“At dawn, with the night’s chaos completed, I sat on a rock ledge overlooking the favela, the city lights and the bay spreading below me.
“As I waited for the sun to rise, I had so much anger in my heart I wondered if I might poison myself with my own hatred. I hated what I did and what I was, but I still persisted. I couldn’t make myself stop. Even if I’d had the strength of will, Ra’om would’ve persuaded me to continue in ways so vile and painful, I sincerely hope they’re beyond your imagination.
“The sun rose and it didn’t assuage the horror inside me, as I’d hoped. I still felt it, destroying my soul. But then I saw a flash of sunlight in the street below me. It reflected off the golden hair of the girl who stands before me now. You, Daryn. You were there.”
My breath catches with surprise. I have only been to Brazil once, but I remember it perfectly. And I can’t believe that Rael was there. “You saw me?”
“Yes. You came up a dirt alley, and then dipped below a roof where I lost sight of you for a moment. Then you emerged again holding a small child at your hip. For a moment I thought you were a kidnapper. But I’ve seen this type of human, and though they take every shape, it didn’t seem right. Perhaps that’s why I followed you. Perhaps it’s why I tried delving into your mind. I couldn’t do it. And at that moment, of course, I knew you were a Seeker.
“In truth, I debated putting an end to your life. Daryn—I say this because I want you to know the full extent of what I was. Fueled by fear and hatred. But, for reasons that are beyond me, I did not. I followed you instead.
“You took the little girl to a cafe. There were dried tracks of tears on her grimy face. She did not speak English, and you did not speak Portuguese, but as I recall, you both spoke the language of sweets. You bought her some kind of fruit tart. Then some kind of pastry dusted with sugar. Then some kind of fried dough concoction. You wiped the girl’s mouth with a napkin and smiled at her. You played a game, having her guess which of your hands held a coin. Very soon, perhaps partly because of the extreme quantities of sugar flooding her very small system, she was belly laughing. When you were finished, you took her right back to where you found her and, in that instant, on that little girl’s face, I saw pure and unbridled happiness.”
“She was precious. I remember her, too. I fell in love with her in that hour. Why are you telling me this?”
“You gave her more than a moment of happiness that day—you gave her hope that she could carry as long as she wished. Perhaps I’m wrong, but … Seeking is as much about keeping hope as it is about finding. Giving hope, sustaining it—what Seeking could be done without that? You gave that little girl hope, and you’ve done so for me as well. So. If you’re getting that part right most of the time, which I know you are, then you’re a very good Seeker indeed. And,” he adds, tipping his head, “we will find him.”
A massive wave of gratitude sweeps over me and, for an instant, I glimpse the glory of what he once was. Feeling the impulse to hug him, I step forward before I realize what I’m doing and stop myself.
Rael’s back straightens suddenly in surprise. A warm amber light glows behind him, brightening. Huge golden wings unfurl at his back, ten feet high or more. They brush past branches as they open, fanning wide.
Even in the fading daylight, they’re brilliant.
Majestic.
Stunning.
The look on Rael’s face as he sees them is utter disbelief.
But the wings begin to rain gold feathers as soon as they’re fully extended. They flutter down one by one, then by the dozen. In seconds, there’s nothing left at his back. The wings are no more than piles of feathers melting into the dirt by his feet, disappearing.
I don’t dare say a word.
Silently, we mount up and ride back to Gray Fort.
I glance at him as the last of the day’s light leaves the woods.
His face is pale and his eyes are distant.
He was trying to cheer me, but something far more profound just happened to him, and I can tell he needs time to absorb its impact.
Rael is shaken to the core.
*
I’m still thinking about his reaction as I submerge into the bath one last time. The water has been lukewarm for a while and my fingers are shriveled, but I feel reinvigorated. If Rael is right and Seeking is about keeping hope alive, then I can do that. I pull myself out of the tub, dress, and head downstairs.
The sound of conversation leads me to the kitchen. I find Rayna and Torin busy with food preparation. Rael is in there, too. Sitting at the farm table at the center of the room as he talks to them. I hear Sebastian’s name from his lips, his voice jovial, like he’s reminiscing about his friend, but he falls silent when he sees me.
He breaks into a smile. He’s himself again: casually elegant, composed. No trace of the shaken Rael from earlier.
“There you are,” he says, standing. “Is this all right? I thought we could eat here. It’s more comfortable than the formal dining room.”
He’s changed into gray slacks and a loose black button-down. He’s also bathed—and he looks … handsome. I immediately feel stupid for thinking so. First, it’s irrelevant. And second, now I feel ridiculous for wearing the same clothes I’ve worn for a week—and coming down here with wet hair piled in a top knot.
“Of course. This is fine.”
He pulls out my chair for me and sits across from me.
“Just about ready,” Rayna calls over her shoulder.
“This is going to sound odd, but I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages,” Rael says. His fingers tap on the stem of a wineglass and I’m reminded of how ancient he is. Maybe ages isn’t an exaggeration to him. He must think I’m so young—a child.
“I know. I feel the same way.” We’ve spent a lot of time together over the past three days. Searching for Gideon. Touring Gray Fort. Talking. His company is beginning to feel normal. The time we spent apart just now somehow felt much longer than a couple of hours. That reminds me. “Thank you for trying to find Gideon today. I didn’t get a chance to thank you earlier.”
“Of course. I’m sorry we didn’t find him, but we’ll try again tomorrow.”
I nod. “That sounds good.” All I see are echoes of those golden wings spreading behind him. Had he seen a glimpse of what his future might look like if I let him leave the Rift? Had he seen his “new beginning”?
Rayna lifts a steaming pot off the stove and rushes toward the garden door. “The door, Torin. The door, the door, the door.”
We both stop to watch them—two people working as a single entity. One commanding, the other obeying. It’s so innocuous. Just part of how they operate. But I think of what Rael’s told me about Ra’om. Another command-and-obey duo—but not at all as innocent.
“Do you miss the Kindred?” I ask.
“No.”
“None of them?”
“Not at all. We weren’t friends, Daryn,” he says simply. “We were united by our weakness. I don’t miss that. Do you miss home?”