The Contradiction of Solitude

I had noticed her right away. It was impossible not to pay attention to someone that looked like that. She had watched me even as I pretended not to watch her. I had dug her voyeur act. It was flattering.

I was not a Casanova by any stretch of the imagination but I loved women. And they loved me. It was a reciprocal arrangement built on mutual pleasure and satisfaction. My relationships ended amicably. Effortlessly. Simply. It was done in a respectful manner for all parties involved. I didn’t want to hurt anyone, because I wasn’t in the habit of being hurt. I wouldn’t allow it. My partners knew it. There were no expectations.

I didn’t do drama. Or unnecessary tension. Life was too short to be mired in wasteful emotions.

And I had noticed her. The girl with the coal black eyes who had never said a word.

I had briefly wondered if she was a mute.

Though apparently not.

“Huh?” I asked lamely.

She arched an eyebrow and nodded her head toward my plate. I looked down and realized I had indeed built a sad little Stonehenge out of my fries.

“Looks like it,” I chuckled. I tried not to stare at her but it was really hard. She was that pretty.

She stood there beside my table with an odd expression on her face. She stared at my seasoned fries like they were a hell of a lot more interesting than I was.

Overshadowed by junk food. I had hit a new low.

“Maybe I should try for the White House next time.” I sounded like an idiot. My poor attempt at a joke was ridiculous. But I didn’t care. I just wanted to hear her voice again.

I was feeling irrational. Impulsive.

Crazy.

“Or maybe you should just eat them and stop playing with your food like a two year old,” she suggested without a hint of coldness or sarcasm.

Her voice was calmly neutral and devastatingly blasé. She had taken me out at the knees as though she were talking about the weather.

Who was this girl?

“Or I could do that,” I agreed, humiliated and intrigued all at the same time.

She cocked her head to the side and regarded me, and I felt like fidgeting in my seat. But I didn’t. I wasn’t that guy. I still had some balls after all.

Even if they were starting to shrivel under her impenetrable gaze.

Then she quietly slid into the chair opposite me, without an invitation, and reached for the menu wedged between the ketchup bottle and maple syrup.

This was odd.

She was odd.

I picked up another fry and dunked it in the ranch dressing. I ate it slowly, watching the girl with the coal black eyes the entire time.

“Can I get you anything else, Elian?” Nancy asked, coming back to the table.

The girl who had taken over my table continued to study the menu, as though she were by herself in this room full of people. As though sitting across from me meant nothing but a shared space between strangers.

And really wasn’t that all it was?

I wasn’t so sure.

“Uh, do you want to order?” I asked the girl, feeling off balance.

I was unsettled.

The girl with the coal black eyes finally looked up from the menu and closed it softly before putting it back where she found it.

“I’ll have what he’s having.”

“Good choice,” I said, smiling. Her lips lifted in response. Not so much a smile as a grimace. As though she wasn’t used to stretching those muscles.

“Seasoned fries and ranch dressing it is,” Nancy said and she sounded a little sour. Nancy was a sweet middle-aged lady with graying red hair and lipstick on her teeth. She had been working at Denny’s for as long as I had been eating there. Three long years.

“Thanks Nancy. And can I get a slice of Kentucky pie while you’re at it?” I asked and Nancy gave me a sweet look before writing the order on her pad.

Once Nancy was gone, I turned to Coal Black Eyes and waited. She had pulled out her book and had it open on the table in front of her, her arms folded to hold the battered edges down.

What was going on?

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