I smiled when I saw that he had managed to kick off his blanket and continue to throw a tantrum fit for an eight-month-old. I scooped him up and cradled his warm body against my chest. He no longer screamed, but his fussing went on as he tried to eat his fist.
“I’ll guess you’re hungry, huh, little guy?” I left our bedroom and entered the kitchen. I hadn’t had the chance to prep his bottles before leaving for work, so I made quick work of it one-handed while attempting to soothe him. After popping the bottle in the microwave, I took stock of what we had and calculated we had enough food and diapers to survive another week. Whatever I did, I had to move fast. Time moved fast when you didn’t want it to.
Tomorrow, I’d search the papers and every square inch of the city by foot if I had to.
There were thousands of restaurants in the city.
One of them had to be hiring.
*
I was still jobless after a week of scouring as many places as I could, as often as I could. I even took Caylen with me on the cooler days to search for work. I was now down to the last of our food with no money and no solutions.
“Mian?”
I recognized the voice and groaned. Joseph ‘Joey’ Jones was my second-floor neighbor. He lived here with his mom since he was seventeen and still in high school. He also had an unfailing crush on Anna and begged me to talk him up to her every time we ran into each other. The one time I asked, Anna had made it clear she wasn’t interested. “Not my type and never will be,” is what she said. I pushed through the fronts doors and quickened my pace when the sound of his footsteps grew closer.
“Hey, wait up!”
I could hear him breathing now so I turned and forced a smile. “Hey, Joey. What’s up?”
“Damn, girl. I had to run after you. Did you not hear me?”
“Nope.”
“Oh, that’s cool. So where are you headed?”
I shrugged. “Nowhere special.” I attempted casual but his bushy eyebrows bunched together under his backward red cap. I could even see the riots of dark curls peeking out from under it.
“Why so secretive?” He chuckled and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts. I’ve known Joey since the first day I moved in, and he had offered to help me unload my meager belongings. He’s always been nice and helpful and even chauffeured Caylen and me around in his beat up old Chevrolet when the weather was too bad to trek it. I had no real reason not to trust him.
It’s just that trusting people with your secrets made you vulnerable, and I’d had enough of that already.
“I lost my job,” I offered. “I’m hunting for a new one.” I left out the part about me being destitute and almost out of food.
“With Caylen?” He nodded to him strapped to my chest. The carrier had been a godsend in the form of a hand-me-down I graciously accepted from Tara who lived on the first floor. She had seen me struggling to carry Caylen and two handfuls of groceries one day and had helped me carry them. After thanking her for the help, she’d reappeared at my door with the carrier. Turns out, she had a two-year-old son who’d outgrown it. I turned it down, feeling wrong for taking from a stranger until she patted her arm where her birth control was planted and reassured me she had no plans of having another one.
“Anna’s working today.”
“Right.” He looked from me to the baby and then met my gaze again. “I could watch him if you want.”
I hesitated because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Joey’s maturity level wasn’t quite there for me to trust him with my baby. “That’s okay. I’m just filling out applications today.”
It was a lie I was hoping he didn’t see through. I was actually heading to one of the only payphones that probably still existed. I had scraped up change in a few junk drawers and planned to use it to call the last two people I ever wanted to ask for help.
“Oh, okay then.” I nodded and turned away. “Before you go…”
Damn it.
“Yes?” I really wanted to get this phone call over with before I backed out altogether. Joey was threatening that.
“Have you talked to Anna lately?”
“What do you mean?”
“About me.”
“Joey…”
“I know what you’re going to say, but maybe she’s changed her mind!”
“Why don’t you just talk to her yourself?”
“Because…”
“Because what?”
“Because she’s beautiful,” he answered softly. His eyes shone with admiration, making me wonder just how deep his crush actually went.
“And you have trouble talking to beautiful girls?”
I wondered what that meant for me since he talked to me just fine. I wasn’t conceited, but I never considered myself unattractive either. Feeling self-conscious, I ran my fingers through my hair in a subtle attempt to improve my appearance. I suppose it’s what I got for letting stress make me not care what I looked like.
His laugh broke through my self-loathing, and I cut him with my glare. “Of course not or else I wouldn’t be able to talk to you either.” I actually blushed, but then remembered this wasn’t about me. “It’s just that I see her as someone I want to…” He blushed.