“Yes, no, I mean that’s not why I wanted to come here,” she answered, getting all flustered. “Frank has asked me to give you something but that’s not why I came,” she clarified.
“I knew you were here for him. Just give me whatever that psycho wants you to deliver and leave,” Em said angrily.
“Please, Emily,” her mum pleaded.
“Please what, Mum?” she replied. “Please be nice, please don’t argue, or please forgive you for doing absolutely nothing while that man beat and raped me?” She didn’t shout. She didn’t even raise her voice at her mother. Instead she was eerily calm. Tears were streaming down her mother’s face, and with a resigned sigh, Em rubbed her own tiredly with her hands.
“Just go home, Mum,” Em said softly. The woman pulled a long white envelope from her tattered bag and slid it across the table toward us.
“You have no idea how sorry I am for my part in what happened, and I don’t ever expect you to forgive me, but I’d like to explain myself to you someday, and I’d like the opportunity to know you. I don’t expect you to hear me out anytime soon, but can I come by the cafe from time to time, just to say hello and see you?” she asked hopefully.
“I don’t know. You’ve had years to get to know me. I can’t help feeling that whatever you’re doing is in Frank’s best interest.”
“Believe me, if Frank knew I did anything other than follow his instructions, I’d be beaten black and blue when he next had the opportunity.”
After a long pause of me clenching and unclenching my fists and silently willing her to tell her mother to get fucked, Em finally answered. “Fine, but only now and again, and I’m not talking about Frank,” she agreed.
“What the fuck, Sunshine?” I asked her. Her only response was to link her fingers through mine and squeeze my hand tightly.
“I understand,” her mum replied, “and thank you.”
Slipping quickly out of the booth, her mother paused to stare at Em like she was trying to memorize her face, then dropped her gaze to the floor and walked out of the cafe. As soon as she was gone, Em slumped against me. Letting go of her hand, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. I knew, even before she hiccupped, that she was crying because her tears began to soak through my shirt. My heart broke for her. Sunshine rarely ever cried. She was a pro at bottling up her feelings and going quiet when something was bothering her. But her ma had cut old wounds wide open, and now her pain was bleeding out. I didn’t have it in my heart to complain about her giving in to her mother and allowing future contact. That conversation could wait for another day. Right now, Em needed me, and I knew only too well how deeply the wounds inflicted by a bad parent ran.
“Come on, love. Let’s get you home. I’ll run you a nice hot bath, you can put on a shitty chick flick, and we’ll fall asleep cuddling. Sniffing back the tears, I saw the ghost of a smile as she wiped her face with her hands.
“That sounds nice,” she said. “Let’s open the letter first though. Whatever’s inside won’t be good and I just want it over and done with” she said, looking at the envelope in disgust. The fact that Frank had even held it made it tainted. I wanted to snatch it away and open it when I was on my own, shield her from whatever was inside. But Danny was right. No way would she put up with that shit. Quickly, like she was ripping off a Band-Aid, she tore open the letter and pulled out a sheet of paper, folded around a single photograph. She glanced at it briefly before allowing it to fall to the table and burying her face in the crook of my neck. She didn’t make a sound but the warm, wet tears against my skin broke my heart. I picked up the note with shaky hands to see what had moved her so badly. In bold black type was printed the message:
You are MINE. You have always been MINE.
The picture it came with made me want to vomit. She must have been about seventeen when it was taken. In it, she was unconscious on the floor so I assumed he’d knocked her out. What made me sick was the hand in the photo that had pushed down her shirt and her bra to caress her breast.
“What else did he do when I was asleep or unconscious? How many other photos does he have? Or worse, what if there are videos?” she mumbled into my neck.
I squeezed her to me tightly but I didn’t have a single word of compassion to give her. What could I possibly say that would make this cluster fuck any better? The only thing I knew how to do when people tried to hurt me and mine was to hurt back. Without that option, I was helpless. And it was fucking killing me.
After wiping away the tears, Em went to the bathroom to clean herself up. Before she came back, the guys jumped in and I slid the letter and picture into my back pocket. There were some things they didn’t need to see.
“What the fuck did she want?” Kier asked.
“She’s delivering a letter Frank’s sent from prison but apparently that’s secondary to her being sorry for everything and wanting the opportunity to get to know her daughter better.”