“We missed you, D.” He wraps me into his arms.
“Me too,” I croak into his shoulder.
Then I turn to Gideon and freeze. For a lifetime.
He’s right in front of me but I can’t seem to absorb seeing him. He’s like the sun—only visible indirectly. Somehow we move toward each other.
His arms fold around me. I’m shaking, but I can’t stop it. This feels so forced, so false. When he squeezes, he unknowingly presses right on the cuts on my lower back.
Reflexively, my lungs pull in and my back goes straight.
I feel him freeze, tensing, but I dart back and immediately shut it down.
The pain. The disappointment. The fear.
I did all I could. Now it’s time to move on.
“We should go inside,” I say to anyone who cares. “I have a lot to tell you.”
CHAPTER 8
GIDEON
After months of not knowing, the time for answers has finally arrived.
Maybe.
This is Daryn.
With her, information is never a sure thing.
I lean against the living room wall between Maia and Suarez and listen to her describe the crumbling orb, the pain of going through the portal, and then arriving at the woods she discovered on the other side.
She speaks slowly, her eyes on the mug of tea in her hands that’s no longer steaming. Occasionally she pauses for long stretches to either think or collect herself. I think I used to be able to tell.
“The pain subsided once you were through?” Cordero asks, posing one of few questions so far. She’s kept her interruptions to a minimum, letting Daryn set the pace.
“Yes. It was tearing pain at first. It felt like…” Daryn shakes her head. “Like a rift. A break inside me. Once that passed, though, I still felt pressure in the back of my head. Not a headache exactly, just … pressure.”
I glance at the owl clock on the wall in the kitchen. One thirty in the morning, but no one looks tired.
Ben and Soraya run voice and video recorders on the coffee table in front of Daryn. Cordero sits directly opposite her in a straight-backed chair. Isabel is next to Daryn on the couch. Jode, Marcus, Low, and a couple of the techs are scattered around the room. We’ve been doing this for over an hour but it feels like five minutes. I’ve never seen a dozen people keep still for this long.
I’m the only one who’s not locked into every word. My mind keeps taking detours, trying to reconcile the Daryn I remember with the Daryn in front of me. It’s like getting the same picture but with a better exposure.
And I also keep thinking about what she’s hiding.
I know she’s bleeding beneath the blanket pulled over her shoulders. After I hugged her, there was blood on my prosthetic.
Who hurt her? Samrael? Why hasn’t she said anything about it?
When she describes the white flowers that she followed, her voice becomes quieter and more measured, and I’m in. She has my full attention.
“I followed them,” she says. “It almost felt like … like they were creating a path for me through the woods. Then … then I saw her. My mother.”
For a second, no one breathes. Then Isabel asks the question on all our minds.
“Daryn, your mother? She was there?”
“Yes.” Daryn looks up from her tea. “She was there. I don’t know if she was real or if I imagined her.” She frowns, her eyes going distant. “She seemed real. I mean … it was exactly her. Her voice. Her expressions. She told me she knew I’d come for her. She said all these things … I was talking to her. But then the creature came and she disappeared.”
“Creature?” Cordero says.
Daryn looks at her. “The one that attacked me.”
There’s a stir of surprise around the living room but I’ve been waiting for this. Still, my pulse starts to race as Daryn describes it.
“It was horrible. Worse than horrible. Harrowing,” she concludes.
“Any idea what it wanted?” Cordero asks.
Daryn shakes her head. “I thought it wanted to kill me. It definitely tried at first. But then it went back for my backpack. That’s where the orb was—inside.”
“Did the creature get to it?”
“No. I lassoed it and strung it up in one of the trees.”
Pause.
Pause, pause, pause.
Jode turns his ear. “Say again?”
“I lassoed it with a lariat I had tied to Shadow’s saddle and hung it from a tree.”
Marcus smiles. Low and Suarez look at each other, eyebrows rising.
Then, for the first time since we came inside the cabin, Daryn looks at me.
None of my planning works. I have no idea what to say.
What she did was completely badass and dangerous and I know she’s hurt and probably almost died. But none of that comes out of my mouth. Nothing does. I just cross my arms, hiding my prosthetic like a coward.
Why do I keep doing this? I’m not embarrassed about robohand. Never have been before.
Cordero keeps us on track. “You restrained it with a rope. Then what happened?”
“It told me that I’d never get Sebastian. And it told me not to even try, that there were more of them, those harrowing things. Dozens or … or maybe more.”
I push off the wall, anger bolting through me. “It told you that?” No one’s stopping me from getting Bastian back.
“Not in those exact words.”
“What exactly did it say? Did it say he’s alive?” My voice comes out harder than I intend, and all eyes are on me.
I look at Suarez. A vein stands out on his neck. I look at Maia. She’s about to bite through her lower lip.
The signs are there. Time for me to become absent again.
I pull open the door and step outside.
*
Fifteen minutes later, Marcus joins me on the porch. “Cordero’s calling it. We’ll pick up in the morning. Probably a good idea for people to take a break.”
“Okay. Actually, no. Not okay. Bas is in there with those things, Shadow’s missing, and we’re taking a break to get some sleep?”
“We’re looking for Shadow. And Daryn’s fried, man. You saw her.”
“It took her eight months to do something, Marcus. Sebastian’s been in there this whole time. Wounded. On his own. What do you think’s happening to him? You think he’s taking a break to get some rest? Sorry, but I’m having a hard time feeling bad that Daryn’s a little tired when Sebastian could be getting tortured or worse.”
I don’t know why I say it. It helps no one. I’m not even sure I mean it.
“I’m not the one who’s calling this off tonight,” Daryn says, right behind me. She overheard it all. “Cordero wants to stop.”
I straighten off the porch rail and face her. “How does it feel to not be calling the shots for once?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I don’t know what it means. I’m on autopilot. I catch Jode’s eye over her shoulder. He shakes his head slightly, and I know I should walk away but I don’t.
“You blame me for this.” Daryn steps forward and stares right into my eyes. “Just say it, Gideon.”
“I’m not doing this. I’ve got nothing to say to you.”