“A bridge to cross another time.” Aric’s way of saying kick the can down the road. He opened his mouth to say more, closed it, then tried again. “Over these months, I’ve made so many mistakes. I should have done a score of things differently. But you know I can learn from my mistakes—if given the chance. You know it can be good between us again, love.” He was making it sound like we could pick up right where we’d left off. How could we ever find our way back there? “Even when under the Hanged Man’s control, I longed for you. I missed my wife.” He took a step closer.
I took one back. “Should I forget everything that’s happened and resume life with you at the castle? Should we send Jack back out into the Ash? Could you doom him after he saved me and Tee?”
He exhaled. “I have no solution for this situation. Not one we can all live with.”
Neither did I. “Aric, will you please give me some breathing room? I need to think.”
His eyes went dark and dim once more. “I will go. To make you more comfortable, I won’t return without the mortal.”
“Take your time.”
Before closing the door, he stopped and said, “I do not want you to go to the castle alone.”
I rubbed my temples. “This is my lot.” I now had one mission: destroy Paul. If I won the day, I would reevaluate everything else then. “I’ve accepted it.”
He held my gaze as he said, “Our son is strong. Like his mother.”
Oh, Aric. He left me, the door clicking shut behind him.
I released a pent-up breath, wondering when—or if—I’d feel comfortable with him again. Was it PTSD making me so antsy? Or the sphere? Pregnancy?
My vote: all of the above.
What was I going to do about him? Them?
Mulling this conundrum, I used some of the cabin’s water stores to shower and get ready for bed. I climbed under the covers, sighing at the softness of the mattress and expensive sheets. Compared to the pallet I’d been sleeping on, this bed should’ve been heavenly, but it was missing Jack.
I was missing him.
And Death. When I detected Aric’s addictive scent on the pillow—sandalwood and pine—memories of our fateful night here overwhelmed me, until I felt like I was cheating on Jack.
I adored his raw passion, yet I craved Aric’s seething intensity. One love fated. One love endless. Since perfect for me couldn’t be bested, how could I live without either?
Jack, the love of my life, had told me, “Peek?n, it’ll always be Evie and Jack.”
Aric, my soul mate, had told me, “We are forever.”
Whom to believe?
I’d come full circle, was right back to that night at Fort Arcana when I’d struggled to decide between them. As I’d done then, I imagined my life as a road. On one side was Jack, on the other Aric.
Even after everything that had happened, I’d covered only a few measly miles.
One thing I knew about tomorrow? Nothing would ever be the same.
48
The Hunter
“Where’s Evie?” I asked when Death joined me atop the satellite dish. I’d been sipping a bottle of whiskey I’d snagged in Jubilee. From this height, I could see the sphere in the distance.
A constant reminder of the stakes.
“She wanted some time to herself. I’ll know if any threats approach.”
I already had my eye on the sole cabin door. I handed him the bottle. “Must be nice for her to have a real bed again.” I wasn’t stupid, me. Knew those two had probably been together in it. Jealousy prickled.
I put my gloved hand in my coat pocket, turning over my most valued possession: the phone I’d stolen from my half brother. I’d stowed it and the tape recording of Evie’s life story in my bug-out bag at the cave—merci mon Dieu. The way Domīnija and Evie were looking at each other earlier, I’d probably be needing a way to hear her voice soon. Because I’d be on the outs. “I doan suppose you talked her out of her plan?”
“She remains determined.”
“I’m not letting her drive off on her own. I’ll go without a weapon if I have to.”
He drank. “She wants me to keep you out of the fray.”
“But you woan?”
“I might.” At my scowl, he said, “Perhaps I’d be more supportive of her plan if we could provide a decoy, distracting her foes. I could lure out some of Fauna’s animals and put them down. With luck, I could even goad Gabriel into crossing the boundary.”
“You? That close to an unpredictable sphere? If you got caught, you’d kill Evie and me. You’re a ticking time bomb, remember?”
“I won’t get caught. I’m too swift.”
“Will speed make a difference? I doan think it’s possible for you to stay away from her no matter what you heard. Think about it: if Lark’s wolves tore into her, you still couldn’t pass that barrier.”
“Remaining away would be the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Battle is easy. Facing my demise is easy. Denying my need to protect her would be grueling. But I would summon the strength.” He handed me the bottle.
I tilted it up, then asked, “In past games, has the Empress ever lost herself to the witch? Like permanently?”
“There was no separation between the two, no name for an alter-ego. She was the red witch always. Her hair was forever red, her very eyes green.”
And by all accounts, that was a damned bad state. So what had we dredged up in Jubilee? What might she tap into tomorrow?
The wind gusted again, rocking the dish and sending snow blowing across the ground. I pulled my coat tighter and said, “Evie’s right about one thing. She’s got to get inside that castle.”
“If I’d developed an alternative site, that castle wouldn’t be all-important. I thought I’d anticipated every possible contingency, but I couldn’t. No one could. And now I’ve left my wife and child so vulnerable that I actually have to consider the prospect of letting her take back that stronghold.”
“You never played with the idea of a bolt hole?”
“History told me I had no need. I was raised in a fortification. A strong enough sword meant all was protected. I am the strongest sword alive. So chalk up this failing to arrogance.”
“I was raised in a place that couldn’t be defended, and I learned early that life was unpredictable. So chalk up my wariness to experience.”
“It’s served you well, mortal.”
Kind of what Evie had said about my pre-Flash hardships. Could all my tough luck in the past be a gift in this future? “Say she can take out Paul. What then?” Would they expect me to let them get back to their marriage? When I needed her like I needed my next breath?
“Regrettably, the advantage is all yours, mortal.” He voiced my own thoughts: “You’re the only other male alive who knows what it’s like to covet her like this.”
“I get that you want her back, want your family. But I bowed out before, and you nearly killed her.”
In a strangled tone, he said, “Yes.”
I’d told Evie that if we could trust that Domīnija wouldn’t give in to his rage again, I’d let them get back to it. Which meant I needed to do some digging. “I want to look at this from your point of view, walk a mile in your shoes.”
He stared at the sphere. “A mile in my shoes? I wouldn’t wish that on you.”
I could now see all too clearly what his long life had been like. I had no family left. No close friends. Everyone but Evie had died, and I’d lived on, just as this man had done for two millennia. “How much of your rage was Paul? How much was you? Make me understand what happened.”
“How can I, when I hardly comprehend it myself?”