Reassuring, Respectful,” PapaDum reads off the screen.
Sumac goes over to see. At the top it says Learning Unit 1.1. Alzheimer’s and Other Dementias: Caring for Your Loved One.
But this old man isn’t their loved one. Sumac doesn’t suppose he’s anyone’s loved one, not anymore, since PopCorn’s mom has been dead for more than thirty years. Unless he has some best friends back in Faro?
Brian tries to spin the hoop again, moving in a huge circle, but she’s too slow, so it drops.
“Can you recap the video for Sumac?” MaxiMum asks Aspen.
Who always goes slightly cross-eyed when she’s trying to remember things. “These kids were crying, boohoo, because their mensa — their dementiaed granny couldn’t remember their names anymore blah blah blah, but then they did a scrapbook with her, The End.”
“That’s a bit harsh,” protests CardaMom.
“Hey, at least I was listening!”
“Dementia sounds like the dementors in Harry Potter,” says Sumac. Poor guy and all that, but this fourth grandfather has only just learned their names; they barely know him, so she doesn’t see that they have much reason to be boohooing.
CardaMom offers Oak a Hula-Hoop on his left side. (Oak’s physiotherapist is always nagging them to work his left arm and leg so they’ll get as strong as his right ones.) “Well, one thing we could take from the video is that Iain will probably be more interested in talking about the past than the present.”
But that’s true of all oldies, thinks Sumac. Or even middlies: the parents are always going on about the wild times they had back in the day, meaning the end of the last century.
“I’m practicing all my best tricks for him, because they had acrobats back in ye olden times,” says Aspen, knotting her hands behind her and climbing through them.
“You going to show your grandfather your tricks, Oaky-doke?” PapaDum asks.
“Watch my trick.” Brian grimaces with effort, but her hoop plummets almost at once. She kicks it across the room, her mouth trembling.
“Want to try Teacup again?” says Aspen, throwing her a cat’s cradle string.
“Look, I do Teacup,” Brian tells Sumac, her fingers knotted together with the wool.
“And Owl Eyes, nearly,” says Aspen, “except they’re a bit squinty.”
PapaDum reads aloud, “The home should ideally be small, modern, and all on one level. The environment should be structured and predictable.”
CardaMom snorts. “That’s like all that stuff about babyproofing in the parenting books, and we chucked those out the window the day Sic was born.”
“Which window?” Aspen asks, excited. “A high one? The Artic?” Slate’s pointy face appears in the neck of her pajamas.
“Chucked, metaphorically,” says MaxiMum. She taps the screen. “He slash she will require a lifestyle of routine and calm. Does that sound like Camelottery?”
Fair point, thinks Sumac. The only routine here is, wake up and decide what you want to learn.
“This is the bit that worries me,” mutters PapaDum.
“Mm,” says MaxiMum, nodding.
Sumac goes over to see what they’re reading. If you have always had a difficult or lacking relationship with the impaired relative, it says, such a move could be inadvisable in the extreme. “Does that mean if the grandfather’s drunk?”
“What?”
“Ah yes, impaired, like impaired driving,” says MaxiMum with a grin. “No, it means that the dementia, if that’s what it is, is muddling his thinking — like drink can, I suppose.”
“Basically, it seems he’s starting to lose his marbles,” says PapaDum.
Aspen does one of her inappropriate mad laughs.
“I hadded marbles,” says Brian sorrowfully.
“PapaDum doesn’t mean those little glass balls,” says Sumac. He should remember that Brian’s too young for metaphors.
“We putted them away for Oak not eating,” says Brian.
“The grandfather’s brains are like that, like your marbles,” CardaMom tells her, “not actual marbles.”
“What does inadvisable mean?” Sumac asks.
“This website would advise against PopCorn bringing his dad here,” says MaxiMum, “because they’ve never got on very well.”
CardaMom blows a raspberry. “This website lacks imagination. I think it’s going to be just what Iain and PopCorn need: very healing.”
PapaDum rolls his eyes.