The Dead House

All this time, looking for a door, I had never once considered that it might not be a conventional entry point at all. As soon as this idea lit itself in my mind, a window to the right of me, a little way down a darkened corridor, bent and twisted itself into the shape of a door, just big enough for me to fit through.

I looked back at the girl, who was now no more than an outline; saw myself as I currently am—an emaciated thing, an empty vessel, a lost cause—and I smiled.

“Thank you. For telling me to escape Lansing. For giving me Carly’s journal. For showing me the way.”

She continued to grin as she faded away. Was she some residual part of Carly? Was she some unconscious part of my own mind—a bit of my sanity, slowly decaying until she had served her purpose? Was she you, Dee, leaving me? A warning of Carly slipping away? Or was she a little bit of mercy from God, who maybe hadn’t quite forgotten me in the shadows? I don’t think I’ll ever know.

I walked over to the little window-door calmly, stepped through into the outside and the awaiting mists, and heard the great rushing Dead Ocean.


Elmbridge’s roof seemed so small, compared with where I then stood, looking down over the edge of the crumbling cliff. I looked out at the raging waters, which crashed violently, but slowly, dark and fathomless.



And

I

leaped.



The waters rushed up to meet me.



I will not utter a word of what lies beyond, only to say this: I see. You tricked me for long enough, and I see. I bet you’re afraid. I bet you’re reading this right now and shuddering.


And you should be afraid. Because I’m coming.





104



The following entry was presumably written shortly after the previous entry, as the ink is identical.





Diary of Kaitlyn Johnson

Date, Time, and Location Not Noted



Her dear, sweet voice! My little sister—she sounds so sad and alone.

“Kaitie, where’s Carly? I want to see Carly!”

Maybe it was a mistake to call her from Scott’s phone, but I had to ground myself, and she’s the last thing left.

“I’m going to find her,” I said. I didn’t lie. I am going to find her.

“Take me with you,” she begged.

No. She can’t come with me, because I know the end already. Haji was right, Dee—I knew it all along.





105



The following diary entry is written in an almost illegible hand, and is difficult to fully grasp at first. This copy of the first paragraph has been included as originally written, in order to demonstrate her state of mind, following which the entry has been transcribed.




There never was any choice I know that now but Dee my soul is burning! I want to cast off my skin and throw it into the flames and walk around in my bones because then maybe this all will go away. Maybe my bones will turn to dust and I will float away, on the breeze, free like I have always wanted.




[Transcription]:



There never was any choice I know that now but Dee my soul is burning! I want to cast off my skin and throw it into the flames and walk around in my bones because then maybe this all will go away. Maybe my bones will turn to dust and I will float away, on the breeze, free like I have always wanted.

I know, I’ll try, but it’s so hard, it’s so painful. Everything is over, I just want it to be over, I don’t know why I am here to suffer like this, do you find it funny? Is that what I am? A joke? An experiment?

Ari was in the chapel on the hill and somehow I knew he would be. I didn’t know what was going to happen but I knew I had no choice. My feet carried me up there without my brain engaging because it was simply the way it had to be.

Because, Dee, it suddenly made so much sense. I had to talk to him, find out. Because it wasn’t John, you see? Because John is gone now and this is still happening. John… I’m so sorry. My friend, my brother—you were trying to save me, for so long. I’m sorry I couldn’t see it! I’m sorry you ever had to see me in Masqued, that I was ever here to taint your life. You were innocent.

It wasn’t Scott either, because Scott has been with Naida, and I still feel the school pulsing its filthy energy into me. And it’s not Haji because he’s the one who warned me in the first place, and he’s gone away. Brett is dead—oh, God, so much death. And that leaves Ari.

Ari, who hung the bind Haji gave me. Ari, who comforted me and told me everything was going to be okay. Ari, who told me I was his forever and who kissed me and touched me and—

This whole time Ari has been the link.

It was Ari.

I couldn’t believe it at first, but I had to know. So I went to talk to him. Just to talk, you understand? I think he was expecting me, because he was different. He was so happy, smiling, almost laughing. I remember it all so clearly please God I wish I didn’t.