I rolled over and committed myself to a fitful night of sleep. I tossed and turned, my body still sensitive from my orgasm. I couldn’t help but feel like I had betrayed my vows. It wasn’t like Bradley and I had separated or divorced. No, we’d had a good life, a good marriage until he died in that godforsaken desert.
But every time I closed my eyes, I saw Graham with his dark brown hair and his kind blue eyes, his slight little grin, and his soft lips underneath that trimmed beard.
Graham, not Bradley.
And it filled my soul with guilt.
CHAPTER 10
GRAHAM
“There’s a barbecue block party this afternoon,” Kevin said.
“The hell’s that?” I asked.
“It’s where people block off a part of the street and cook all sorts of great food.”
“There a reason you’re telling me about it?”
“Figured you would want to come with me.”
I looked up at my boss from underneath the hood of a beat-up pickup truck. I’d been at work for three fucking hours, and the last thing I wanted to do was have lunch with strangers. I knew the guy was trying to be nice and get me out of the damn garage, but I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to eat someone else’s food and act like I wanted to be around people.
But Daniel’s words kept rolling around in my mind.
“When is it?” I asked.
“Anytime during lunch. Probably won’t stop until well after dinner,” Kevin said.
“I’ll need some time to wash my hands. This truck’s fucked up.”
“It always is. That’s Marion’s truck. Took it over after her father died, but she can’t keep it up to save her soul,” he said.
“No joke. Fine. Yeah. Let me know when you want to leave, and I’ll go get cleaned up.”
I worked on that truck for another hour trying to find where the leaks were coming from. I was clamping off hoses and getting up underneath it to drain the oil. This damn thing was going to have to be here for a few days for me to really fix it right, but this Marion woman was insistent on having it by the end of the damn day.
“Ready to go?” Kevin asked.
“Gimme a sec to wash my hands,” I said.
I rolled out from underneath the truck and washed my hands in the shop sink. I grabbed my jacket, tossed it over my shoulders, and made sure I had my wallet before I left.
Then, the two of us started walking down the sidewalk.
“How long have you been in this area?” Kevin asked.
“Little over four months,” I said.
“What brought you out here?”
“Needed to find a space that was my own.”
“Got a family?”
“Nope.”
“A girlfriend?”
“Nope.”
“A friend in general?”
“Does a nosey ass boss count?” I asked.
But instead of being offended, Kevin laughed like I’d said something funny.
“Rough around the edges. I like it. I bet you’re a true softie on the inside,” he said.
“Sure, if that’s what you want to think,” I said.
“So, there’s food you need to eat and food you need to stay away from. If you like ribs, get over to Mrs. Cashwell’s grill. She makes the best ribs in Bend. But if you’re a chicken fan, Mr. Powell can hook you up.”
“Whose food should I not touch?” I asked.
“Everyone else’s.”
“Great. I’ll keep that in mind.”
I stuck by Kevin, and I could see what he was talking about. There were people out there cooking steaks way too long and burning the shit out of the glazes on their ribs. I got ribs and chicken and walked around to grab some vegetables before grabbing a drink. There were beers hanging out in a cooler, but I figured drinking in front of my boss before going back to work wasn’t a good idea.
I sat down at a table and began to eat, and fuck, the food was good. Really good. So good that neither Kevin nor I spoke a word to one another. The meat was delectable, the grilled vegetables were perfect, and the homemade lemonade was a recipe I wanted. I was so occupied with stuffing my face that I didn’t hear Lily bounding up behind me until she was climbing on the bench next to me.
How the hell had I let my guard down like that?
“Hi, Graham!”
“Hey there,” I said. “Did you run off from your momma?”
“No, she’s getting food.”
I looked up and saw Cindy walking toward us with a smile on her face. She sat a plate full of cut-up chicken and vegetables in front of Lily. Her hair was blowing in the breeze, and she had a beautiful summer dress on with spaghetti straps and soft fabric that fell to her feet. She looked beautiful as she sat down next to Kevin.
“Cindy. Nice to see you again,” Kevin said.
“You too, Kev. How’s the shop going?” Cindy asked.
“It’s going. I’ve pretty much taken it over. Dad’s sick, and he’s not getting much better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” she said.
“Thanks. It’s what happens when you get old I guess,” Kevin shrugged.
“Is there anything I can do?” Cindy asked. “I could make up some soup or something.”
“Always so generous. But no, we’re okay,” Kevin said.
“Hey, Cindy!”
I turned my head at the unfamiliar voice as a man started to approach the table. He was tall and lanky, with wispy brown hair and bug eyes. I studied him closely as he approached, feeling Lily wiggling around in her seat.
“Hey there, Paul. I didn’t know you were coming out today,” Cindy said.
“Had I known you were coming, I would’ve come picked you guys up,” Paul said.
“Hi, Uncle Paul,” Lily said.
“Hey there, beautiful. I got something for you.”
I watched the man pull a sucker out of his pocket. I watched Cindy try to stop him from giving it to her, but he shrugged her off. I narrowed my eyes at him and watched as Cindy tried to stop Lily from eating it before she had her food. She kept telling her daughter to wait until she’d finished her vegetables, but the effort was fruitless.
And for some reason, it pissed me off.
“Can I sit next to you?” Paul asked.
He sat down before Cindy answered, and she was forced to scoot closer to Kevin. I looked over at my manager, and he gave me a look that crossed between “what the fuck?” and “let’s get the hell out of here.” I didn’t want to leave Cindy with this Paul guy. He seemed bossy and almost possessive of Cindy and Lily. I didn’t like it one bit.
Kevin and I cleaned up our places and headed back to work. I turned my head to take one last look at Cindy, and I saw her looking at me. The guy was talking her ear off, and Lily was bouncing with excitement. She was standing in her seat, and Cindy was trying to get her to sit down. I didn't know who he was or what relationship he had with them, but I didn’t like it.
I don’t know why, but he rubbed me the wrong way.
“Who was that guy?” I asked.
“Paul? He’s a friend of Cindy’s late husband.”
“Late husband?” I asked.
“Yep. Bradley died in combat about a year back. He was a staple in this town. Always willing to help.”
“Paul or her husband?” I asked.
“Her husband. He was a good man. Good to the two of them. I really hope she finds someone else, though, and doesn’t gravitate to Paul.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Oh, it’s an old cliché. The widow clings to her husband’s best friend to try and keep his memory alive. Happens all the time.”
I nodded my head as the two of us walked back into the garage.
I couldn’t get my mind off Cindy and how beautiful she looked. I worked on that damn truck all day, cutting my fingers open and wanting to toss the damn thing off a cliff. It was a hunk of junk that didn’t need to be running on the road anymore. It needed a professional restoration job, not a tune-up.
But I got it going as best as I could before I returned it to her.
I stormed into my house and stripped off my dirty clothes. I tossed them into the hamper and turned on the hottest shower I could stand. I was covered in grease and smelled like a fucking sewer. I wanted to wash off the day and the barbecue and all that nonsense from the afternoon before enjoying my day off the next day.
My mind, however, kept rushing back to Cindy. I now knew for certain why I recognized her as a kindred spirit. She knew the pain of losing the person you were meant to spend your life with. She knew what I was feeling a lot of the time.