Not so long ago, I thought I was going to live the easy life.
When I was asked to leave the company, I found solace in the idea that I’d finally get the break I’d promised myself for years. I had ten million in the bank and I could live very comfortably off just the interest and do whatever the hell I wanted. In the first few months, I did just that. I needed to get my head straight; to kick the pills and the pain of losing Elise.
I shook my head and thought back to the day she’d left me. She’d thrown her ring back at me and said that she wouldn’t waste her life married to a drug addict and stormed out. No amount of promising and begging had won her back. What I didn’t realize at that time was that she was having an affair with my business partner.
Weeks later, after finding out the truth and being forced into retirement, I spent months drunk and screwing just about anything that looked my way. But then life kicked me in the balls, and now I was raising two kids with no clue what in the hell I was doing.
I only hoped that I was doing right by them, and giving them a good life. I had hired a nanny to help me out. I figured if I had some help at least during the day, I could handle things at night. Some days, I struggled even to do that.
I sighed and walked back over to where Hadley sat in her highchair and wiped the excess food and formula from her face and hair – how did she always manage to get it in her hair? I heard Liam calming down in his room and based on the sounds of an electric car I could tell he was playing with the newest toy I’d gotten him, so I felt better about stepping outside for a moment of fresh air. I kissed Hadley on her forehead while she drank her bottle, then I wrapped my coat around my shoulders. It was getting very blustery and the snow was coming down in buckets. By tomorrow morning we’d be completely snowed in.
That meant the nanny wouldn’t be able to get back to us until the snow melted away.
Fuck.
I stood outside and watched as the snow battered against the porch. My hands were shaking just thinking about handling these kids on my own for a few days straight. I’d never been alone with them for that long and I wondered if I could do it without losing my shit. I took deep breaths to calm myself as the chill of the afternoon settled deep within my bones, then my mind started ticking off my imaginary list.
I’d checked the generator a couple of days ago and I had plenty of gas for it in case we lost power. I had a closet full of dried wood and stacks of papers to use for fires. I had plenty of wipes, diapers, and baby food to get us through the next couple of weeks. I bought enough toilet paper, had enough batteries for Liam’s toys, and I’d finish washing their clothes today, so I didn’t have to worry about it in the middle of the storm.
We would be okay. I could handle this. I mean, I’d built a successful company up from the fucking ground. A toddler and a baby couldn’t break me.
Could they?
Off in the distance, I could’ve sworn I heard screeching tires. Turning my head, I tried to focus my hearing. The only person I ever knew to make their way back here was my nanny. But I knew she wasn’t senseless enough to travel all the way up here in this kind of snow. There was another house up here somewhere, I knew, but I never saw or heard anyone coming or going from it. I had started to wonder if anyone actually lived in it.
I listened for the sound again, but then the wind started to kick up, slamming against the house and howling around the corner. Time to get back inside.
I opened the door to find Liam sitting at the table. He’d grabbed an apple off the counter and was munching on it happily. It still amazed me how quickly kids’ moods could change. They were like tiny bipolar terrors. I shook my head and ruffled his hair as Hadley began to cry.
“Come here, sweet girl,” I said, as I picked her up. “Let’s go get you changed.”
“Apple!” Liam exclaimed.
“Yep buddy, that’s an apple,” I said as I headed back to Hadley’s room. I laid her on the changing table and made a face as the odor from her diaper hit me. How could something so small and cute, make such an awful stench? I blew out a breath and set to the task at hand.
She was giggling while I got her cleaned up and I smiled at her. Her eyes always seemed to twinkle whenever she looked up at me, and my heart would melt. I got a fresh diaper on her before I put her pants back on, then I turned and started for the kitchen. Liam had moved to the couch, seemingly having forgotten all about his tantrum not ten minutes ago.
“Ready for that story?” I asked.
“Yep!” he said excitedly.
“Alright, but I need you to listen to me for a second.”
“Kay!,” he said.
“It is not okay to behave like you did at lunch. Yelling and throwing a fit is not going to get you what you want. Do you understand?” I asked him.
He looked up at me with a crinkled brow and nodded his head. I wasn’t sure if he truly did understand or not, but at least he seemed to get that my tone meant business.
“Okay. Now, go pick out the book you want me to read and we’ll cuddle up,” I said.
Liam scurried off as I got up and placed Hadley in her pack-and-play. It was something the nanny suggested for her after her first week here, and I relied on it heavily. I could put Hadley in this safe, padded environment as I stoked a fire or did something in the kitchen and I never had to worry about her. I could hear her jingling her toys and blowing spit bubbles while I got a fire going.
By the time the flames were shooting heat into the room, Liam thrust a book in front of my face.
“Again?” I asked.
“Uh huh,” Liam said.
“You really like The Giving Tree, don’t you?” I asked.
“Uh huh!”
“All right. Let’s go sit by your sister and we’ll read The Giving Tree again.”
“Couch?” Liam asked.
“Hadley’s in her playpen right now. Do you wanna get in with her?”
Liam’s face lit up, so I got to my feet and helped him into the playpen with his sister. I watched him cuddle right up to her, his legs wrapped around her body as she leaned back into him. They looked so much like their parents; Liam with my brother’s eyes and Hadley with her mother’s smile. It hurt to look at them sometimes.
Looking at them reminded me that not only had I lost the only immediate family I had left after my parents, but that these two precious souls only had me left in the world.
“Uncle Ev?” Liam asked.
“Yeah?”
“Are you sad?”
Shaking my head, I pulled myself from my thoughts. Liam’s eyes were wide and bright, filled with worry a three year old should never have to experience. Hadley was already falling asleep against Liam’s chest, her eyes closing as the time for her nap grew closer and closer.
“Just a bit tired,” I said. “You ready for a nap?”
“After story,” Liam said.
“Yes. But after we read this book, I think it’ll be time for a nap.”
“Sleep with Hadley?” he asked.
I watched as his sister curled into him before the two of them laid down on the bottom of the pack-and-play.
“Sure,” I said, sighing. “Why not?”
I propped myself against the edge of the couch and began reading The Giving Tree. I’d bought this book for Liam on a whim and he’d been obsessed with it ever since. We’d only had it a few months, but the spine was already falling apart. There were food and drink stains on the pages, some of them were ripped, and others were stuck together. I read through the book and showed Liam the pictures while Hadley fell asleep, and the moment I finished the book I could see Liam’s eyelids drooping as well.
I grunted as I rose off the hardwood floor and grabbed a blanket from the couch. I fluttered it over their bodies before a small smile crossed Liam’s cheeks. I looked down at them, and couldn’t help but feel a pang of aching in my gut.
I quickly pushed it away and resolved myself to do the best I could for them. Even with all the troubles that life had thrown our way, I’d try to be happy we had each other.
CHAPTER 4
MELANIE